Sex appeal? 'scuse me while I fidget awkwardly

hey everyone- if you've noticed my absense, I have been in New Orleans for the weekend, and my computer power cord died so it's hard for me to get on my computer now. Anyway, I wanted to toss around some ideas with y'all.

I have never dated anyone. I hooked up with my best friend when we were both 11-12, and then I became a Christian and gave up fooling around and he came out as a homosexual and stopped wanting it. Since then I've been really spastic about being touched- even my sn (aphephobic friend) is sorta a joke on that (aphephobia= fear of being touched). It's lessened a lot since then, but I'm still awkward when it comes to my body, and the thought of people being attracted to it. I've kissed two guys in college but they weren't guys I was interested in, it just sorta happened.

All that back story to say, I went to Louisiana this weekend, and both nights I had a guy who kinda puppy dog followed me around with my friends. The first guy I was kinda into, the second not so much, but the overwhelming sense I had was, "Man, the physical stuff is making me so uncomfortable so quickly!" I mean, in general I was more at ease- moving is easier, dancing is better, I'm more confident... but in this, I feel stuck.

So, I guess I'm wondering if any of y'all had this problem and how you've been dealing? I think maybe if I didn't meet guys at bars there would be less immediacy to the question, and perhaps the slower pace would make it easier. but did y'all just suck it up and kiss/have sex/whatever a few times until you felt comfortable? any suggestions or ideas? I probably won't be having sex, due to my moral beliefs, but I'm so down for losing the awkwardness! 

thanks for being such an awesome support team, hope y'all all had great valentines weekends!

Ann

Ann~ Hmm this is a toughie cuz everyone is very different in how they react to "intimate" type of situations where affection is involved.  If I wasn't so comfortable and wanted to slow the pace down, I'd probably turn my face to the side where all they'd get is my cheek and hope they'd get the hint.  I wouldn't just suck it up and give in, I do know that.  I am glad to hear you are so strong in your moral beliefs and that will help you a lot in handling these type of situations.  I think the more confidence you continue to gain (as you said you are getting more and more confident), the easier knowing what to do will be.  I am hear if you need someone to talk to from a little bit older standpoint.  *hugs*

~ Renae

hey ann. i totally understand you in this one. i also having trouble with the guys issues. every time we go out to a club and guys wanna talked to me i do talk to them but after a couple of minutes i just push them away some how.( i think that is the symdrome." why does he wanna talked to me if i`m fat") `cuz i still feel kindda unconfortable sometimes with my self. soo ithink we just have to get use to it.. lol. I`m catholic and i also have strong moral beliefs so you are not alone in that issue lol.
guess i see you around girlie.
hugs
mariana.

Don't think of them as potential boyfriends... think of them as friends, that usually helps me.  If something evolves, it does on my terms.

Its crazy how a couple of pounds can make such a huge difference in the amount of attention you get! At first it made me really uncomfortable but now I'm kinda addicted to it. I don't think thats a good thing though. I'm still learning to just be comfortable in my own skin. I think its just a growing thing. Youre a hottie its no wonder so many guys are off chasing you!

thanks for the support y'all. It's a frustrating phenomenon but maybe it'll get better? my psychologist didn't seem to have any ideas for me, but jaci you are right that things can evolve from friendships. I guess I'd rather they not, because I dont like risking established friendships, but I'm trying to be more openminded about things, and I'll try to include that. tennille, you are too sweet, thanks ;)