Telling People About Your WLS...How?

Okay so this is something I have been stuggling with.  My husband and I started talking about me getting the WLS about 2 months ago, so far so good as far as me getting it done...just waiting for my appt as you might have read before.  Anyway I have told just a very few select people about my surgery and me wanting to get it done.  I don't know how to simply tell some people that I am getting this.  I have been told by someone I thought was my friend that it's the easy way out and I am pretty much just slacking off.  I don't find it that way at all, my whole life has been a constant struggle.  Not to mention also my Grandmother (mom's mom) and my Grandfather are really rude about weight.  My G-Pa mind you is only in the family through marraige but has been there ALL my life, since before I was born.  Anyways he always sends me e-mails about "fat chicks" and it makes me feel terrible.  He once send me a calendar on the internet and said he saw me in one of those pictures, it made me feel so nasty and so fat. He is one of those people that loves to joke and never takes life serious,  He is mean and hateful about it.  My sister also fights with being big and was going in for her surgery to then find out she was pregnant.  So with this being told how would I tell someone like that, that I had this surgery.  I don't want to listen to their bull**** they have to say about it.  But I know when I go home and see all my family for Christmas this year they will know something is up.  I live in Germany and so they haven't seen me since November...I kindof feel ashamed to have to get this done because I feel I shouldn't have gotten this big in the first place, but how did you guys tell people that were mean this way?  I just don't know how...should I lie and tell them I did it alone, or should I stand proud and tell them the truth?  I'm going to post another message later but for now I just need help on this sub.  Thanks for reading my novel lol.

Bobbye

Okay girl. Here's my 2 cents.... people are ALWAYS going to talk and be negative. People don't understand our heartaches and our struggles and are very quick to judge. I am very proud of my WLS and if anyone asks how i lost the weight I tell them straight up I had gastric bypass surgery. If they chose to voice thier opinions about it after I tell them (which happens often) I just smile and say it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I am a healthier person now because of it. I leave it at that and move on. Nothing we say will convince anyone otherwise. Be proud of it because we all know (those of us who have had it) it's NOT the easy way out. My motto- "People are always going to talk. Might as well give them something to talk about."
The people at work see me walking on my lunch break everyday and struggling all the time still just like them. This is a tool, nothing more. And a dam* good one if you use it correctly. Everyone has different views about WLS. Let people think what they want to. I work in the medical field and every single doctor that i know always commends me and asks me all kinds of questions. (those who don't specialize in this.)

I felt I needed to be open about my surgery from the start because you drop weight so quickly people are going to ask and i didn't feel like lying. I was more concerned people would think I was sick or on drugs. I would rather people know the truth then come up with their own conclusions- especially the drug thing. People who are educated know what this surgery is and the benefits from it. My blood pressure is PERFECT now, diabetes gone and the quality of life has changed dramatically. Be proud girl that you are doing something about this.

Dont feel ashamed for doing something healthy and something positive. I know that is easier said then done, but you will look back at this 2 years from now and wonder why this was even an issue. YOU GO GIRL.

And FYI... tell those mean people who say it's the easy way out to contact me. I'll tell them something about that. LOL 

Hugs,
J

I personally don't feel obligated to tell anyone about having surgery. My immediate family knows and my fiance's family knows, and 1 close friend. That's it. I haven't really had anyone ask, but if they did I'd say I changed my lifestyle. Don't feel like you need the approval of others to validate you decision.

That’s exactly my opinion on it. It’s on a “need to know" basis- if I don’t think you need to know, then you don’t. I’m a private person anyway but for such a huge decision, I’m not really telling anyone. My husband and my mom know; that’s it. I’m leaving it that way.

I don't need anyone else's approval- I'm doing this for me.

100% AGREE!

I know that for this journey, I needed the biggest support group I could get...firefighters are notorious foodies...baking and BBQ and breakfast every day here at work...so I made sure they knew what I was doing and why I needed them to be on board with eating right and avoiding temptation...

