Hi there! New and up for the challenge

Hi everyone! :)

I'm new to OH but have been considering WLS for a little over half a year. I have been to a seminar and was approved in a week or so. Because of a lapse in my insurance (I'm no longer going to college full-time and up until then, I was on my father's military insurance), I held off until I was insured again. Initially, I scheduled my first appointment all the way in June, but was called and told there was an opening next Wednesday. I took it, but I'll be rescheduling it because of a sudden financial conflict (they want a hefty program fee all up front).

I view the purpose of the surgery--for me--would be to cue myself into being mindful of what I put into my body and how much. I don't want to try my luck with a burger first thing (and I understand that would be quite near suicide and/or impossible) and continue to weed out what I'll tolerate and not tolerate. That would be for later, and in a more cautious way. What I'm looking for first and formost is a mechanism to keep me clued in on what my body needs, does not need, wants, and does not want. I am 21 years old and have been battling with my weight and self image for over half my life. In high school, I became obese, and have only lost enough once to only be 'overweight' again.

I'm beginning a new career as an entrepeneur, I have a love interest, and I'm shopping for different sizes of clothes every few months or so. I am definitely over being a yo-yo'er. I am told I look fine at any weight I have been, as I have a great family and a couple of precious friends. What I am looking for, however, is to feel great about myself first. I look at my history with diets and want to protect myself from failing one more, two more, three more times. I finally made the decision to have the surgery about two weeks ago.

I am back on my father's insurance, which will pick up the entire cost of the surgery, not including the hospital's own program fees. I am responsible for those, and have the means to collect enough money within a month. Because I will be rescheduling, I will be more than prepared to begin the process.

I wanted to introduce myself and my situation but I also wanted to address an issue that I'm dealing with: lack of support. I am currently staying with my parents while finishing school, so in many ways, the decision is not entirely mine. As much as they encourage me to live my life as I see fit, this is my father's insurance and their household. I am going to be allowed to go through with the surgery, but I have had more than one exchange about the differences in our opinions of this lifelong change.

They view this as drastic, which I agree with. They also take into account a boggling series of hiccups and failures in the past due to either naivete or being misunderstood--I promise I'm not a problem child, but I have a habit of doing what others think I should do, and when I bomb at those things, I'm looked at as disobedient. In reality, I have wanted to please my parents my entire life, following their strict views of how I should make my decisions. Unfortunately, I am still under their care because of the things that didn't work for me. I am to blame, yes, but I can't accept all of it anymore. Every day, as a budding adult, I am realizing how transparent I have been. My parents' view of my decision to have this surgery is skewed because they think I will hurt myself in the end.

My self image has hindered me for too long. I am becoming too old to stay a shy, mutable girl who is too concerned about what others think about the way she looks. I've never seen myself as a vain person--only insecure and afraid. I've always wanted to feel in the depths of my heart that I am healthy and ready to take on anything--life, love, money, spirituality. What my parents don't understand, and what many people who hear about this surgery don't understand, is that I am one of those people who will stand in place and watch the world go by because I don't feel comfortable with myself.

My parents argue that they are worried about my health afterwards. There are plenty of people who are enjoying the best health they ever have afterwards. Why else would I be considering this surgery--anyone else have considered it? This isn't meant to lock me into a lifetime of hardly eating and being able to eat only boring things at that. These things, I would know even without research into life post-op, can't be true at all.

Has anyone here dealt with any major discrepancies from loved ones? I have resolved to stay strong, and have friends who support me--and most importantly, my sister, who I'm very close to. However, it's just the three of us in this house, so the gloom will have to fester for a while. Once I prove to them how much I believe in this surgery and in me, I have confidence that things will brighten up.

I hope to have the surgery late in the summer or by the end of fall. Any sooner would be fine as long as my savings are relative. I'm not in it for the smaller dress size or the glam--I just want to be comfortable with myself before anyone else. Then, I can really enjoy true joy and companionship. And not worry about obesity-related illnesses! Finally, I'm ready to be free.

