Friends?

Usually when I have issues... I blog on myspace.  But sadly, I feel if I were to blog there, numerous people would feel hurt- so you guys get to be my ears. Generally I'm a happy go lucky person.  I want everyone to get along, I want fun in life... I want to live.  Before my surgery... I was a shell.  Nothing but emptiness and pain inside, but the happy jolly mask was always on. Since the surgery, I've come to realize just who are my friends and who are just there to mooch off of me.  Today, was a day of even more realization. A friend (we were best friends for quite some time) had a baby shower today.  With her shower, more high school friends came out of the woodwork.  Out of the eight that were there, two of us were NOT pregnant or already have a child.  OF the eight present, ONE was married.  One of the HS acquaintances is four years younger! That aside.  I couldn't shake this weird feeling about not belonging.  I felt as if everyone had moved on with their lives... they stayed together with whatever they do.  One person was the only chick I felt matured enough to maybe hang out more.  Maybe that is the issue- maturity. But while at the shower... I just didn't feel like I belonged.  I was there, but not really, ya know?  Included... but only because I was sitting at the table.  The shower holder nominated me as team leader for games... but others protested.  Its a baby shower, geeze.  Of course I handed everything over, but goodness. I was thinking yesterday how I have two sets of friends... two different lives.  I have old friends that have stuck with me no matter what.  We've reconnected through myspace, blah blah.  Then I have new friends I've met through school, hang outs, bars, blah blah.  Some of these new and old cannot mix.  They just don't have the same thoughts or values... its weird. I'm at a crosspoint.  Like wow, how do I do this?  I know I have my best friend.... I have my dog, family... and a boyfriend now (yes, a boyfriend).  I'm happy... truly happy... but when I start thinking about the past versus now, I kinda get sad. But letting this all out has helped immensly.  Thank you for reading.  Does anyone else have these issues?

Jaci, Your life sounds like that of anyone who has changed at all since high school.  You don't fit in with those old friends, but you have history so its hard to realize that they aren't the same part of your life that they used to be. Just be lucky you aren't married!  Friends drop like flies after you get married. Since having my surgery people react to you differently even though I have a lot of weight to lose still its noticable and people kinda don't know how to react.  I have the same thing with the two groups of friends that don't mix, I have the single friends that aren't married and don't really like acknowledging the fact that I am married, and then I have my married friends, and I definetly spend a lot more time with my married friends now. I definetly sympathize with you and the feeling of being pulled between two worlds and the feeling of not fitting in one world (ie the world of pregnant women) haha, but I think its part of being in our twenties and being in this transition between young adult hood and being a real adult (yuck)

LOL, if I was married, it'd be even more weird!  NONE of my friends are married... just knocked up he he. I know my parents don't have the greatest social life.  They gave every spare minute to my sister and I- ball games, band competiions, animal things.  I definately don't want to be like them... so I guess I'm reaching out for something? I know personally I'd rather spend time with the post wls friends and the boyfriend, he he.  But then when I mention something remotely awesome about the post friends around the pre friends, I get jealous vibes....

"Just be lucky you aren't married!  Friends drop like flies after you get married." Yup and then out of the blue after they get married they want to be best friends again.    I've had that happen a couple of times, but more often people just don't understand that things are different when you are married - but that doesn't mean you don't want to be friends.  Ah well.  I guess we all gotta grow up sometime...

Shoot girl, I am with you. I will be turning 29 in a few weeks and pretty much have 2 sets of friends - those who are still single and living the single life/those who are married w/no kids, and those with kids (maybe married, maybe not). When I hang around those with kids I just seem out of place... its just a whole different life. I remember my friends first baby shower a few years back - it was weird because it was all moms or married women wanting to get preggers... there I was no hubby, no kids, hell... no boyfriend.  Its just the way life is... you are just at a different point than them. I sometimes feel like they look at me like 'oh that poor girl, shell die an old maid' haha. But then I think about all they are missing out on.... I live my life for me and only me. While I would one day love to have children I am just enjoying my life as it is now!

Exactly!  I love living for just me.  The parties, the dancing, the schooling, work.  I've thought about the possibilty of settling down, etc... but I don't think I can he he.  If I get married... he better wanna party too! ha ha!

I've matured... but still have to have fun.  Sometimes I feel like I'm making up for all the years I wasn't invited to things or participated in.

Hmmmm.

I have come to realize that some people mentally never leave High School. I have moved on with my life. Many time I feel like I am caught in different world being a married person with out kids or any plans for kids. I don't really fit in with my single friends and I dont really fit in with my married friends cause they all have kids. Anyway I just make the best of things with me my husband and my dog. Good luck with your friends, and at all cost STAY AWAY FROM BABY SHOWERS!!! they are the worst

I know what you mean by being stuck in that world between single and married with kids.  My husband and I are about 2 years from kids right now, and we have single and married friends and sometimes you dont feel like you fit in to either world We are lucky we have one married couple with a 8 year old son and thats such a nice break from our married friends with babies...

You're sooo Racheal Ray like!  She and her hubby only have Isaboo.. the pitbull.  I am in love with the idea of marriage without children.  Sadly, I don't think I'll be a good mother- one of the strict ones who gets disappointed all the time.  I'm kind of a perfectionist :-D. I've always wanted to fit in somewhere... I think that's my problem.  I fit in at school... so seem to hang out there the most he he.

It is sad how friendships change. Just a part of growing up I guess. I moved around the country so much that my friends are scattered all over the U.S. I'm married with a toddler, but my two best friends are single...no kids, and they both live the the northeast. Connecting can be done if you find similar interests. The 3 of us are all teachers, but we're also all creative so we're trying to start up a business together ( Someday.....). It's fun to dream. We still like the same movies and we love to gossip about the old days. We all really drifted apart during the college years but in the last few years we've reconnected. Friendships can ebb and flow...maybe that's what's happening with yours. Don't forget that you are changing a lot right now. It might take you awhile to settle into your new skin and reconnect with old friends. If it makes you feel better I'd hang out with ya 'cause you seem like a very cool chick! Linsey