Telling Friends??

Hey guys,  as i'm getting closer to my surgery date.... i'm starting to consider telling my friends.  When I first started looking into getting the surgery, I didn't want to tell anyone.  Just my immediate family. As its coming closer, i started to become more confident in myself and teh surgery already and i am concidering opening up to people. BUT...  I am worried that if i tell my friends, they will either disapprove of it and tell others about my situation in a negative way or, approve of it.... and then in the future become jealous and suggest i've "changed",  I know those are horrible things to think about my friends... but I've had some rough roadds with friendships in the past, and i really don't want to lose them over WLS.  So I guess this is where the question comes in, if you told your friends/family were they supportive? and did you find it helpful that you told them? thanks for your help!!!! Lara

I know exactly how you felt bc I was the same way. In the beginning I didnt want anyone to know but the farther along my journey I traveled the more I realized i needed my best friends for support! =]] Everyone is different and I think it depends alot on the type of relationship you have with your friends as to how they will take it. Mine were excited for me, but ofcourse they had lots of questions. Most people dont hear alot about the surgery, so they think it's taking the easy way out and so forth. So just explain to them all about the surgery and the enormous benefits it will have on your life!! If they care about you most likely they'll want to see you whil you in the hospital [atleast mine did] and eventually they will all come around. Looking back now I couldn't have imagined not telling them. They've helped me through so much already and I havent even had my surgery yet. They also help keep me accountable for what I eat and my exercise schedule!  I posted a question very similar to this on the message board awhile ago and got plenty of responses from the board members. Here's the URL for the Question if you want to read the responses!  Hope this helps!! Goodluck with your WLS journey and let me know how everything goes with your friends! http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_in_your_20s/a,messageb oard/action,replies/board_id,5488/cat_id,5088/topic_id,35480 18/

I chose only to tell 2 of my friends and my parents and my fiance. Thats it! {well an work obviously...they kinda figured it out when the paper work came through clearing me for time off! haha} How's this....i REGRET big time telling those two friends im not gonna lie. I never realized the jelousy that would kick in on their end! they are both  2people that i consider my best friends...known them FOREVER and a day....1 is very all american girl blonde hair blue eyes 5FT and weighs like 120lbs. HER of ALL the people in the world i would never expect to be getting the treatment  i have recieved the last maybe month or so. At first it wus GREAT. she wus there for me in teh hospital and she wus supportive of my eating habits an the whole 9yds....well NOW that i am not tooo far from her size...she always seems to throw it in my face about having the surgery and how it jus must be so easy for me blah blah blah. But its all in a NEGATIVE way, which makes me consider my "friendship" with her. and the OTHER girl....is about 5'10 and she is on the heavier side but wasnt as big as i was. And she is one of those people that no matter how awful u look in an outfit she will tell u it looks good...so she can outshine u....but now that im the skinnier one an i get more of a shock reaction when people see me...AGAIN i get the whole surgery thing thrown in my face.....I know people would really say that these people arnt ur true friends....but i think its jus a way for them to vent an be angry that luckily the weight melts off us....but **** we deserve to have compliments and be excited when u drop a size!! unlike them we havnt had that before! and its REALLLLLLY been upseting knowing how they act and throw it in my face almost to remind me that id still be the fat one if it werent for the surgery. So my advice to u is this: Dont always listen to people when they are telling u that u "need that support" group behind u...U DONT! u need a certain few people even people on here perhaps would do the trick... but be careful who ur telling if u dont want it throw in ur face at one point in time or another.

Good luck with everything let me know what u decided.

Wow, thanks for being so honest!!!! Thats seriously EXACTLY what i'm afraid of.  I'm afraid of finally (for the first time in my life) looking good, and my friends suddenly being jealous.  Almost as if they only liked having me around because I was overweight and they looked better than me.  I want to feel proud of my accomplishments, and i want my friends to be supportive of that.  I guess i'm just still debating which ones I  can really trust with this< i think its just really stereotypical for people to think we have taken the "easy way outt", when  really there is tons of work associated with it!! THANKS soooo much for your post!! It was super helpful :-)

ive told alot of my friends and family bc i am very open with them, but they are my closetst people in my life.  and like i knew that they would be supportive of me, and be there for me.  Also with the lapband if i was eating and something got stuck and i felt sick they would know why i was feeling ill.  Last night i went to dinner with a friend and i got stuck a little and she noticed my rubbing my chest and shes asked what was wrong so i explained to her about the stuck episiodes.  And she said that someone she knows was talking about getting the lapband and my friend knew more about the surgery bc i told her about it then the actual girl that was getting the surgery. but if u decide to tell people expect alot of questions bc they don't know the surgeries, and its a good way to educate people about what to expect with ur surgery. 

Being jealous is normal, but if it doesn't pass, maybe distancing yourself from them would be an option. I have told one person who is not a close friend but I started with "Not everyone agrees with me when I tell them about this. I don't expect you to agree with me, but I would really appreciate your support." I know some people have a hard time saying things directly like that which is normal. The one person that I was talking about is supportive - but I think I really took her by surprise. With my family and close friends I had information for them to view. I think that helped because there are so many questions!! I just got my surgery date today so I haven't told my principal yet - guess I should do that soon!!

This has been one of my biggest concerns since deciding on having the surgery. At first outside of family, i was only going to tell my boyfriend and one of my very good friends. I just knew i wasn't going to tell my best friend because as much as i love her- she can be a very judgemental person and has judged me in the past  (little things which were later worked out). But the further into the planning and preparing for surgery i got the more i wanted to talk to her about it and have her be a part of it. So, once i had my nutritionist appointment and got all my information printed out about how much of a lifestyle change it is and what all has to be done after surgery, i sat down with her and we talked about it. I let her know that i originally wasn't going to tell her for fear of being judged but couldn't imagine going through this without her. I made sure to have all the information so she knew it wasn't the "easy way out" and that this was simply a tool to help me better myself. She was really accepting and happy for me. However, i am interested to see how she will act after the weight starts coming off. She has struggled with her weight as well although she is quite a bit smaller than me. I just pray it doesn't backfire on me. Good luck and i hope whatever you choose turns out to be the right decision for you :)
*Courtney*