need advice!

Hey guys, i could use some advice! 
I have an old-coworker that messaged me recently (Not on OH) after seeing some pics i posted. She is overweight, we worked together at lane bryant.
She said shes been trying to lose weight and wanted to know what i had done, raving about how great i looked, etc. she wants advice, tips, etc.
I generally would just tell anyone that i had surgery but she was kind of a malicious co-worker. we weren't really that close and i'm not sure i feel comfortable telling her because of the way she used to be. One of her questions was "what got you started" "what keeps you motivated,etc"
ugh i don't know if i should tell her about my surgery or not, i also don't know why i care what she would think about it lol
any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone

You certainly don't want to lower yourself to her level...So I would just tell her you had the surgery and maybe pass along your surgeons name and number and tell her to call them with questions. I definitly would not try to be buddy buddy about it...especially with the way she was in the past.

I know people like that. I have been told that I am taking the "easy" way out... Yeah right... Well you could tell her everything but... The truth is you are eating significatly less and exercising (I hope). You have probaby worked really hard because you look beautiful. If you don't really care about her then blow her off. If you genuinly think she is asking for help then let her know about your experience with WLS. That's what got me seriously interested in the surgery. Other people told me about how wonderful it was for them. If she is going to judge you and be a ***** who cares. You don't associate with her anyway. and if she is malicious it will only be because of her jelousy.

 I personally wouldn't. I find my surgery to be a very personal thing and I have to be comfortable with the person to tell them. But it's a personal choice.

well i personally tell anyone and everyone who will listen about my surgery haha BUT i totally see why you would be reluctant to do so in this situation. I honestly would not even reply at all...if she is nothing to you but an ex co-worker...meaning you really dont ever see or speak to this person they really dont even need any answer at all!! i personally wouldnt even allow myself the option of having to lie or leave anything out of your journey...just wouldnt even respond!
take care and good luck with this!!

I would just tell her.  If you aren't comfortable telling her then just tell her you are eating a high protein, lower carb diet (and working out if you do so).

Best of luck.  There will always be people out there that suck.  I just smile at those people, say thanks and keep on walking.

If you truly don't feel comfortable telling her then don't.  Tell her the an overall change of eating habits and exercise is the road to your success, which in all actuality, it is...lol! 

Hello Amanda,

You are indeed correct that this is a very personal decision.  If I can make a suggestion...it seems that you feel you have reason to be cautious around her.  Amanda, you need to listen to your heart on this one.  You do not owe it to your old co-worker to disclose your surgery to her.  You did your surgery for YOURSELF, not for her.  If you feel compelled to answer her, then I have a suggestion.  I would respond in a pleasant yet evasive manner so that you gave her good advice and yet you also sent her a message that you are not interested in disclosing more information.  Perhaps you can tell her the following: "People are overweight for a multitude of reasons and what works for one may not be successful for another.  I feel uncomfortable offering advice on medical issues.  This is something you should really discuss with your physician."

One last word of advice...do not allow yourself to feel guilty for how you feel.  You do not owe her anything.  And to those who offered you advice about disclosing your surgery, they are correct that disclosing your WLS is nothing for you to feel ashamed. 

However, I may have misinterpreted the tone of your question but to me it almost sounded as if you were looking for a way out of this so you would not have to disclose your surgery to her.  If that is how you feel, then do not disclose it.  Go with your heart.

I wish you the best!

Chris

I know this is the unpopular opinion but....I would just tell her. She may be a completely awful person, but helping her will likely be rewarded in some way, even if it isn't obvious. I honestly think that the whole "pay it forward" concept is especially poignant when comes to this weight loss support thing. look at it this way - her health could be in the balance and while it's not your responsibility to tell her and as others have said, you don't owe her anything, It's the ethically right thing to do - even if it completely sucks. And worst case, if she turns around and somehow uses it against you, it's her loss.  I'm not even sure how that would work - it's extremely hard to argue with results and she would have to be a complete fool to do something like that.