jealousy

I have  friend who is also my uncles girlfriend is about the same size as me. Well anyways she was all excited when i first told her i was thinking about wls, she told me she was even thinking about it herself , well now that i have decided on it and moving forward with it she is totally acting jealous or mad. I don't know why, is it something I'm doing i mean i am excited about it and i like to talk about it every now and then, should i not do that? Anyone else have this problem? How did you handle it?

Okay so I haven't gone through the surgery yet but I am going to go ahead and give you my 2cents.  Anyways, if anyone acts like this towards you family or not they are usually 99.9% of the time Jealous.  Thats just my opinion.  Maybe you should ask you Uncle what the deal is. Tell him she has been acting weird lately and you were just currious.  Or even just straight up ask her if there is something wrong. That you feel like there is a space between you both these days.  I know of a few people that this will happen to when I get my surgery and I am already ready to either kick them to the curb or tell them you know what...I don't need your ****  Your body is going through alot of changes to have added stress to it.  But I do think this problem is normal.  You will become for confident and love yourself more and more everyday and confidence is something that scares peopel away...Through your journey I am sure you will have people that wont be able to handle it...in doing so they will act mad and jealous because they don't have/can't have what you do.  These people are going to be the ones that constantly drag you down and made you feel bad.  It's sad to say but you shouldn't keep these people around unless they are willing to buck up.  I hope this makes since. Lol good luck and congrats on your WL.

Bobbye

when you're no longer the "designated fat friend", you'll lose a lot of friends...it's really heartbreaking to find out just *****ally is your friend, and who kept you around just because it made them feel better about themselves...
but at least she's outing herself early...now you know...

good luck...it isn't easy, but it's your life you're making better...and you deserve to feel fabulous whether or not they want to be a part of your journey!
xxxbecca

aww girl. get use to it `cuz is gonna be a lot of people who are gonna be jelous after you have ur surgery you`ll be surprise. just don´t lisen to them. get as much support as you can from the people you love and dismissed the bad vibe.

the other day i was talking to this girl at the gym and she was telling me how impressed she was with my weight los blablabla (she didn´t know i had wls) ans she start saying how much she hated one of her cousins `cuz she was always been like huge she even discribe how fat and gross she was ( i was getting mad at this point) and then she told me that she was thinking about getting wls. and telling me she was crazy and that she should take the easy weight out  and that she was not gonna lose the weight any was.blalbla so i told her.
what r u talking about  I HAVE A GASTRIC BYPASS!!!! and your cousing is gonna do great is the best thing she ever can do for her self `cuz she is sick.
she was sooo pale she didn´t know what 2 say i felt so good. lol..

you don´t have to explain yourself 2 anybody is your body and u have the right to do what ever you want it. ´so just be an example to her. if you can do it she also can. so if you an her are very close try to help her giving her tips about how you did your appoiments and stuff.

good luck!!!!
hugs

Wow that's a pretty cool experience Mariana, haha you show em' girl! I hope I get the chance to do something similar someday. Right now some of the people I tell are really cool about it and some of them seem to think it's totally unhealthy and a really bad way to lose weight. I can't wait to prove them wrong and show them how much healthier I can look, feel, and BE with WLS.
There is such a variety of negative responses... there's the uninformed "you'll die! omg be careful cause this one friend of a sister of my friend had surgery and...." kind... the "I'm too jealous, you're not my fat friend anymore" kind... and the "Why can't you just diet? you must be lazy for diet not to succeed, you're going to be even unhealthier losing the weight that way, assuming you can even manage to." kind .... just to name a few... and some people even have a combination of all three of those, lol. Oooh and don't forget the ones that think WLS is only for people who are 700 lbs and bedridden...
But if we're honest with ourselves, before we considered or learned about wls a lot of us had  very similar feelings about it. I had a mix of feelings when my mom told me she was having wls. I had a personal friend who had not followed the rules of her band and had to have surgery to remove it, subsequently regaining all her weight. And of course I heard the stories about people dying days after surgery... So when mom told me, I was scared. I didn't think it was the easy way out, not after she told me about  the dumping and other problems, more like I thought it was waay too hard. I had also just started a diet that was working really well for me and I was really excited about it, so I thought maybe she should try it with me before deciding. But of course she was sure what she wanted to do, so I shut up and watched her take the journey that would inspire me to take the same path.
I think the best thing we can do is to educate our friends and family and others about what we can, and be patient. You never know if they might change their minds once they are more informed :) If they're stubborn even when faced witht he facts, then no sense spending any more time on them.

I'm very sorry you are experiencing this and I wish I could say it gets better, but honestly, I try not to lie. I lost ALL of my female friends due to my decision to have WLS. I had medical reasons and I was a single mother (still am, holla! haha) I was sure they understood, hell half of them said they did. Once I lost 30lbs they showed me their true colors. I was left with one female friend. Once I lost 75lbs she was gone too. It's a shame people cant support us and be happy for us, but unfortunatly thats the way it is. She might be upset this will change your friendship. I, personally, changed SO much after having WLS. I'm no longer in my shell, I'm a picture ***** I love myself and my new life. I feel better therefore I'm happier and more "out there." This is life, you change, people change we just have to learn to adapt. Like I said I know this sucks but its okay, Your going to be healthier, happier,and even more gorgous than you are now! That kind of change is sadly hard for people to accept. Talk to her about this maybe she can tell you how she is feeling and yall can have a heart to heart. If not, move on... accept it, and this new life you've chosen...

HIJACK---- Dang it Jessica... stop changing your advatar.  I hardly recognize you anymore!!  I have to start remembering people's usernames now cause of advatar changes.  You look great girlie!

B

hahaha sorry, been getting some great pics lately! haha..... Thanks so much hun, wheres your new avater huh???

sadly, I know what you mean...I have a friend who was always a thicker girl with me. forever. and now that my self and another friend have had surgery..she has become obsessed with losing weight. doing cleansings day after day, starving herself and even bought bra inserts to make her breasts appear larger.  She is beautiful and has a great body, I hate to see her react that way..we hang out all the time and she hasnt come out and said it to me but her best best friend did.  I just try to encourage her...but she is having some jealousy/body issues.  =( its sad.  I love her to death I hope she doesnt end up hating me ....  be yourself. I try not to talk about it often...but I don't really know!  =( good luck i hope htings pan out for you!

Thanks everyone , I'm going to talk to her tonight, i think, i dunno i am always the type to just push my feelings aside. I don't even know if its worth talking about, i doubt she will change her attitude and it might just make things more uncomfortable.