Goodness gracious darling. I am sorry that your parents are not as supportive as you would like them to be. Everyone feels differently about the surgery b/c of risks involved when they aren't in the position of needing it. Please feel free to post often here. There are some great girls and guys on this site and seriously they have so much insight on how to be successful it's amazing! I didn't catch your name nor the type of surgery you are wanting. Glad your already know that your approved. That's 1/2 the battle enjoy life! 

Thank you! What a warm welcome. I've browsed OH for about a week and really love the supportive atmosphere. I just found the 20s forum yesterday, so I decided to make my first appearance. My name is Jessica. :)

I'm on file at the hospital for the RNY surgery.

This is all your decision, you have a great opportunity here in getting the surgery to have a tool that will help you with weight loss. It's a great and wonderful tool but it's still just a tool. You have to know in your heart and promise yourself that you will not let that tool fail you. Controlling what you put in your mouth (even with as little as you put in your mouth) is a huge part of the success of all of those who have made it through to goal. Success isn't guaranteed. Your diet will be forever altered and you will have to keep a really close eye on your nutrition and take vitamins every day for the rest of your life. If you are completely embracing of all of those less than favorable outcomes from having the surgery, you are ready. Maybe the best thing to show your parents you are ready is to find all of the less than good things about the surgery, get REALLY informed, and then tell them all the things you have learned and STILL express how confident you are about your decision. Touting the good things without mentioning the bad might make them worried you don't have a good understanding of what you're getting yourself into. I've noticed the more i tell concerned people about how much I know of the risks involved and the life I have to lead after, the more they begin to trust my decision as the best choice for me. 

wellcome to the board and congrats for making the decision..!!!!!!!! is your body and you have the power so do what you wanna do.
u are gonna love this forum all the girls are awesome and so supportive.
keep us posted and good luck
hugs.

my mom had an RNY 7 yrs ago and tried to discourage me from doing it. Now she said she is glad i didnt listen to her. You have to listen to what your body is telling you. Im 25 and I was starting to get knee pain whenever I walked. I was so tired of eating the "right" foods and still being overweight because I was having such a hard time controlling how much I ate.
Im so glad I did this because I feel like I am going to live longer because of it. If your heart is in it then go for it, and dive in head first. I find the biggest struggle is that people want to pressure you into eating things your not supposed to. I tell people that if I eat "that" I will get sick and feel like I am going to die, and they usually shut up, since they dont know any difference. My mom is on to me of course since she knows that you can cheat (and she is the worst influence ever since she eats "off diet" all the time)
If there is a time to grow up and show your parents that you are mature then this is it. If you get it done then teach them how you are eating so that they can see you making good choices with your diet.
I am picking out new haircuts and walking around the mall again because I can now. I have been hiding in this body in lane bryant and fashion bug clothes for too long. Im not going to live my life like I have been because Im the fat girl and I feel obligated to be congenial since no one likes the sassy fat girl. ( I guesss??)
funny you say that your not going to eat a hamburger first thing because that is one of the first things I ate when I went back to solids (no bun every again. get used to using a fork)
your not going to feel deprived after a few monthes because I step on the scale and read the number and I remind myself how its not worth eating the bun! I will never eat cake again! look what it did! all it ever did was leave me with stretch marks......
you dont eat boring foods and food will not be as important anymore since you dont really eat that much. I eat the same thing all day all week and dont even blink.....I just try on a smaller size at the store and I can button them!!

Things will brighten when they see you making good decisions.
Here is a tiny tidbit to consider. get familiar with the adkins diet until you can have surgery. All protein and fat, no carbs sugar or dairy. You will start losing weight and your diet will be similar after surgery, not the same, but close. I read the book today and it was really interesting how close that way of eating is like mine. your parents will take notice of your determination and have confidence of your surgery...

Hi welcome to the boards.
Sorry to hear your parents aren't too supportive right now. But it is your decision. It is your body after all. I know it can be rough living with them with all the differences they have. Just hang in there and things will work out for ya.

holli