guilty over someone else's surgery

So, I found out that my supervisor at work who had a bypass two weeks ago was re-admitted to the hospital today.  She apparently is having a hard time and was dehydrated.  I don't know the rest of the details.  She also had her gall bladder removed at the same time and was coming down with the flu the day of her surgery (we were surprised they even chose to opperate). As I've mentioned on here before, I don't talk about my surgery at work.  I don't recommend that anyone have surgery or not have surgery, I believe it is a personal decision.  But, I did answer her questions honestly when she asked.  My post-op pain wasn't that bad, I didn't have any complications, my progress has been really good (knock on wood).  But, I also told her that I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I've been lucky.  I've heard plenty of stories of people who difficulty afterwards.  I got a sinking feeling today in the pit of my stomach when I heard that she's sick.  If I didn't work for her, would she have decided to have the surgery (she wanted lap band or sleeve at first but insurance wouldn't cover them) which she is probably regretting right now?   I know in my head that it isn't my fault, but can't help feeling guilty. Anyone else ever felt like this?

Don't do this to yourself Aaron.  It isn't your fault.  She made this decision for herself.  I would really feel terrible if the people who introduced me to the surgery felt bad because I have had a rough time - they couldn't have known and there is nothing they could have done to prevent it.  Statistically speaking we are all going to know post-ops with complications.  Because of all the folks on obesity help odds also hold that we will meet or have met someone here who might die from WLS-related complications. Funny thing you mention this - I feel guilty that some people who need WLS are not going to have it because of the complications I have had.  This is hard for me to even talk about because it breaks my heart.  These people could die prematurely because I couldn't hack it...or at least that is how it feels.  It doesn't do anyone any good to dwell on that though.... Once your boss gets hydrated and moves past this rough patch she can begin to enjoy all that is good about what WLS can do for her.  It stinks now, but I earnestly pray that in the coming months she is thrilled with how much better her life gets.  Send her a card maybe, and wish her well, those things can help.  But you feeling guilty for something you can't control isn't going to help.  You are a kind soul to feel sick over your boss's misfortune, but know that it isn't your doing. 

Thanks Amy.  Everything you say are things I know to be true in my head, just helps to hear someone else say it.  And believe me, you do more than anyone I know to support those people considering WLS just by your presence on these boards.  Kudos. 

Aaron...one of my biggest supporters before surgery had MANY complications immediately following her surgery (not her first choice of surgery either)...when I began inquiring, she was open and honest about what happened to her, she was very aware it was a possibility, and helped make me aware of what could go wrong....I had to decide, as a lightweight, if I wanted to risk going through the same... A year out, she's very happy with her new life and would go through it all over again to be where she is now....she has never sugar coated her story for n00bs seeking out information....so I feel that sharing your experience is the best thing you can do...it's honest and not trying to sell something...you can't feel guilty about something that may happen to any one of us...any good surgeon makes the risks as clear as the benefits.... just be there for her when she's back on her feet! xxxbecca

Update: My supervisor was back at work today.   She had colitis.  When they did her bypass, they also removed her gall bladder.  I guess therefore she was missing the good bacteria that most people have because of some antibiotics they gave her and she had the misfortune of getting some kind of bug.  Anyways, she's better now.