Ahh...relationships.

Ever find it hard to connect with someone - when after you know...you get to the point where you feel comfortable explaining to them about the surgery. And then they just don't get it - and it kind of ...after a little while tends to mess things up when after they say "oh I understand" and - then when you are placed in a situation - where if they "understood" they wouldn't react in a way that just frustrates you because you can't change the fact that sometimes for example - you might have to vomit...well I don't want to hear "wow, thats so disgusting" - even if it's a joke...it's like ok and? Just ugh, tends to ruin things when people don't get it - if you accept them for who they are, when most of the time - they have flaws but since there more "defined" then gastric bypass there ok. But when your "flaw" is something out of the ordinary...people seem to just not get it. Or -  just won't take the time to understand.

OoOo goodness sorry about that; but you must already know that regardless of the situation if a person can not truly accept everything then you shouldn't spend time worry about things messing up. The "right" person will not only see no flaws they will see perfect imperfections. It's true!

 There are people out there who will understand and accept.  It may take a little while to find them, but they are there.  

The people you meet, like you discribe, don't really sound worth your time.  It's sad when people are too self involved and so worried about what other's think, they forget the so-called important people in their lives.  

Don't consider yourself flawed...you are far from.  You did something to help yourself be a better person and anyone who can't see that and accept what comes with it is the one who is flawed.  

~Emily~

"life is like a dick, when its hard - FCUK IT :-D

ahah i read that somewhere once, yeah as the others said...lifes too short to be worriing about petty people. Sourround yourself with postive people, you'll find someone who will accept you for you. I know its hard but hang in there mate

keep your chin up
xoxo

hahahahahah LMAO!!! I love your comment! hahahah i `just can´t stop laughing..
u are soo right

That actually ruined a potential relationship for me.  He made a comment about those having surgery only doing it for vanity reasons.  Then went on and on and on about the costs and gaining everything back- this was before I informed him of my eating limitations as he ordered the King's Catch or whatever at Red Lobster.  It was a pricy dinner for him as he ate alone, oops!

Regarding your personal issue, someone who can't accept tha***** bitty flaw that rarely shows its ugly head is not worth your time.  Believe me, I've been through alot of time wasters and still breathing and dancing the night away.  Those that are worth our time will be there through the pain and vomit and even do the Cupid's Shuffle in the middle of rush hour :)

lol (I love me some Shuffle, so had to pop that in there)
Good luck, hun.

It is bad when that happens, I've only had to deal with it with people I've become friends with b/c the BF and I have been together since before the surgery but I do remember the first time I thought I was going to vomit he got a little grossed out but then while I was in the bathroom he brought me a clean washcloth.  Some people can redeem themselves, some people can't.  Some people are worth our time, some people are not.  I met a girl and I thought we could be good friends but when she found out I had the surgery she was very negative and I just had to let her go.  We can't have these negative people in our lives.  We have done something good for ourselves and only some of our friends and family can accept it and of course each other.  You are a special person, and one day you will find someone that won't care about your so called "flaw", until then just enjoy life and surround yourself with good people :)

I think it's easier to explain the surgery to people after you've lost a good amount of weight.  I've encountered no negativity at this point.  But it's hard for someone to put you down when you tell them you've lost 100lbs, you know?

A lot of my coworkers who are overweight have actually approached me for info because they are now considering the surgery themselves.  I think it's good to share information about what you've gone through and raise awareness.

Its hard I know. I was hanging out with my bf and his friends and we could hang out anymore because I wasn't feeling well. Which sucked. But there people out there that only think at face value. there are others who don't and who will accept that you had surgery and think you are amazing b/c of how much weight you have lost. And care about when you vomit but not b/c you are ruining the fun but b/c they are worried you are okay. There is someone out there for everyone.

Hey Rebbecca, I've hit my goal - and still find it hard, I mean - I look sooo much different in pictures - but I lost so much weight in such a short time...my mind still thinks I still look the same as pre-surgery, I mean I lost sooo much in less then 2 years - and when I see the pictures, it's like I see the difference - but only for the first few seconds. But yea a lot of co workers have asked me for info as well - and I love helping people and giving them info and I am so proud and happy about the surgery. It seems theres just somethings I still need to work on - I think...like in all honesty - men are always looking for women, some for relationships - some because there pigs. But growing up with 4 older sisters - I know mature women...they are looking for someone they respect, trust, grow with, and just fall in love with - and start a relationship. And I feel like as odd is this might seem though...that men since they are such dogs - seem to not care as much about the whole situation...but since females are so dissecting - they tend to have more issues with it. Don't know - just theory.