dating help

  Ok so... I am doing the whole online dating thing... I don't really go to bars etc to meet ppl and I just don't meet ppl at school or work.  Anyway I am talking to thug guy... and he wants to meet.  But at a month out I am not sure what to suggest as a date option and I am not good at dating... I haven't had a date since high school... and ugh I just want to take the plunge but I don't know where to begin, where to go, or even what to do on a date... someone HELP please!

amber,

first off, I think it's brave for you to want to jump into the dating world- for sure it can be daunting. I've had a limited amount of experience myself, but I would say most importantly is taking things at your pace. most friends who have internet dated said it takes a little while to be able to weed out the losers from the decent guys. I read something once that said after a couple of dates to try to meet his friends- often it can bring his dating facade right to a crumble, and you will be able to tell more about him from who he chooses to hang out with too. Also, I'm a big fan of group dates- bringing eachother into your social circles. good luck!

HEY amber, i think is great you are starting to date, and wanna meet new people. about what kindda date you should go (because all dates are about food hahaha) don´t know i guess you have 2 options.
1. tell him the truth. that you had surgery. and you can eat out of home.(u don´t have to tell what kind if you don´t want)
2. go bowling or something like that, or play pool. or have some coffe. and you can have an smotthie or somehting like that. but don´t go to the movies `cuz never is a good place to a 1th date.
good luck girl
hugs.
mariana.

1 word: karaoke  :)

as a serial online dater I would strongly advise you to spend ALOT of time talking to this guy both online and on the phone, I've made the mistake of meeting after only talking for a couple days and UGH...was that stupid!? Chances are if this is your first atempt at online dating this first guy or two won't be the "him" for you. take your time, talk to LOTS of different guys. Do your research!! as for a good date spot...be sure to make it somewhere public. a bowling ally or skateing rink would be fun and you wouldn't be pressured to eat alot. Another idea would be to go to a "make your own pottery" store or an arcade, depending on the guy and your tastes. Have fun!! and let us know how it goes!!

Don't be scared, just take it easy.  If you don't do a group date meet him at a public place.  You can go bowling, skating, mini golfing or something like that.  It may be easier to go ahead and tell him abou the surgery so you won't have to answer alot of awkward questions.  But Mariana is right, don't do the movies b/c you'll feel weird sitting next to this practical stranger for two hours trying your best not to brush against his arm or leg or something.  I tried online dating a long time ago, we met for dinner, at a bar early in the evening and just had a drink, at starbucks for a coffee, bowling.  Just go with the flow and don't do anything that you think will make you feel uncomfortable.  Good Luck!

I met my husband through online dating 3 years ago and he was the first and only one I talked too.. LOL. We met at my house, but I had a cousin with me just in case he was a weirdo but after dinner we dropped her and her boyfriend off and spent 5 more hours together. It was great... Now it feels like centuries ago. I didnt ever really date much before but when I did I was really good at it because ive always been social. I suggest trying coffee, I know its hard and you dont want guys to go a running but, I think up front honesty is the best thing. You dont want to invest a bunch of time and effort into getting to know someone and then they find out you had this surgery and it freaks them out and whatever.. Just have fun with it and it will be fine!

I would pick something easy and low key like a coffee shop... that keeps the meeting short and sweet and there is no food involved - starbucks has a lot of options w/teas and whatnot so you can easily find something to drink. Plus you always always always want to meet in an open public place. Other options would be at a book store, like Barnes and Nobles, at the mall etc... I would make it more of a 'meet up' than a date since dates typically are more revolved around drinking/eating/being stuck together for a longer period of time. Plus keeping it short will allow you to get your feet wet and get use to going out etc.
As a suggestion I would check out meetup.com and meetin.org, not sure if there are groups in your area but you can find dating and non-dating activity groups... they post events and you can go and meet people in a group setting so its more relaxed... I attend a lot and even at the bar ones people who do not drink still go to hang out and listen to the music etc. Another good way to get your feet wet - since all of you are there with a 'group' people are less shy and more open because you all automatically have a common group with the group.

OK...well I'm gonna be the bad person...hate me if you want, but I look back now and wish someone would of told me this. I date more people who I've met online then I meet in person, but Amber, I have to be honest with you....I think you already know not to go. Yes its fun and exciting and its new, but you said so yourself....Thug guy? What does that mean? SOOOO many people ignore the little red flags early on because it is something new and exciting and they just want it to happen, but....those lil red flags aren't going to go anywhere, they're just gonna pop their ugly head later on.

I could be wrong, and be making an fool out of myself. But I want you to seriously think about this, spend some time getting to know him...it can't hurt...

 sorry i didnt know what u were talkin about cos that is a typo lol it is supposed to say this