OT - But I need to vent!

So I am a serial blogger....... but this is about a friend of mine so I can't blog on myspace about it, but I need to get it off my chest. Hope you don't mind. Here goes: One of my dearest friends in the whole wide world drives me batty with her indecisiveness. Can I just say that indecisive people **** me off! Maybe that is because I have always been able to make decisions with ease, so I just can't empathize. Anyways...this friend of mine is constantly asking me for my opinion. She usually will always do that exact opposite of whatever I say, but on the rare occasion that she follows my advice, she later whines and moans that it was the wrong decision. It is driving me batty! I feel like I need to confront her or it is going to start affecting our friendship, but it already is because I am starting to resent her. I refuse to give her advice now. I shrug and say its your decision. But a piece of advice I dropped a few weeks ago is beginning to haunt me now. *ick* She is 21 and still lived at home. She was miserable and complained all the time about how she wanted to get her own place but couldn't afford it. I saw an ad in the teacher's lounge at work for an efficiency apartment for $175 a month and e-mailed her the number several weeks back. She never mentioned it and I had forgotten about it, until last week when she called me all excited telling me she was moving there. Now this place is 45 minutes from her family, which is what I thought she wanted....to get away. But last night was her first night in her new place and tonight she stopped over to complain that she thinks she made a mistake, she is lonely, misses her family, and thinks she might have made the decision in haste. Oh great! Its all my fault because I suggested it, but I was sick of hearing her tell me how unhappy she was still living at home. I cannot win!!!

Kendralynn - I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm a planner by nature and occupation. I have a really hard time understanding indecisive people. I've always been one to make a decision and act on immediately. Interestingly enough, that is how I got my RNY done. Ha! I have a similar friend. I constantly offer advice and she rarely takes it. When she does, something inevitably goes wrong. I used to assume she blamed me, but I got tired of feeling guilty. Now I do a lot of nodding and smiling. And in the rare case I do offer advice I trust myself that it was good advice and that if it isn't going well, she must not have followed it exactly. Haha! Unfortunately, I have no doubt it has affected our relationship. I don't think there was any way for it not to. Friendships and relationships aren't static things, though. They're constantly growing and changing. I've learned that this is just a changed relationship. The bad thing is, I think she's making some really bad decisions for her life. I have a hard time respecting her because of some of the decisions she's made. Does that mean our friendship is growing apart? Maybe, but I'll be there if she needs me. That's all we can do. Just be supportive, but don't blame yourself. Remember, all you did was offer advice, not force her into a decision. Hope that helps! L

I know! When I made the decision to have WLS there was absolutely no turning back, and some peope sure tried! Once I make up my mind I go full speed and never look back. I just hope she learns to love it here, because I will feel guilty otherwise, and she may drive me nuts since I am at this time the only person she knows in this town!

As Bill Cosby once said, "A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice."

Ha ha! Thats a good one. Yeah I'm not much on advice. Unless I seek it out, don't offer.

wow she sounds alot like my best friend.....haha i hope its not the same person!! {i know its not im jus saying} ill let u know now....there is NEVER any winning!!!! ive learned to just kinda stop tryin to make decisions for her....."idk" is always a good answer for me now...cuz im sick of the whinning that comes along with her decision AFTERWARDS about how she shoullllld have listend....so yea. completly understand what ur saying....and no matter how many times u bring it to her attention...it will not matter so dont waste ur breath

Oi! She called me to say that last night she got so homesick that she started bawling and drove to her parents at 10 PM & stayed the night and she is staying there again tonight. I am 3 years older than her...and really feel it right now. I am like what the hell? I love my family, but puh-lease. Am I being insensitive? I just don't get it. She finally got what she wanted. She was always moaning about how miserable she was at her parents and now she is even more miserable. I don't get it. I really don't. I am just going to try and be there for her and shut my trap, because I am beyond annoyed right now.