Some people wont want you around now that youre not the DFF

Quick Edit :  here is a portion of the original post .. a list of reasons why some people like you better fat..

Your obesity may be serving other people a purpose:
 
+ It may make them feel superior to you in some way.
+ It may make you less sexually threatening or "safe."
+ It may be they find your fat appealing-- many do.
+ It may mean that your partner is insecure and feels safer that you will stay around with a body type that fewer people prefer
+ They may like having you as an eating partner
+ They may simply not like change
+ Your obesity may be giving them permission to stay overweight as well and they're not ready to make a change
+ They may fear surgery could kill or injure you
+ You may just weird them out because you don't look like *you*

I havent experienced this yet, but I am still pre op--- that being said I can see some potential people that may think of me as their eating buddy, self esteem booster.... even if they wont admit it!

They are just jealous

I have a couple of friends that are overweight as well and they haven't really been in communication with me as much since I had the surgery.  I mean I got the surgery because I was having health issues and the losing weight part is awesome for my self-esteem but I didn't have it just because I was huge and unhappy and I didn't have it b/c I didn't want to be around overweight people.  I miss those friends but I can't help it that I've lost weight b/c I did something about it.  Hopefully in time they will be back in my life more but I can't change it.

Urrgggg Ok girl I am going through the samething sorta speak. My best friend tried to sway me from not getting the surgery suggesting i could do it on my own, and throwing in the fact that we would not have no more pig out nights.... People are just stupied sometimes... I think these people who do this to us, are more worried about themselves rather then obese friend that is having the surgery.... I believe my friends, isn't ready to see me change, and she isnt ready to see me change...  when we did hang out 99.9 percent of the time there was food involved..... I expanding my friends and as I meet new people she pin points whats wrong with them. I find it rude and insaulting....!

Then my best friend for years that being 17years ! (iam 27)

Accussed me and her boyfriend of wanting each other! She has told me repeadly that I am pretty.... I really dont want to go into details as its a long story... I am happily engaged and would never ever touch my so called best friends mans.... like come on.... Anyways I seen her just this past weekend after she came and spoke to me... Her words to me, I never thought that you would sleep with my man, she said she had a lot going on and didnt know how to deal with it.... I said the ****ty part, our friendship is over, and if you where that insecure of me at my max weight, whats it gonna be like when I am smaller????? Ouch!

I told her that I couldnt be friends, and i didnt know if I ever could.... I dont want to be part of her insecurities... or such

17 year friendship... Over
and a 7 year friendship on the rocks...

I don't understand!

I guess its time to reach out and make new friendships, with our new life. we are changing from our own personal styles to even or friends. its hard, but i think nessary!

 u dun weent und mispeeled stewpid. hehe nah just joking. no ive gone through the same thing as a man. I went from fat nerd to hot intelligent man and some people were very much put off,

You're singin' my song here...
and the real kicker...it's our FEMALE friends that do this to us!

I not only don't talk to these women anymore, but they CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!
17 months of them no longer speaking to me (starting about 36 hours before my surgery) and they still have nothing better to discuss...really *****y, viscious **** too...

But being able to love my life, feel great and look amazing in jeans is worth it...I just use the nastiness as a gauge of my success...the better I look, the more they hate their lives...

I didn't ask for that power...I didn't care to hurt anyone or even "compare" anything....but it seems that their lives are all about it...oh well

it gets worse
it's not your "fault"...you're doing the right thing for your health

sorry
xxxBecca

I TOTALLLY had the same thing happen to me.

My bestie bestest in the whole world freaked out when i told her about the surgery...pretend to be happy then didn't talk to me or take my calls for almost a month. I explained to her that it was the most important thing in my life and i had to do this....eventually she came around and now that i am losing weight she see's how happy it makes me and that me being happy both psycihically and mentall actually makes me a better friend.

i think for us, we just had to find new ways to connect that didn't involve eating and ALSO, to make her understand that i don't care what size she is, i love her no matter what.

She broke down and told me that she thought once i got thin, i wouldn't want to be her friend, which obviously couldn't be further from the truth. It's been a tough few months...but we've reconnected and thing are better than ever.

I hope everything can be worked out with your friends... :)

 

I totaly have one of this friends. I still love here and she loves but sometimes i just wanna kill her. I know is hard for her.
`cuz i used to be a lot heavier than her . and now she can´t fit in my cloth. and she alwasy liked my clothing so is hard for her.
and she always say thinks like my dad would never let me to have surgery. and have you seen "that girl who also had surgery" she has lost more weight thatn you .and things like that, that makes me feel bad. but i know she feels like crap. so i hang in there 4 here. If i was in her plac i might act like that. 2.

I have a friend who is acting like that. Ironically enough I called her today and she ignored it. It's possible to ignore phone calls, but how do you explain mutiple ignored emails and text messages? I've been in denial for a while now, but it's pretty clear what's going on. This is the reason I haven't told people about the surgery, because she is one of 2 friends that I told and this is how she reacts.

I have some family members that are doing this towards me......