I don't regret telling anyone who would listen...everyone here at work has had my back and even researched ways to include me in everything...they added Splenda to the coffee cart, add a piece of fish or chicken to the grill at lunch...no more community donught offerings on my office desk....and water bottles for miles now! THE BEST PART...a few of the guys who have followed my progress are supporting their wives through WLS now....even a few of the guys are getting it done!! Having a new healthy outlook here has helped all of us shed some weight and rethink our menus!!

you never ever can have TOO MUCH support!!

xxxBecca

Becca I love it! Talk about paying it forward. That is awesome. I have talked to a few friends around here and them not knowing the military actually pays for it now, they are looking into it.  It's amazing the impact you can have on people. The few I have told are there 110% and they are wonderful. I guess I care to much about what people say and think about me, thats a battle I have to fight and over come. Once again you guys are awesome!!

I'm actually surprised at how many people have confided in me, after I tell them about my WLS, that THEY DID TOO!!!...People I never knew were fat at one time!!!
I think being the youngest person here has relaxed the stigma a bit too...My enthusiasm and openness has brought some fun challenges too...I bring in goodies made of Splenda and Low Carb recipes and surprise them with the news that they've been eating "bariatric" too...lol
I love to share that the Big tasty jug of Lemonade they've been sneaking drinks of is my sugar free Crystal light!...People who don't have weight issues think that dieting must be as close to hell as it gets...they're curious about how i eat now...why it seems so "normal" and I still continue to lose...so recipe sharing is an almost daily occurance now...with a few adjustments to the recipe, I CAN HAVE NEARLY ANYTHING I WANT...

Don't feel any shame about taking control of your life...the habits you learn now will keep you healthy forever...your family and friends will be a part of this either way...it just happens to be more fun to have them along for the ride.
There is always people who only know the "horror stories" about WLS, only focus on the people who have failed or who were sick and miserable....but that goes with any procedure you have...everyone thinks their opinion is gonna save you...just like "just stop eating" shoulda kept us all thin...lol

To the friends you will lose when you're no longer the designated fat person...to the family members who think this is strictly for vanity...to the post-op failures who try to dissuade you from doing this...JUST BEING A SUCCESS STORY SAYS IT ALL...smiling every day, looking and feeling good and living the kind of life you've dreamed is the best response...if they didn't support your decision before, they most likely will then!!

CONGRATS!
xxxBecca

Thank you both so much for your input, btw I love the smiles lol. I feel alot better after reading ya'lls posts.  I shouldn't feel ashamed sometimes we just need a pick me up I guess.  It all makes since. For those people that want to stand in my way, I will just take on that battle when it gets here. Right now I am kinda keeping it to myself until my ACTUAL date, but after that...I think im going to let it all out.  Thanks again. Glad I became a member of this OH everyone is so nice!!

 For me it was harder to tell people before the fact.  But now since I"ve had it, I'm not shy about sharing my experience.   So far, no one has been anything but supportive from family members to complete strangers...which is rare, I know.   I guess I look at it as it's part of who I am.  If someone has a problem with it, then that's exactly what it is...their problem.   I'm not shouting from the roof tops that I've had surgery, but if someone is really interested on how I lost weight I'll tell the truth or if it's a weird situation telling them you've been working hard is never a lie!  

Most of the time when negativity comes from family/friends, it's just out of worry.  My mom sort of freaked out when I told her I was planning on having surgery but now she's been a great support.  I think after it's all over and you are living the life, people just get use to it.  When they see how happy you are they will be happy for you...if not, then they have some issues of their own they need to resolve. 

This may sound weird but I feel like I've kind of been brought into a role model position for wls.  I like to share my story and how my lifestyle has changed just to show people that yes, we can and will over come the odds...and NO, overweight people are not lazy.   Even just to look at some of the vets on this board proves that ten-fold.  

Sorry to rant!  I guess what I'm saying is don't be afraid of telling the people you want to tell and don't be afraid of the negativity.  You know in your heart you are doing the right thing and that's all that matters! 

Good luck!!

~Emily~