To tell or not to tell...THAT IS THE QUESTION

So  I pretty much decided I didn't want to tell my professors or employers about exactly what kind of major surgery i'm having. But My bestfriends and I don't keep secrets. We tell eachother everything. But I'm not sure if I should tell them. I don't know how they will react. =/ And if I shouldn't tell them what am I to say when they inquire about the surgery.  Anyone who has experienced telling those closest to you, please help.  Share your experiences! =]]  Plus, did anyone experience telling their pastor?!

Just my opinion but if they're your best friends, they will be supportive of YOU.  It's not about them, it's about you and your health. You are not required to tell your professors or employer, all they need to know is that you will be out for surgery for XX amount of time.  Due to the HIPPA and your privacy rights, they will not find out unless you tell them. Sorry, I can't help with the pastor thing, but I would imagine they would be there to support you and offer spiritual support for your journey

It's hard to tell people, cause there are ususally mixed reactions. most people I have told were very supportive, but there were a few surprises. Generally, everyone wanted what's best for me, I just had to have the real conversations where we talked about whether or not that was really surgery. I haven't had experience telling a pastor, but I have told some of my girls from Bible Study and a bunch of my church friends. In general, they are a less accepting bunch I think than my non-christian or non church friends. That element of it is hard. I guess I just worked to listen and to remember that really, they were mostly just concerned for me. and all of them have come around. my recommendation is to tell the ones that matters, and see how you feel. sometimes the support is addictive and helpful to continue progression. also, to help when things get hard. but if not, and/or you have a hard time getting mixed feelings, you can always decide not to keep telling people.  good luck

I had no problem shouting about my surgery from the rooftops.   My boss was EXTREMELY supportive, though I wasn't sure if she was going to be.  All of the coworkers I told were also very supportive.  The only person I had issues with was my dad.  My mom and little sister had the surgery 3 and 4 years ago.  When my sister told my dad, he was not very excited.  He didn't think the surgery was a good idea.  In turn, I was terrified.  I actually put it off through my 6mo preop diet, and until I got final approval from my insurance company.  When I did tell him, I was shocked by his reaction.  He is very supportive, and happy about my decision.  Good luck in whatever you decide to do, but remember, we ALWAYS tend to think the worst about things.

Hi, Holly! Pre-op the only people who knew I was having the surgery were my parents and my room mate. I had to tell the room mate, since she'd obvs see me coming home from surgery. There is a real stigma on our surgery, unforch. I chose not to announce it because I didn't want anyone trying to talk me out of it. I had heard so many stories of people's friends and family questioning the surgery, I knew if that happened to me, I'd back out. Post-op I told the rest of my family and my best friends. There are still only a handful of people who know. It makes me cringe when I hear people discuss the surgery and call it the "easy way out". It is those times I'm happy they don't know I had it, they can't judge me, but I'm also sad because I want to scream at them and defend the procedure. All that being said, if someone asks me straight out, I won't lie to them. I  have only lied to one person and that was an ex who was just being cruel. But that is a whole different story. Haha! On a different note...I'm so sick of people saying "Well, so and so is having gastric bypass, but I don't know how I feel about that. I don't really believe in that." I want to punch those people in the head because, A) It doesn't matter how YOU feel! You aren't the one having the surgery, you jerk! And...9 times out of 10, you aren't and never have been obese! And B) What do you mean you don't "believe" in the surgery??? It exisits, thousands of people have had it. Idoits. Sorry about the rant at the end. It is just something that has been driving me crazy. Take care and good luck on your surgery! L

I told people about my surgey who I cared about and I knew cared about me - I needed their support. Even if somebody doesnt support your decision, if they care about you they should support you no matter what. Be prepared that people wont do the happy dance when you tell them - sometimes it takes a little time for them to get use to the idea. If your friends are overweight it can be especially hard because there is the problem of jealously. I chose to tell my boss about the surgery, I also told her to please not tell anybody else about it. I chose to tell her because if I had complications or needed additional time off work I wanted her to understand why. I went back to work only a few days after surgery, she pretty much let me work based off how I felt - I could leave early/come in late, take a longer lunch if I needed it until I felt better. Even if you dont want to tell your direct boss you may consider telling HR, they cannot repeat what you tell them in confidence so it may be a good idea in case your boss gives you a rough time.

I had all good experiances with telling people about my surgery. I had my surgery last November, so i was in school, and I decided to tell my teachers. I didnt really care what they thought about it or not. But all my teachers were supportive and 2 of them were almost more excited then I was. lol. I have been talking about having my rny since I was 16, so my friends have heard a lot about it. But when I told them I was having it they were totally excited!!! They were very supportive and everything.
I also told my Pastor and he was also supportive of it. He understood why I was having it done and I explained the process and he was happy for me.
I think if they are the right kind of friends and the right kind of Pastor, they will be supportive of your surgery and be happy for you!
Hope it all goes well!!

I told everyone at work after I came back from surgery- just so they wouldn't think I was smoking crack, losing the weight so quick. My family I told before surgery- and I explained everything to them- Sent them all an e-mail with all the links to the surgeon website, hospital website, and this website- so if they wanted they could do there own research.

LOL!!!!!!!!!  I told my co-workers for the same reason.  I didnt want them to think I was on the pipe.  But I wasnt going to tell many people but then I thought about it and I felt like lets get this out of the way and see how people really feel and weed some people out, I must say I have gotten a great response.  But now my mother and family are in a different category.  They arent supportive and believe I should just stop eating.  OOOOKKKKKKKK.  My dad, cousins and sister in law are pretty much the only supportive people in my family.  I have heard some of the stupidest comments known to man.  From you wont be able to have kids to having a kidney infection.  My mother insists on finding every nursing assistant known to man to back up her claim that the surgery is bad.  I just say be sure before you tell because you cannot take it back.

My grandpa was my pastor at the time of my WLS so yeah, he knew lol And I tell anyone and everyone who asks. It just makes life much less complicated and I have had only a handful of negative reactions, and usually they come around eventually (with the exception of my grandmother, but that is just the type of person she is...so yeah...anyway) If my best friend had WLS and didn't tell me I would be hurt because she didn't trust me enough to support her and I missed out on the opportunity to be there for her.