Feeling detached from reality

This is a post I made on another forum, but just realized that THIS may be an amazing place to share these feelings... I am hoping that others feel this way. It's hard to be this open, but it's part of the journey of weight loss:

I am so horribly detached from reality. I have been scared to share this because most of the time the response is, 'You're young, get over it!'

I am finally being treated like a 'normal' person (getting attention, not feeling invisible, etc) and it's freaking me out! I can't handle it!

Realistically, I know I am thinner, I see it in the mirror. But in my head, I am still big, I'm still 'that' person. So when someone starts talking or flirting with me, all I think is, "Are they talking to me? Why? Do they want money?" It's a frickin' conspiracy! I had one person flirt with me and kept wondering, "Does he not see what I look like??" How messed up is that?!

I am so emotional about this sometimes. I think I need therapy and if I can find a way to afford it, I might go. I'm young and would like to be married someday (something my mother nags me about a lot, lol), but at this rate, I'll scare everyone away with my reaction!

Of course, like most people here, before WLS I was excited about actually getting attention some day. Now... in my mind I still WANT it badly to help me judge whether or not I am 'normal' or 'attractive'... but when I get it, I don't know what to do or say. I just want to run.

I am down 95lbs from 304.5 to 209.4. What a trip. Thanks all for reading.

Hi there, first of all congrats on your loss.  Anyways I haven't had the surgery yet I am on a fast way to getting there so I really don't know what to say about the WLS but...If someone flirts with you just take it with a grain of salt, I don't know if you know that saying but just take it step by step.  You know it's really sad because sometimes I feel the same way about my own husband. I look at myself and I look at home 6'5 and 190lbs and I don't understand why he chose me and if he really seems me as big as I am.  But the thing is some guys like bigger girls anyways and it's not your appearance that matters most its your personality. If someone wants you for your appearance you don't want them at all.  Thats the worst thing.  I would say that maybe you should talk to someone about this and they can possibly help you over come this.  You are a beautiful person and others will see you as that.  But maybe talking to someone will help you, that way when Mr. Right comes along and thinks the world of you, you don't run him off.  I hope all this makes since because I feel like I am just saying blah blah blah...but don't worry I have this problem to, and after my surgery I WILL need to talk to someone about this exact thing.  Best luck to you and stop being so hard on yourself, you have come a long way and it's not over. Congrats on it all and keep us posted!!

Elena,
You are so amazing.  You've inspired me so much by your posts and videos.  It's actually a relief to know you're still human.  I remember when I had my daughter and the opposite happened.  I put on 50+ pounds and kept it on.  I noticed the exact moment when people started to treat me differently (in a bad way).  They didn't keep the door open for me or look me in the face anymore. I remember the way I wondered, "do I have a scowl on my face or something?", "why don't they like me or give me a chance."  It's such a hard thing to be shunned by society in front of our own eyes.

You are experiencing the exact opposite.  You deserve this more than anyone.  Just be your sweet self and don't feel like you have to change who you are.  All of us at OH ADORE you!  You are so worth it!

Hey hun! I get what your saying, but on the flipside, kind of. I get alot of attention now and I run WILD with it. Seriously, it does get to the point where I cant control myself. My WLS has taken such a different affect on me but I do believe its a bit similar? Anyways sometimes I do come into contact with what your going through. I'll find a guy I really like and wonder "EXCUSE ME??? WHAT AM I BEING USED FOR THIS TIME!" I have a boyfriend now, that I am so in love with and I always wonder why he is with me and it makes me feel so guilty. He always tells me I'm hot or tells me when he first met me he was scared because I looked so good.... and I just dont believe it, kinna feel like he is trying to make me feel better about myself. I still see the 220lb girl in the mirror who gained the weight initially to get my step dad off of me, then got cancer and depressed and then went through miscarriages and a pregnancy and then who was bedridden for 5 months. When I look at the old me I get depressed because I see all of the hurt wrapped into one that got me to that point. When I look in the mirror, I still see all of that. I think the only thing we can do is somehow learn to love ourselves and be our BEST critic because we were our worst one for SOO long. You are gorgous and beautiful and yes you are young but thats what makes us so great! It IS alot easier to change for us, ya know cant teach an old dog new tricks huh well ya see! =] You gotta learn to accept the compliments because you are beautiful beyond words. Oh and the other night I had this guy telling me, YOUR A 10 BUT WITH YOUR PERSONALITY YOUR THROUGH THE ******G ROOF! and I looked at him and thought for a bit and said YEAH YOUR RIGHT, I WAS FAT I HAD PERSONALITY NOW IM JUST THE **** HUH lol.... take it all with a smile and enjoy the ride sweety, life is great.... and just be a little causioaus if you feel nervous about it because unfortunatly not everyone is a great person, just have fun with them but do better than me and learn to keep the fun to a median, lol or just dont take it overboard like I do.

I hope you can find peace with this because you deserve it and deserve to feel as great as you look and have fun!

I know exactly what you're talking about.  It's hard to accept a lot of attention from guys.  Just recently I considered getting some therapy for some of my weightloss related head issues.  It's definitely an emotional thing, and sometimes it feels like it's hard to handle. 

Even though so much weight has been lost, all of the insecurities associated with being 300+ haven't gone down. 

haha, i`m laughing `cuz i totaly realte to that. when any guy talks to me i always ask : do u want me to introduce u some of my friends? haha... getting coments from guys is weird.. sometimes u don´t know if they are trying just to be nice or actually like u. 

but I think this feeling is noticed. `cuz the general comment it`s been. you look much better than you think.. so i guess is a selfimage problem that we have cary since long time ago. lol.

the other day this guy friend of my cousin told me u look  way 2 good. if i was ur brother i would loked u up in your room.  `cuz i`ll be jelous that every guys is gonna be looking at you.. and i was like ARE U F.. SERIOUS? eaven my grilfriend`s boyfriends are starting to make a lot of comment about my looks. lol. 
so girl start to believe it `cuz i`m about to start 2 believe it 2. haha
yeah we are hot. and yes guys like us!!!.
u are dong great job. keep it up.
hugs.
ps. you should post here more often!