Dating Before Surgery

Okay, have any of you guys felt like someone is showing interest in you because they know that you are going to be having surgery soon and won't be the 'fat girl' for too much longer? 

Heres a little background on my situation.  When I was in high school, I was chubby, but MUCH smaller than I am now.  My brother is 4 1/2 years older than me...making all of his friends 4-6 years older than me (which now at 26 isn't a problem, but back at 16 or 17 kind of was).  There were a couple of his friends that I was interested in back then, especially this one guy in particular.  We always flirted back and forth but he always told me I was too young and because my brother was his friend, it just wasn't going to happen.  Fast forward like 10 years and you come to now.  I saw him a few months ago at a party at my brother's house.  This guy was with girlfriend at the time.  In front of his girlfriend, he would make comments about my age & different things, but whenever we were alone in the house, he would kind of flirt like he use to.  Two days ago I was at my brother's house for a birthday party for my niece and this guy was there.  This time--very much single.  He made a point to say that he wanted to go to dinner and asked for my number.  So we exchanged numbers.  He had to leave the party for a bit (it was also his birthday that day), but wanted to make sure that I was still going to be there when he got back.  He even sent me a text message on his way back to the house to be sure that I was still there.  I was and ended up staying there for a while longer--visiting with him & other guests.  He continued to flirt most of the evening, but then dropped the bomb that my brother told him I was having surgery.  I was incredibly embarrassed by this fact.  Not because I am having RNY, but because it was something I wanted to share when I felt right about it with whomever I am dating.  And it also draws attention to the fact that I am heavy--which I always like to just ignore.  My brother didn't mean harm and didnt' realize that it would bother me.  Anyway, this guy has been texting me the last couple of days letting me know that he has interest and always has.  And now that we are older--the age isn't an issue anymore--blah blah blah. 

I guess what I'm trying to ask in this extremely long post is--did anyone feel like someone was showing interest in them right before surgery because they knew the wouldn't be the 'fat girl' for too much longer?  Or ever question anyones intentions prior to or after surgery?  I appreciate the insight as I try to sort out what I want to do with this!  Thanks!! 

I honestly don't think he's showing an interest in your because you soon will no longer be the "fat girl" - I think he has a general interest in you. I don't have any brothers but was extremely close with my cousin when we were growing up - he was more like a brother than a cousin. He's 3 years older than me, so naturally I crushed on his friends, who looked at me as "Derick's little cousin, I touch her I die." I'm sure that's what your brothers friend was thinking growing up. If he flirted with you back then - then there must have been an interest. I say give the guy a break and see how it goes. Contrary to popular belief - there are guys out there that don't go based on looks alone - they actually go for what is inside. Sounds like you might have found one.

Wow, this sound like a Cinderella story in the making! I say since he was interested before, he can still be interested now. You need to give yourself some credit, cuz you probably are a great person, and beautiful too. I dont think this guy is trying to be with you cuz he knows your having the surgery, all tho it does sound like he cares for you and he may end up being a great support!
I say as long as he isnt like jobless and living at home with his mom, and playing video games all day, then hey, it may turn out to be a great thing!!

Best wishes!

Jeannie

Take a chance.  He might have just brought it up to let you know that he knows.  And like the other girls said, if he was interested before then he can be interested now.  Just see if you even still like him, you know over time people do change. 

Thanks girls!  I am taking it one day at a time and making sure that the interest is still there on my side as well.  I do feel a little better about the situation and am going to take it one step at a time.  Thanks!!

Oh--and he is totally not jobless or living in his mother's basement!  lol

I didnt read your entire post just the first paragraph - I wanted to say this.... anybody you are interested in now you will more than likely not be interested in once you lose weight - no matter how much people think/say they wont change - you will, it doesnt have to be drastic but there will be small changes that come along with the weightloss as well as your new (healthy) outlook on life.
My suggestion is to not get into anything serious right now... this surgery is for YOU and you NEED to be *selfish* for at least the first year post-op... YOU will have to come first and YOUR needs and what YOU need to do.. relationships are a lot of work and can be draining... this surgery is a lot of work and can be draining - so focus on whats important right now, you and let the rest fall into place.

hey erin, I`ve definidly had felt this but after surgery like boy that did not noticed me before they are now. but  ther is a couple of male friends that I`ve told them "you lost your chance. haha. `cuz you did not noticed me before", haha i know that`s not good to say but i did. (don´t do that)

about that guy. give him a chance he did not know abut your surgery. I think he is honest.
good luck with that.

hugs.

mariana.

I'm just gonna be the black sheep of the group and say I feel differently. I wonder if you really are someone he's interested in, or (this might sound harsh) a fall-back or a 2nd choice. I know I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who kinda strings me along but remains uncommitted or committed to someone else. If he'd flirt with you while he was dating, he'll flirt with others while you're dating. And if he's that into the ego-boost of girls giving him attention that he would defraud a girls emotions, then I think he isn't worthy of your time. That's a lot of opinion based on a limited explanation of behavior, but feel free to tell me I'm totally wrong.

In regards to the weight issue, I think it's different based on who the girl is and who the guy is. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt if I don't know, but I also think if I'm honest, that I will be more attractive after surgery so I shouldn't be completely furious that people who weren't interested are. But I can see how it might.... I haven't been there yet, so I guess we'll see

Thanks guys!  i appreciate all of the different insight and have taken it all into consideration.  Glad to know I have people that may have dealt with this in the past to seek advice from.  thanks!!