So hard to look in the mirror... *rant*
I would break them all if it would help me at all!!
Two and a half years ago i was 24 and loving life...i was chubby (5'8" 190lbs) but not huge. I felt great and looked pretty darn cute. I could do what i wanted, including swimming, hiking, dancing, whatever. I had great self confidence and was so happy.
My fiance and i moved in together May 2007... he is military...we were supposed to be in Mississippi for 3 months then be permently stationed in California near our friends and family. Well more than two years later we have just moved to California a week ago.
During our time in Mississippi I didnt make any friends because we always thought that in a few months we would be gone. We never went anywhere but to eat and movies and stuff. I lived 2 min from the beach and never went. What was supposed to be a temperary pass through took away 2 years of my life.
At first i realized i was gaining some weight, i figured it was maybe 20 pounds and would be easy to lose...then after a year, i figured it was maybe 30 pounds...well it ended up being 65 pounds!!
You know when people have WLS and lose weight so fast that they dont recognise themselves in the mirror...well i dont recognise this fat person looking at me.
If i close my eyes and picture myself i see a thick, healthy, beautiful person...full of life...
When i open my eyes and really look...all i see is a really fat person, not me...like someone is playing a cruel trick on me.
Now that we are in California, all my old friends and family want to come visit me and im so embarrassed...my sister actually told my mom that she needed to talk to me cause they are worried about my weight and my health.
every time i go on a diet i lose maybe 10-20 pounds and then gain even more back after...i try for lifestyle changes, and some of them stick...but it never seems like enough and then things happen and i get new bad habits or situations. I feel like its impossible to lose weight, the more i try the harder my failures bring me down. If i lose 5 pounds then a week later if i dont cut even more calories then i gain it right back...my system is so screwed up by all the diet pills and diets i have used. I was in the Navy for 6 years and even with the meals they served and the manditory exorcize i gained weight every year in the Navy untill I was too heavy to reinlist and had to get out.
Im so scared that if im this way at 26, where will i be at 30? What if i want kids...and i get pregnant...its not healthy to be pregnant at this weight, god forbid i gain more and then get pregnant...and its only going to be harder to lose weight the older i get.
I have no real comorbities except bouts of depression and acid reflux...my bmi is 40 (5'8" 265 pounds)
My fiance is in the middle of a 5 year divorce...and when it is final we are going to get married, he knows that i want to see about getting WLS...but now he is on deployment for 2 months...then when he comes back they will be schedualing his 6 month deployment...who knows when their divorce will be finalized. Im a 26 year old college student with no insurance...
I am just so frustrated...
Two and a half years ago i was 24 and loving life...i was chubby (5'8" 190lbs) but not huge. I felt great and looked pretty darn cute. I could do what i wanted, including swimming, hiking, dancing, whatever. I had great self confidence and was so happy.
My fiance and i moved in together May 2007... he is military...we were supposed to be in Mississippi for 3 months then be permently stationed in California near our friends and family. Well more than two years later we have just moved to California a week ago.
During our time in Mississippi I didnt make any friends because we always thought that in a few months we would be gone. We never went anywhere but to eat and movies and stuff. I lived 2 min from the beach and never went. What was supposed to be a temperary pass through took away 2 years of my life.
At first i realized i was gaining some weight, i figured it was maybe 20 pounds and would be easy to lose...then after a year, i figured it was maybe 30 pounds...well it ended up being 65 pounds!!
You know when people have WLS and lose weight so fast that they dont recognise themselves in the mirror...well i dont recognise this fat person looking at me.
If i close my eyes and picture myself i see a thick, healthy, beautiful person...full of life...
When i open my eyes and really look...all i see is a really fat person, not me...like someone is playing a cruel trick on me.
Now that we are in California, all my old friends and family want to come visit me and im so embarrassed...my sister actually told my mom that she needed to talk to me cause they are worried about my weight and my health.
every time i go on a diet i lose maybe 10-20 pounds and then gain even more back after...i try for lifestyle changes, and some of them stick...but it never seems like enough and then things happen and i get new bad habits or situations. I feel like its impossible to lose weight, the more i try the harder my failures bring me down. If i lose 5 pounds then a week later if i dont cut even more calories then i gain it right back...my system is so screwed up by all the diet pills and diets i have used. I was in the Navy for 6 years and even with the meals they served and the manditory exorcize i gained weight every year in the Navy untill I was too heavy to reinlist and had to get out.
