MENTAL BREAK DOWN!

So i had my surgery may 19th i have lost 12 lbs since then! i lost 12 before surgery so thats 24 lbs! woohoooo!....



buuuut wtf last night i had a totall mental breakdown!
Before bed i was going over my meal plan my surgeon gave me and i just started crying like crazy.
I told my husban i feel like an anorexic........not because im not eating like i used to....but when i feel full for some reason it trigers in my head FAT ASS FAT ASS FAT ASS YOUR A FAT ASS! I finally was able to finish a half cup of potato soup and i was discusted and upset that i finished it. I was like OMG I AM EATING TO MUCH OMG IM GONNA FAIL IM GONNA STAY FAT FOREVER BLHA BLHA CRY CRY.....WHEN really all i ate that whoooole day was a yogurt wich mid u took me 3 hours to eat! i had 1 cup instant breakfast that took an housr to get down and then later potato soup! WTF THAT IS NOTHING AT ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sipping water and juice in betwee....but i was just soooo full. Its werid then my husband told me that maybe cuz before when i felt this full is when i was over eating and shuving my face with way to much food and so there for my brain just triggers omg u fat ass when i feel that full now. i dont know hahaha but i felt craaazzzy for thinking how i was thinking!

add my myspace!

http://www.myspace.com/karaokexxxwls

aww girl, take a deep breath and try to relax. this feelings are very normal after any kindda surgery i was depressed about 2 months after my wls. i know is hard but it will get better in no time you`ll see.
is very important to remember that YOU HAVE TO EAT!!!!!!!!. now eating is not about gaining weight or dieting is about being healthy now u need FOOD!! in order to stay healthy so if you can finish your portion.. that`s great!! it means that ur surgery is doing great and you are working your tool. follow your surgeron rules and you`ll be fine.
and don´t put much atention on the scale its kindda tricky the 1th couple of months so i woulnd´t weight my self to much. non scale victories are the best!
hugs!!

OH definitly, I am sure it's happened to most of us. It will get easier as you progress! Make healthier choices, and when your brain tells you FAT ASS, You know you made the best possiable choice, so you tell that brain to STFU lol... Hang in there its a roller coaster ride of emotions at first.

We all have breakdowns, trust me on that one.  I remember havinig a slight melt down because I wanted to chew food---not liquid, not pureed---I just wanted to chew food.   But I stuck to the plan, and it pays off.

Think of your surgeon's plan as a daily dose of medicine--you are now eating to live instead of living to eat.   And regarding the voices in our head---try to come up with some positive mantras to tell yourself.  It takes a while but it is possible to retrain our thought processes to more positive thinking.

Kudos & Congrats on Weight loss..still can't believe how fast that goes. I am so sorry you went through that but goodness we really end up changing the way we eat overnight litterally! It's so scary in itself to think about that... 

it gets better  hun, it really really does!!
i had my first "break down" at about 2 weeks out, i live alone and i think i waited for my mom to go home and then the water works came on and didnt stop for days. 
honestly i think if we DIDNT have these reactions at some point or another in this journey we just wouldnt be normal.
Just think of how it is for a drug addict to come down from their high and going through withdrawels...we really do have an addiction and as mentioned above, we never stop being addicted.

 Trust me you'll get over that when you get hungry.  Haha.