When did I become one-night-stand material?
I love this forum... so nice to be around people who can relate to all this craziness.
Here's my question... when did I become a one-night-stand prospect for men?? LOL
I've been morbidly obese during my short adult life and unless someone wanted a relationship with me, I was never hit on.
Well... this past week my ex from 10 years ago messaged me online and then called me. Here's me thinking, "Yay an old friend, we can catch up!" Well, he flirted like crazy and talked about sex a bunch and then asked me to come over. It was 3 a.m., so I said no, but that it would be cool to catch up some other time. He hasn't called me since.
Then I went out dancing and a nice Russian dude (I am Russian too... so this was a huge deal to attract a Russian guy, lol) asked to dance, then asked for my number. He called me after bars closed and chatted and wanted to see if we could hang out. I said no because I had to work the next day. Here's me thinking, "Cool, I may have made a new friend!" (I know, I know, naive.... but this has never happened to me before!!) He hasn't called since.
So I tell this to a few guy friends and the conclusion is... they apparently wanted a one night stand with me! WTF????? I am so oblivious to all this nonesense that I didn't even see it coming!!!
So... give me some advice... I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl - never have been, never will be... not my forte ... so I'd like to avoid any complication with these kind of men at all cost! LOL
Here's my question... when did I become a one-night-stand prospect for men?? LOL
I've been morbidly obese during my short adult life and unless someone wanted a relationship with me, I was never hit on.
Well... this past week my ex from 10 years ago messaged me online and then called me. Here's me thinking, "Yay an old friend, we can catch up!" Well, he flirted like crazy and talked about sex a bunch and then asked me to come over. It was 3 a.m., so I said no, but that it would be cool to catch up some other time. He hasn't called me since.
Then I went out dancing and a nice Russian dude (I am Russian too... so this was a huge deal to attract a Russian guy, lol) asked to dance, then asked for my number. He called me after bars closed and chatted and wanted to see if we could hang out. I said no because I had to work the next day. Here's me thinking, "Cool, I may have made a new friend!" (I know, I know, naive.... but this has never happened to me before!!) He hasn't called since.
So I tell this to a few guy friends and the conclusion is... they apparently wanted a one night stand with me! WTF????? I am so oblivious to all this nonesense that I didn't even see it coming!!!
So... give me some advice... I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl - never have been, never will be... not my forte ... so I'd like to avoid any complication with these kind of men at all cost! LOL
There is no advice to give you on avoiding it - you are doing a good job by saying no!!
It is liberating isn't it?? I was skinny for one year of my life - about 6 yrs ago. I partied like a rock star! Thank god my girlfriend and I had a rule - come together leave together or we both would have done some crazy **** in the consistent drunken stupor we were in!!
Just know that you are worth more than that!! It does feel good though - to know men find you attractive!
It is liberating isn't it?? I was skinny for one year of my life - about 6 yrs ago. I partied like a rock star! Thank god my girlfriend and I had a rule - come together leave together or we both would have done some crazy **** in the consistent drunken stupor we were in!!
Just know that you are worth more than that!! It does feel good though - to know men find you attractive!
lol. I totally feel you. it's good that you have a good head on you, and even though you weren't thinking along those terms, you were able to halt things. yeah, i say enjoy the attention.... hopefully soon some long-term prospects will come along!
As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly!
Good for you for sticking to your guns!!! Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine. The extra attention is fun though, isn't it?
I did one night stands consistently for about a 9 months to a year in my younger days. I felt that it was the only way to get attention at my size. Not my best decisions, and you can see what my self-confidence level was.
Now, If I get the "one-night stand" conversation going in a bar, I've got the confidence and ability to say NO. I'm usually polite about it, but it does get annoying. You want my phone number, sure. You want to take me out friday night, okay. You want to go back to your place and have meaningless sex, um...not so much. I deserve better.
I think one night stands are hazards of people our age going out and doing anything, especially if alcohol is involved. It's a new social situation for you, and you'll learn how to handle it.
Good luck.
I did one night stands consistently for about a 9 months to a year in my younger days. I felt that it was the only way to get attention at my size. Not my best decisions, and you can see what my self-confidence level was.
Now, If I get the "one-night stand" conversation going in a bar, I've got the confidence and ability to say NO. I'm usually polite about it, but it does get annoying. You want my phone number, sure. You want to take me out friday night, okay. You want to go back to your place and have meaningless sex, um...not so much. I deserve better.
