Mean People Suck

Okay I just need a place to vent. I am NOT having a good week sofar I guess. So yesterday a "friend" of mine who happens to also be my neighbor and I went to the mall here.  We were going to look for house ware stuff and she decided she wanted to go into the clothing store The NewYorker, well that place is obviously for small people.  She isn't a young person either she is 54 years old and her youngest child is my age.  Anyways so flat out looked at me in the face and said "Don't worry, soon you will be able to fit into these clothes and you won't be to big for them" and she continued to say "you have really pretty features but they just can't show under all of THAT" okay instead of saying FAT she said THAT...wich in turn made me feel even worse.  I just had no idea what to do, I didn't know what to say or how to act my heart sank and I wanted to cry. Or hide or punch her in the face, something to hurt her like she'd done me.  I told my husband and my husband wasn't  to thrilled about that, my husband also doesn't like her at all. She always competes like she is 20 something to and wants to be young and fresh.  She told me that WLS would be good for me because I was going NO WHERE with my weight but up.  This has made me feel terrible! But I continue to be around her and let her say things to me like this...whats up with me?  Any of you ever have this problem? It's almost like I am setting myself up to be told how ugly I am to her when we are together.  Any advice?

well i am sorry to hear that. i think your best bet is to hang out with someone else who has adds a positive asspect to your life. To me someone constantly talking bad about my weight and saying mean things would just get me upset and make me depressed and feel wortless so i chose not to hang out with these type of people. i follow the bambie motto if you cant say anything nice say nothing at all. i hope things get better. you are allways free to vent, kick and scream here.

It sounds a little like she feels threatened. You're in your 20s and she's in her 50s, and its all down hill for her. It was probably comforting to her to think that she could one-up you by shopping in the small-clothing store.

I wouldn't bother with her, some people are just like that, whether they realize it or not. I don't think she's trying to tell you that you're unattractive, but that you're already pretty, and that it's going to become more and more obvious as you lose weight, and she doesn't want to be bumped to the second string. Of course, that's a dude's perspective  You're threatening her "machoness"....for lack of a better term :)

She's getting her last few jabs in while she can...
TRUST ME, people like this tend to completely avoid you once you look better than them...she knows her days are numbered...
she will disappear from your life and find some other "designated fat friend" to torment to make herself feel a little less washed-up...
Just remember her behavior when you're smokin hot and shopping with someone who is completely self conscious...it makes us better friends...
xxxBecca

I agree with what the others said. If I were there I would have said, oh of course I can buy things here, I'm very confident I will be wearing them soon enough, It'll give me something to look forward to :) And then I would have bought a few things inthe smaller sizes, cause hey it'll be fun to see the same article of clothing finally fitting after it wouldn't at all before. Anyway, she probably doesn't have much to look forward to. She's not getting any prettier with time and you are. If you aren't planning on being her friend any longer though, you might want to be bold and point out her spiteful ways and see what she has to say about why she said what she did. I like to be brutally honest when I can be because I think that's the only way some people learn and in certain cir****tances I expect brutal honesty in return.

there's a big difference between obese and ugly.  she probably didn't say anything meaner or more insensitive than what we've all said to ourselves. soak it up and use it as ass-kicking ammo. besides, she's just jealous because she has a saggy vagina.

lol... bad mental image there XD

One of the house supervisors (who I can't stand!!...oh yeah, a house supervisor is the "head nurse" who's over the whole hospital at any given point, there are several of them of course)...anyways! One of the house supervisors said to one of our nurses the other day "Well, looks like you're really starting to put that weight on!" THE GIRL IS PREGNANT!!!!!

Your story made me think of this incident. I'll tell you the same thing I told my buddy at work. The next time the evil hag says anything like that to you, look at her and ask if being that big of a ***** takes a lot of work or if it just comes naturally to her. Or, if you can't be that mean yet (and let's face it, getting that much of an attitude takes a lil time), just ask her if her mother never taugh her to keep her mouth shut if she didn't have anything nice to say. You can also point out to her that you don't need anyone putting you down, least of all with the guise of kindness.

Don't be afraid to cut ties with her, even though I know that can be really hard to do (sometimes I think we surround ourselves with people who treat us poorly because we don't think we deserve any better...........but we do!). With a "friend" like that, ya don't need enemies.

-lisa-

You ALL have made me feel so much better. I love this forum.  Thanks so much for the kind words and the helpful hints.  And the laughs lol.  I only have 19 more days now until I get my WLS date! Wish me luck, thanks again you all are so amazing!!!

Bobbye

omg! pour woman she most have lots of friends!!!!. i sure it has nothing to do with you. it just that in this world are a lot of haters. and she is one of those. so yeah in no time you will fit in all that cute clothing and you `ll look fabulous. that what you should told her so she won´t be happy to make u feel bad.  and she is prolly jelous `cuz u are beautiful and she is old.!
so smile and keep on it does not worth it!!!!!!!!!!
hugs