ever feel like...

your mind is so much older then your age? It's almost like sometimes in a sense I feel being where I previously was ended up being a blessing. It's like for such a young age - I feel so much wiser then 21. It seems the experiences I've been through helped me not just to mature...but also to be much more sensible to reality - and understanding it considerably more then previously. It's odd - because I use to feel old physically & young emotionally - now I feel young physically & old emotionally...pretty odd.

but otherwise I had another question -...lately I've been extremely confused...problem is I don't even know what is confusing me. Anyone ever go through this? Almost like I understand everything else but myself - you ask me to learn something...it's almost second nature - I understand instantly. 

But I don't understand "me" - I can't pinpoint what I'm trying to figure out. I know how I mirror on the outside to the rest of the world - and I am extremely fine with that. But I can't figure out what I am not understanding about myself...because when I think about what I'm trying to figure out every question I have I know the answer - I don't know...just don't know whats up with it - but it is stressing me out lately...physically and emotionally. 

Weird... I know exactly what you're talking about.

yes little grasshopper, we understand...wax on wax off.... :-D

maybe you've come to a crossroads in your life, maybe you're going throuhgh a quarter life crisis...maybe it time to challenge those boundaries...go travelling, go jump off a bridge, time to go live a little maybe. Its hard you feel like everyone knows wehre tehyre going and what not and you're stuck...i think on some level we all feel like that at some point in our lives. If you're really stressing maybe you should seek out some sort of counselling...it might be helpful :-S keep in touch i just want you to know you're not alone and if you ever want to talk, just holla!! lol i should stop being gangsta

Not like struggling, I'm happier then ever before. It's just - like I'm missing something. And that whole traveling thing can be thrown out the window - my job is extremely demanding and during times like this...not risking that haha. But - I mean, let me put it this way...I don't do the whole support group thing - I got my parents, I got 4 older sisters, my niece, same circle of friends since kindergarten, and my god son. I mean let me put it this way...I had my surgery - surgeon is probably honestly one of the best in the country in my opinion operating wise - but I only went back for 2 check up visits...haha cause I had a bleeding ulcer - and I was at work one night - and I had been puking blood and ...having blood come out every other way for about a week. But I was stubborn and didn't say anything to anybody - which will never happen again. I was scared...but like I always worried more for everyone else then myself before I learned a lot - but to make a long story short - I was at work puking massive amounts of blood - the EMT's come - and they go to call my surgeons emergency number...and he told them sorry he didn't know who I was. I mean I had a bleeding ulcer - and thats all fixed...but it was scary was pretty bad there for awhile but regardless at that point I just took it upon myself - to get all my blood work done with my family doctor and learn all I can about the surgery and I have had no problems my blood pressure is consistently perfect. My vitamin levels fine - I feel great - I'm a gymaholic...before work, after work, even during lunch since my job has a gym in the office...and I just - I'm happy :) - just missing something...and if I don't know what I'm missing doubt someone else will - one of those cross rodes you have to figure out yourself...also I'm a guy - it's not in my resume to be able to reach out...haha 

I know what you mean, that you get everything else around you and not yourself. I've totally been there. I still am sort of there. I think its part of creating a new person. I mean all of us have or are going to lose a significant amount of weight. For me it was more then my older sister weighs. So in a way I lost a person. Now I am gaining a person in rediscovering who I am. I think we all have to do that and it takes a while. A lot of things I couldn't do before I can do now. It just almost completely changes who I was and now I need to find out where I went. Bring her back. I think maybe you need to find where he went and bring him back. I know you have this big support system. So do I but it seems that with all these people around us I can still feel alone. Thats why I come here and talk to people or just reading posts. It says to me hey im not alone and there are people here that went through what I am going through and gone through.
I hope that helps.