Repost from VSG Board...

Moments after posting this, I realized that I would probably get a much better perspective on this board than the other one. I would think that many of you have had your parental units help pay for your surgeries. Maybe you've been where I am and can give insight. My post from the VSG board: Ok... so I was totally psyched for getting surgery ASAP. I've been on a high protein, lower carb diet since new year's. I really want to make these lifestyle changes! I really want to be healthy, to be able to play with my children, to be thin, to be able to wear the clothes I want, TO NOT BE ASHAMED!

My mother had told me that she would work on my Dad and not to worry about it. I spoke with her this evening and she said that he isn't totally against it, he just wants me to be more prepared. So... this means I will have to wait a few more months.

He wants me to see a shrink to deal with food issues before I get sleeved. I'll tell you what his real concern is (he even asked the surgeon at the private consult we attended)... the bulimia that I struggled with for years. (I haven't had a bulimic episode for quite a while now.) He is very worried that I will cause harm to myself. I think he is worried that the "urge to purge" may return and I will physically hurt myself OR that because I cannot binge and purge anymore, I will turn to some other self-destructive behavior. 

I get his concerns, as they are legitimate concerns for a father to have for his daughter. The thing is... how can I not be angry? I haven't thrown a fit or anything... I just don't know if I want to speak to him for a while. I was so looking forward to this. I just wanted to get this started...


Right now, I am struggling with the desire to self destruct to try and somehow punish him for his decision. I know that sounds silly... I mean I actually contemplated stopping at McDonalds and getting a sh*tpile of crap to eat my sorrows away. I felt like it would somehow prove to him that I need this surgery. I don't know. I DID NOT do it. I WANT to continue along the path that I have been following this past month. I want to change my life... I am just disappointed. 

So I guess I'll still be hanging out on OH as a pre-op for a while longer. This place is what has helped me stay on track so far. Hopefully you all won't mind. 

Thanks for reading my long post... It is really awesome to have such a supportive place to vent about anything.

Well, I can't relate on the self-pay BUT... maybe you could try and think of your dad as the insurance company that many of us do have to go through.  Mine required 3 months on a dr. supervised diet (show your dad how you're commited and how you've worked to change your eating habits).  Also, it required a visit with a shrink just to show I was in a sane frame of mind to consent to surgery AND to ensure I didn't have any outstanding body dysmorphia or severe mental issues that could be a hinderance to my success post-op. (See if your shrink can give some kind of "report" to your dad, with your consent, to show him you passed the psych eval).  Finally, you could meet with a nutritionist to convince him that you are on the proper path the eating right. Of course, you could also have him be responsible for the bills since he's the one wanting it done, hehe Best of luck with your journey!

Thanks for responding. I am going to do it, not only because I have to, but because it is a good thing. After thinking about it overnight, a few months really isn't that much longer in the grand scheme of things.  Also, I sure hope he's footing the bill for these appointments because my insurance has terrible mental health coverage! 

Honey, if you are going to have surgery soon (and believe me, a few months is soon!) you belong here!!!! Stay the course. You are feeling all kinds of rollercoaster crazy emotions, but the last thing you should do is give your dad a reason to back out all together. See the counsellor/psychiatrist/whatever! We all have food issues or we wouldn't be fat. And, you'll be showing dad that you are capable and committed in this. Stay close by and post as much as you need to. Hold on and do everything as responsibly as you can because it is so worth it!!

Thanks Ferny. I know that obviously there are a LOT of pre-ops and hopefuls here, it still at times feels kind of like being an outsider. I know that is silly, but I just can't wait to get on the "inside"!

I know exactly what you mean, but integrating into the community BEFORE your surgery is a really, really important step, so don't feel like you don't belong. You do!!! =)