For parents of children under 6 yrs old - RE: I'm Scared!!!

I have seen my surgeon already and have been approved for RNY WLS. I am happy. Don't get me wrong. However, I am scared that if I have the surgery I may never wake up and see my sweet Ashleigh again. So, my question(s) to all of you out there is, how did you decide to have RNY WLS and what complications have you had? Knowing what you know now, would you have still had WLS?  When did you stop being nervous about having WLS? I am hoping to get some responses from young parents with young children.  I am married and 26 years old.  My daughter is 5 and in Kindergarten.  I live in Novato CA. I appreciate all of your responses.  I know that each person has to make the decision to have WLS their own. I just want to know what helped you decide to go through with it. My surgeon told my husband and I that -  The death rate for the surgery at Kaiser Richmond was less that .5%.  Kaiser Richmond has been awarded for their accomplishments in WLS. Only 3 given in state of CA. My risk is very Very VERY low.  Because I am young and have no Co-Morbidities I should have no side-effects. With that all being said, I am still a bit nervous. I don't want to miss her or my husband, Thank you all for taking the time to read my post. I hope you give a reply. Thanks AGAIN! Sara chunkymonkeylopez Novato, CA

Hi Sara! I'm also pre-op and while I have no children of my own yet, I do have a husband and a 3 year old nephew. I helped my sister raise him, so he's almost like my own. I completely understand what you're going through. It makes me sick to think about how he would deal if something happened to me. It's all very scary.    However, I'm also in the same shoes as you in that I am only 23, and I have no co-morbidities. So I'm really not expecting complications.    Please just know that you having this surgery could be giving you more years with your family in the long run.     Good luck! -Miki

(my personal view, i am preop with no kids but i do have my family that i don't wanna loose so this is how i handle the surgery, it kinda helps with not being so afraid.)  I think that if its your time to die its your time to die... weather you are sleeping on the surgery table or driving in a car.  personally thats my view and personal belief so thats how i can go on with my surgery. take care ~Lacey

I am 24 and have a 2 year old son and husband. I based my decision on the fact that I would rather be healthy and be there for my family than be unhealthy and useless to them.  I also agree with the above, that if it's your time, it's your time.  I was about to take up motorcycling right before surgery so I accept all the risks in life (I'm waiting til my finances are in better shape).  Finally, my surgeon has a 0% mortality rate and ha only had 1 complication (patient's fault, took asprin before surgery).  I felt extremely comfortable with him and his skills. I understand your fear, it's very real.  I am only 3 weeks out but have had absolutely NO complications and could not have asked for it to be better.  I would do it in a heartbeat.  My surgeon's record and my belief that I have no control over my time to die made me feel at ease with my decision.

I also am pre-op.  I am 22 years old and have a 5 year old daughter and a 7month old son.  I have been battling with the idea of WLS for over 4 years.  I would decide to do it then i would chicken out and become determined that I can do it on my own.  Well 4 years later and well over 10,000 dollars later I have pretty much exhausted all my options.  I'm not saying I have given into defeat, because trust me, I haven't, but I have accepted the fact that some of us need help to lose and maintain our weightloss, and I fall into that category. I decided to go through with this this time around because of my daughter.  She looked at me last fall when we were at the park and said "mommy, why do you always tell daddy to play with me, I want YOU to play with me too" I then began to cry and had to explain to her that I was too big for the equipment and as much as I would like to play I couldn't.  She hugged me and told me she loved me anyway, but then went back to her "friends" she had met that day that were right around her age and told them I couldn't play because I was too big for the playground, and for those of you that have xperienced this, its horrible, they then began making fun of me and it made her cry and she ran over to me and wanted to go home....because of MY inability to play, SHE is suffering. I don't want this to happen ever again, I dont want my son to ever experiece it and I want to be healthy and play with them and watch them grow. Basically I am doing this for my family, and my daughter has been warned of the outcomes.  I just sat her down and explained that when and if *havent got approval yet* mommy has to go away for surgery its so I can get better and play with her, but if mommy doesn't come back its because god decided that he needed me back in heaven and I would be an angel watching over her just like her "nene" *great grandma*. It was a hard conversation to have, but she now knows what to expect and although she is scared she wants to be able to enjoy me as a mommy more and still wants me to try to "get better". Hope that helps.

Thank you all for responding to my post. I know that every person has to make this decision on their own and that every person has their own reasons for saying YES or NO to going through with the surgery. I know that if I continue going the way I am I will end up like over half of my family; super obese and way to many health issues for their age. My own father is a walking time bomb and 99% of his issues are directly related to his weight.  He is not as obese as other people in my family. He weighs about 200-250. I originally weighed in at 227.5 when I started down my WLS journey. I have several family members, some alive and some dead, who weighed over 400LBS. So, this is the main reason why I want to have the surgery. It scares me to think that I could get that big or that I could have the horrible health issues they all have.  As of right now, the only issues I have are Pain and I had Gestational Diabetis during my pregnancy in 2002.  I also have some issues with irregular Blood Pressures. Sometimes normal, sometimes high and often LOW. My Bad cholesterol is good but my Good cholesterol is bad. LOL = My Trygleceroids are off the chart.  This is how my dad started. He has had 6 Heart Attacks and about 5 Angina's or "baby" Heart attacks. My dad turns 50 in April!  He is also Diabetic and has so many other health issues that he has to take so many pills for every day. I know that growing up my dad did not participate in my life as much as my mom. My mom weighs about 130-140. I just want to make sure that my daughter remembers me playing with her and spending time with her, when she gets older and looks back on her life.  I would love it if it were possible for me to know how I will be after surgery. Then, I could decide if I want to go through with it. LOL Wishful thinking on my part! Well thanks again for the responses. I love to chat with people who are around my age and who are dealing with the same issues as me.  The people in the support group I attend are over 30. Most over 50. So, I have some questions that they can't answer because their children are my age. I hope you all have a wonderful night! I am sure I will chat with you all tomorrow! Sara onechunkymonkey Novato, CA

I'm 21 and have 3 yr old daughter. The way I looked at it was, Shes full of energy and I wasnt. She can run up the stairs and I couldn't, etc, etc. I'M ONLY 21!!!! I felt like I was in the body of a 50 yr old. My daughter didn't deserve that. So I did it mainly for her, so I will be around when she gets married, and has children, etc. I dont think I stopped being nervous until I woke up from surgery, then again I didn't become nervous until 2 days prior to surgery. Listen to your surgeon, do everything he tells you. Dont cheat, and you will be fine!!

Thank your for the input.  I do feel the same way. It is not that I can't keep up with her, it's that I am too tired to even try. I am hoping to get ENERGY more than anything from this surgery. I am sure that Iwill get lots of that!

As for not being nervous, I think my nervousness comes and goes. I know that on the day of surgery I will be very nervous. I will be to out of it when I wake up to even think about being nervouss.

Thanks again!

Sara