Therapist after surgery....

Hey 20 somethings....I need some advice... I've been going through a lot of stuff since my surgery and am wondering how many of you have started seeing therapists since surgery and if they understand issues related to bariatric surgery.  I'm in school to be a therapist myself, so I shouldn't be all nervous about seeing a therapist, I'm just worried about issues of judgement and them not understanding everything related to the surgeries and how it really impacts your life after.  I definitely think a therapist would help, just want to see if any of you have had good luck or not.  Of course, if this is too personal, you don't have to respond! Any thoughts and advice would help...thanks!

Good post... I've been considering doing the same...I've noticed that since my weight loss has become very obvious, I feel angry towards people who suddenly want to be "friends" because I look good...I'm well educated, have a great career, a lot of good friends...nothing about me has changed except for my size...yet suddenly people who don't know me are overly friendly, talkative and go out of their way to spend time with me...WHAT THE HELL?! I am suspicious of people's intentions and sincerity...is getting an education or being good at anything even worth it if all you need to be is "cute" to network and get noticed? How invisible was I before??...would I be even more successful or happy if I had never been fat?! Why can they only treat good looking people like human beings?... I don't know if it makes any sense the way I wrote this...I feel so angry and sad...My family doesn't even understand why it bothers me...their response is "but it's all good now...just enjoy the new life you have now" I hope therapy could put it into perspective... so yes, I hear ya... xxxBecca

Awww, Becca!!!!  *hugs*  I've felt that way even BEFORE surgery, I can't even imagine what I will feel like after.  But I HAVE been trying to mentally prepare myself beforehand and I wanted to say thank you to everyone for being so open about your experiences.  I don't think it's fair in the least but unfortunately life IS a game and in order to play you gotta go by the rules, one of which is "pretty people (society's idea of pretty, anyway) are always on top." I wonder if your family just doesn't know how to respond to you so they brush you off to change the subject.  Not because they don't care about you but because they're at a loss.  But you know we at OH are here for you if you need to vent, feel free to send a message my way. 

Thanks Jennifer... They give me the "you were pretty before" speech... I never actually FELT ugly...I was just too busy to pay attention...now it seems like the people going out of their way to be "sickly sweet" is just so time consuming... I want to yell at them and ask why they never slimed around my office before...why they never wanted to go out to coffee before...why suddenly my opinion counts...why everything I say is suddenly a good idea... Nobody was ever mean....they just weren't ever there.....now they just won't go away... I'm at a loss as to how to be nice about it because they just anger me...I sit at my desk, trying to treat my life like it's normal, and realize that I've been grinding my teeth til I have a headache... I know it's bad to be this mad...but seriously...I'm an interesting person, why is it just now so appealing??? *sigh* xxxbecca

Just like they say, fat is still one of the last things people are allowed to discriminate against. My weight has jumped way up and way down through the years, and I *always* got treated better when I was thinner. Being a heavy young woman is equal to be invisible a lot of the time. I still get bitter about it, but the experience taught me who in my life really cared about me and not my appearance.

Of course, I'm the one who posted the message about not having an identity, so I still have my issues. I may ask my psychiatrist to recommend a therapist at my next appointment.

I know what you mean...How can a support group prepare you to go from safe and invisible to the center of shallow attention?...I hate that this makes me so mad...but it just doesn't seem fair....and it is so blatant...we're just supposed to be cool with it....like looking good for their approval is the reason anyone would have WLS...like we should be grateful for their acknowledgement of our existance....ugh sorry for the ramble...I get a bit heated over this stuff... xxxbecca

My surgeons office required me to see a therapist after surgery, they send the bariatric patients to her because she has had the surgery also

My counselor has been very helpful.  I have had a couple mini-crisis' of identity, withdrawl and mourning and stuff like that and I think any counselor or therapist would know how to deal with stuff like addiction and major life changes.  Maybe you could ask your surgeon's office for a recomendation for a counselor or therapist they are familiar with.  I definately would say go ahead and seek a therapist - at the very least I don't think it would hurt.  I hope you find someone great who can help you work through all the head stuff that comes along with WLS.

In my case, I have realized that my relationship with food and the psychological aspect of the way I ate before surgery was very dysfunctional and I chose to ignore it rather then deal with it. The psych team at my surgery center began to prepar me for it, but it wasn't until after surgery that I was FORCED to confront those issues, for the first time in my life really. And it is just that, that makes coping with life after WLS, even after losing all the weight, so difficult. I can honestly say that going through the operation and losing the weight really wasn't that hard, it was pretty easy, it's this part that is really, really tough, and it's for this reason that even though I'm at goal, I'm still on OH everyday, and going to two or three support group meetings a month. This is my therapy.  Now, seeing an individual therapist is a good idea, I just haven't really gone there, although I have called my original shrink at Duke a few times since surgery, but now she's 2000 miles away...If I were you, if you wanted to find someone to work with, ask for a referall from your surgeon, if they can't provide you with one, try the local forum for your state, you live in a big city, so I'm sure you'd probably get some hits from neighbors who are active on OH...good luck!

I had many years of therapy before surgery, so I was pretty much prepared for everything post-op... I did a lot of work on myself pre-op and had many friends who went thru surgery for me so I feel I was better prepared than many others. However, I have recently been thinking about seeing a therapist as well... I just dont know if I have the time because I have been searching for a p/t job to help pay all my massive medical bills and they cause me a lot of stress!!! Anyways, I would maybe suggest asking other WLSers in your area who they use - or maybe who your surgeon reccomends? If you can find somebody who specializes in EDs they may be better than just a regular ole therapist, but somebody is better than nobody :-)