Im so scared that if im this way at 26, where will i be at 30? What if i want kids...and i get pregnant...its not healthy to be pregnant at this weight, god forbid i gain more and then get pregnant...and its only going to be harder to lose weight the older i get.
I have no real comorbities except bouts of depression and acid reflux...my bmi is 40 (5'8" 265 pounds)
My fiance is in the middle of a 5 year divorce...and when it is final we are going to get married, he knows that i want to see about getting WLS...but now he is on deployment for 2 months...then when he comes back they will be schedualing his 6 month deployment...who knows when their divorce will be finalized. Im a 26 year old college student with no insurance...
I am just so frustrated...
That's really frustrating I know. I feel the same way. I am 24 and I have always been overweight but I didn't become obese until college. I played water polo in High School and when I look back at the pics, I wsa really hott. I have some pics posted on my page. Well a year ago I hit my highest known weight 355. I didn't belive I was that fat. I don't get winded when walking and can walk all day. I can even do the ellyptical. but when I hung my jeans or folded my underware I was disgusted. I have Kaiser insurance and they required a 6 month pre-op class in addition to other things that delay the process of WLS. I lost 55.5lbs before my surgery a year later. I think what helped me loose the weight was that I had to record all the food I ate. I am a binge eater but I refused to eat a whole pizza because I didn't want to admit it on paper and the dietician reviewed our weekly food logs. I had my surgery 6/16/09 and lost 15lbs in 1.5 weeks. Then I gained 4lbs and teatered for over 3 weeks. I wasn't recording my foods and I was likley eating too many carbs. I cut the carbs and lost 7lbs in a few days. Weight loss before surgery is a simple calories in vs. calories out equasion. There are a lot of internet sites that are free and offer assistance. I like http://www.calorieking.com/ for counting calories, carbs, protein and fat. I like http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/jumpsite/calculat.ht m for exercise. Chesck them out and bookmark them. If you are honest and write down what you eat you will loose weight, trust me. Plus when you work out and learn that walking for a couple hours doesn't even burn off a slice of cheescake you will think again before eating that slice. Look at lables and set a calorie gaol for yourself. I started at 2,500 then after a few weeks I went down to 2,000 a couple months later 1,500. Don't go below 1,200-1,300 cal without WLS you will stall in your weight loss and start gaining even with such a low amount of calories. I also limit my carbs and that has helped me. I am very interested in nutrition and know quite a bit. How I got to be 355 Idk... But if you need a friend add me on this site and you can private message me or e-mail me at [email protected]. If you have a plan you can not fail. Because you don't have insurance WLS is probably not a possibility at this time. Good luck with everything.
thanks for your reply!
I am hoping that in a couple of months my fiance comes home and we can tie the knot quickly. Then I will have tricare prim insurance and can atleast consider WLS.
Right now, with my new life in San Diego i am trying to just be more active. I have noticed that when im active i make better choices in what i eat. On my way back from the beach or hiking i dont want to eat greasy or heavy fast food.
I just got a stair stepper and am working on buying an eliptical machine, and im hoping to just be active for 30-60 min every day. I know that if i get active i will make better choices in what i eat.
But hey, im like you, i can do what i want...i dont get winded, i can walk anywhere or do what ever i want, and i dont feel held back by my weight. But, like today, im going for coffee with an ex, now good friend, and he hasnt seen me since i weighed 100 less than i do now...im just so scared that people are going to look at me that i knew years ago and get sick just from looking at me.
UGHHH i dont even know what to say. My fiance never complements me on how i look anymore, but he used to tell me i was hot and sexy. Now all the talks about is us getting fat and old together and being fat and happy.
I want to lose weight but im scared that ill only be able to lose a small amount and that little bit will be enough to get me under the BMI for WLS then ill still be fat and wont be eligible when i get insurance!! I just want to be healthy as i age...and im not off to a good start!!
I am hoping that in a couple of months my fiance comes home and we can tie the knot quickly. Then I will have tricare prim insurance and can atleast consider WLS.
Right now, with my new life in San Diego i am trying to just be more active. I have noticed that when im active i make better choices in what i eat. On my way back from the beach or hiking i dont want to eat greasy or heavy fast food.
I just got a stair stepper and am working on buying an eliptical machine, and im hoping to just be active for 30-60 min every day. I know that if i get active i will make better choices in what i eat.
