H E L P ! ! ! !

Hey guys, I'm having bf problems and to be honest I have no clue what to do! OK... so this is what’s going on-- He just started going to this crazy school (I mean CRAZY!) He can only use the phone for 1 hour per day, I don’t think he can use the computer at all, He needs to be in the dorm by 10:00, I can’t go in the dorm  at all (EVER!) and its like 2 hours away! (I told you this school was freaking crazy!) So we never talk or see each other anymore... I mean I really thought I’d be able to deal with it but i just cant I feel like I’m going crazy... He gets jealous wicked easy (not that I should talk so do I... I have trust issues) so when we do talk we just fight and pick each other apart.   He says he loves me... but I just don’t believe him (I’m not sure why I just don’t… I mean how do you tell if someone really loves you?) I'm not sure about how I feel about him... I mean sometimes I feel like I love him other times I don’t... is that normal or am I just crazy (I mean if I’m not sure how I feel that has to mean I don’t love him. If you really love someone you know right?) On another note part of me feels like I’m to good for him (I know that’s wicked bad and wrong to feel that way but I cant help it) I'M SO LOST AND CONFUSED!!!!! (And yes I know this has nothing to do with wls but you guys give such great advice on that I thought maybe you'd have good advice now!) 

How long have you two been dating? Because mixed emotions are a HUGE factor when you've been dating someone for a while and you think its time to let them go. You hold on to memories, creating the person you WANT them to be with those memories. They're tricky! I know this! A person can consume themselves with the good memories, and the NOW and the reality of everything slowly slips away and soon you've created this utopia of a relationship. You seriously need to try to sit down and see the relationship from an observer's point of view. I know that's so much easier said than done. Just try to seperate memories from reality. Once you get that straightened out in your mind, you will be able to make a much better decision, whatever it is... I hope my rambling makes sense! :)

OMG... that makes so much sense! As so as i read that i was lik holy crap shes right. Just like you said I'm hold on to memories, creating the person you WANT them to be with those memories.  I know what i have to do now... I think I love being in love and not really the person.

I say break up! lol, Im sooo not cupid right? Here is my view - first you are young... you had WLS almost a year ago and your life has changed and will continue to change. If you feel you are too good for him, you proally are... as time passes you will get more confidence in yourself and change the way you view yourself and others around you... you will find you will start to 'attract' different types of people than previously - not because you lost weight, but because of the energy you put off - happy attracts happy ya know? Second, he is far away and you two really dont have much of a relationship due to his school. I do NOT deal with jealously... if you have trust issues then you need to work on that - but two people who both have trust/jealously issues is just an explosion waiting to happen - since you guys have so little contact and the contact you do have is fighting/picking each other apart then thats not a healthy relationship. Also, long distance relationships are ALWAYS hard... 2 hours its an extreme distance but its far enough - I dated a guy who lived 3 hours away for a while and it was decided we were better off friends.... its too hard to deal with the distance and really not worth it.  Wouldnt you rather have a BF you can see daily? Go to the movies with? Cuddle? Talk to on the phone until you fall asleep? The old saying goes - if you love something set it free blah blah blah. You two could take a 'break'... by stepping back from the situtation you can sort your feelings out and decide if you really want to be with that person or not.

I know your right... but its almost like i dont wanna be alone or something. I know its not fair to him (or me) I know what i have to do... I'm going to tell him i want a break!  I mean if its love then we'll find out way back to eachother... I feel like i need to get to know myself, i need to be alone with no bf to see whoi really am Thanks so much for the help!

It will be easier to do now, then say a year from now when you have even more invested emotionally...Be like Nike, and "just do it!"  Life is too short, if you're not happy, don't waste any more time

Life is too short, if you're not happy, don't waste any more time--- Thats just the thing i needed to hear (or read in this case!) thats such a good point.  I mean i could really be missing out on someone thats right for me Thanks for your help!

I agree with everyone else.  If there is not trust, then why are you putting yourself through it?  You are young!  You are gonna find that person that makes your heart melt, but not if you are with someone who is obviously making you miserable.  Just the fact that you are asking others what to do, makes me feel like you already know the answer! LOL!  I am going through a simular thing right now.  My friend just told me the other day to pull up my big girl panties and just do it!  LOL!   Well Im rooting for ya!  Hope you find the answer you are looking for. 

Well everyone cant be wrong then! I just get scared.... what if i never find anyone.... what if im alone forever. What if hes the best i can get (i mena hes better then nothing! (wow i just read that back and yeah... thats not a good way to look at this.... its over with him.... its just really hit me) So tonight IF he calls me im going to pull up my big girl panties and just do it!  LOL (well there not so big anymore but you get the point!!!!!!!!)  Thank you for your help and good luck with your "simular thing"