I think one night stands are hazards of people our age going out and doing anything, especially if alcohol is involved. It's a new social situation for you, and you'll learn how to handle it.
Good luck.
Sorry to hear about your stories. Some guys can be real a-holes. Good for you for exercising your self control and saying no to them....it shows you are a strong person! During my college days I wish I could have had the strength to fend off the dirt bags as easily but my non-existent self esteem didn't let me.
Just keep the bar high, the right one will come along before you know it!!
~Emily~
Just keep the bar high, the right one will come along before you know it!!
~Emily~
"Tis better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not"
hahaahaha I WANNA BE A ONE NIGHT STAND!!!!! jk lol.
don´t worry about that `cuz u are not def a one night stand. `cuz u said no. when u could said yes. so we are all very proud of you lol....
and u are gonna atract a lot bunch of gus so is up to you to learn to distinguish who are there beacuse they really like you and the ones who only wanna have fun with you. who know maybe that rusian guy will call :)
you go sexy lady
hugs.
don´t worry about that `cuz u are not def a one night stand. `cuz u said no. when u could said yes. so we are all very proud of you lol....
and u are gonna atract a lot bunch of gus so is up to you to learn to distinguish who are there beacuse they really like you and the ones who only wanna have fun with you. who know maybe that rusian guy will call :)
you go sexy lady
hugs.
Hey girl,
That's funny.
In a way, being obese is nice because it keeps a lot of a-holes away, but at the same time, it can keep a lot of good ones away too. Basically, it keeps men away in general. LOL! Jk. But seriously, my only advice (and this is coming from a girl who lives in Vegas) is to stay away from ex's and the night club scene. Lol. In my experience, it's a total meat market, and I'm like you- not into one night stands in the least.
It's interesting though. The only type of attention that I've gotten as an obese woman was from men seeking a one night stand or friends-with-benefits relationship. I suppose it was because I was never hot enough to be their girlfriend. It will be really weird for me to start getting attention from men who actually want a relationship with me. Believe it or not, as much as I do not want to be single, I'm actually not looking forward to new attention. I'm not saying that men are going to be knocking my door down, but I'd rather not have to sift through a bunch of guys to find the right one.
Good luck! And if what they really wanted was a one night stand, then be thankful they haven't called you back.
-Nichole
That's funny.
In a way, being obese is nice because it keeps a lot of a-holes away, but at the same time, it can keep a lot of good ones away too. Basically, it keeps men away in general. LOL! Jk. But seriously, my only advice (and this is coming from a girl who lives in Vegas) is to stay away from ex's and the night club scene. Lol. In my experience, it's a total meat market, and I'm like you- not into one night stands in the least.
It's interesting though. The only type of attention that I've gotten as an obese woman was from men seeking a one night stand or friends-with-benefits relationship. I suppose it was because I was never hot enough to be their girlfriend. It will be really weird for me to start getting attention from men who actually want a relationship with me. Believe it or not, as much as I do not want to be single, I'm actually not looking forward to new attention. I'm not saying that men are going to be knocking my door down, but I'd rather not have to sift through a bunch of guys to find the right one.
Good luck! And if what they really wanted was a one night stand, then be thankful they haven't called you back.
-Nichole
Is it weird the guys who usually hit on me are black guys who say they like my big ass? lol. I always thought that was kinda funny trend with me. ^_^
Luckily I've had a almost 5 year relationship with my current guy making it quite easy to say no to the very rare come ons from other guys (usually not so good looking). I'll look forward to seeing how my guy reacts to my new figure ^_^ It would be nice if I had been able to say he asked for MY number in the beginning of our relationship and he called ME first instead of the other way around. Oh well. It might have something to do with my size, but maybe not, he is kinda like that anyway and it only took one date to get him firmly in my clutches. lol
Luckily I've had a almost 5 year relationship with my current guy making it quite easy to say no to the very rare come ons from other guys (usually not so good looking). I'll look forward to seeing how my guy reacts to my new figure ^_^ It would be nice if I had been able to say he asked for MY number in the beginning of our relationship and he called ME first instead of the other way around. Oh well. It might have something to do with my size, but maybe not, he is kinda like that anyway and it only took one date to get him firmly in my clutches. lol
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