But hey, im like you, i can do what i want...i dont get winded, i can walk anywhere or do what ever i want, and i dont feel held back by my weight. But, like today, im going for coffee with an ex, now good friend, and he hasnt seen me since i weighed 100 less than i do now...im just so scared that people are going to look at me that i knew years ago and get sick just from looking at me.
UGHHH i dont even know what to say. My fiance never complements me on how i look anymore, but he used to tell me i was hot and sexy. Now all the talks about is us getting fat and old together and being fat and happy.
I want to lose weight but im scared that ill only be able to lose a small amount and that little bit will be enough to get me under the BMI for WLS then ill still be fat and wont be eligible when i get insurance!! I just want to be healthy as i age...and im not off to a good start!!
Well San Diego is a great place to be fit. I live in a suburb of Los Angeles. Have you tried structured support programs like Weigh****cher's? Many insurance companies require proof of a medically supervised weight loss program for at least 6 months. Mine required that. I graduated high school 1/2 year early and gained a lot of weight quickly. By my high school graduation I bet I gained 100lbs. My suposed best friend at the time was a twin so her sister sat next to her. She was talking **** to her about how fat I had gotten and my other friend also happened to be close alphabetically and told me everything. I was really upset but whatever, she's a ***** For my friend to have heard it she must have been talking loudly. People may talk **** about your weight and it will hurt so... yeah... It sucks but the best thing you can do is start making a better life for yourself today. If I were you I would do more research about the insurance you will get. But if it is gonna take a year why suffer now. Start loosing today and if you fail you can possibly fall back on WLS. Plus don't you wanna look hot in a wedding dress. I know I do and I will. I am lucky my man is a horn dog. He is not only super sexy but he is obsessed with me. He is actually bummed that I may loose my boobs. Even at 355lbs he told me daily how sexy I am and trust me he is a sexy man and I so am not. WLS is a way to loose weight quickly but it is not likley to get you to your goal. Check out the stats on WLS and do a lot of research about the different kinds. My motive was health and I want kids and could not get pregnant. What is yours?
My main motivation is to live a long healthy life, im only 26 and already almost 300 pounds...if it only gets harder to lose the older you get then im screwed!
Yes im trying to lose now, but its nagging at me that I will never get to my goal with just diet and exorcise alone because my body is so messed up from the years of drugs, diets, and diet pills i pushed it through.
I did Jenny Craig 3 years ago and lost 4 pounds the first week and gained and lost 5 more pounds for the next 3 months i was on it. It was so expensive and I stuck to the plan...but i couldnt keep paying for it since i was not seeing any result.
I can not afford any gym memberships or commercial nutrition/weight loss things right now like weigh****chers...so if my insurance requires that, then im game to start right there with them paying for it. I have been doing my research on Tricare and know that they do the diffrent WLS here in San Diego. Some docs require the proof you tried and some dont. but they offer the nutritionist and i will have access to an actual gym to show proof once i get the insurance. If it takes 6 months or even a year after i get insurance, well atleast ill be headed the right way.
I am trying to lose weight the old fashion way...its my only option right now, and i refuse to sit here and not do anything...I have life goals and plans, I plan on being a doctor in the future, and i have an idea of what i want to look like when i get there...and this aint it!
Yes im trying to lose now, but its nagging at me that I will never get to my goal with just diet and exorcise alone because my body is so messed up from the years of drugs, diets, and diet pills i pushed it through.
I did Jenny Craig 3 years ago and lost 4 pounds the first week and gained and lost 5 more pounds for the next 3 months i was on it. It was so expensive and I stuck to the plan...but i couldnt keep paying for it since i was not seeing any result.
I can not afford any gym memberships or commercial nutrition/weight loss things right now like weigh****chers...so if my insurance requires that, then im game to start right there with them paying for it. I have been doing my research on Tricare and know that they do the diffrent WLS here in San Diego. Some docs require the proof you tried and some dont. but they offer the nutritionist and i will have access to an actual gym to show proof once i get the insurance. If it takes 6 months or even a year after i get insurance, well atleast ill be headed the right way.
I am trying to lose weight the old fashion way...its my only option right now, and i refuse to sit here and not do anything...I have life goals and plans, I plan on being a doctor in the future, and i have an idea of what i want to look like when i get there...and this aint it!
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