Seriously Single

 I am 24 and NEVER had a boyfriend. Since my surgery I get a ton of male attention, but I run from guys. I am so insecure about my loose skin and telling a guy about my surgery. Being single sucks at times, but for the most parts its never bothered me much, until lately. Everyone has been on my case and telling me to get over myself and put myself out there. But I wouldn't even know how. My Grandpa told me I'd better stop being so picky or I would end up an old maid. OUCH! Even my students (I'm a teacher) have started asking, "Why aren't you married? Don't teachers have to be married?) Ay yi yi yi yi! ~K

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry your grandfather said that to you!  How insensitive! I didn't start dating until I was 21... official boyfriend 6 mos after surgery.  I totally know the feelings you're having running through your head.  Have you looked into support clothing like Spanx or even spandex to hold the skin closer to the body?  Whenever I wore the slimming undergarments, I instantly felt better about myself. There isn't a rule that says one must devulge their surgery secrets on the first date.  When I'm out with someone for the first time... he knows nothing about my surgery... if he seems cool, later I'll tell him.  The first date is the opening up, getting to know someone opportunity- is he lucky enough to get to see you another time?  If its the eating that bothers you also... don't do dinner.  Do lunch or coffee, mini golf, a movie.... the list is endless! :) For your students... I guess I would just not say anything.  That's in your personal life, not their education.

I am the queen of girdles, spanx, pantyhose and so on! :) But man they can be annoying and uncomfortable at times. Especially when you have 0.2 seconds to pee before your students come in. Yikes! Thanks for the sweet reply. I am hanging in there like always.

LOL, you're too funny!  I read Jenn's reply also.  I'm from an uber tiny town- everyone knows everyone... its crazy!

Just go out and have fun, girlie!  Take your gal pals and enjoy the clubs and dance by yourselves.   And of course... there's always online dating!

Why not start by just dipping your feet into the pool - drag a friend into going to "speed dating' with you - even if you arnt interested in any of the guys you can at least get practice... and you arnt stuck with a guy but only 2 minutes or so. It will boost your confidence and help to give you some small talk skills! Sign up for a dating service - go on a few dates, even if you arnt interested in the guy you can once again practice and get your feet wet with dating... you dont have to get to the point where loose skin or surgery even matter. IMO you would only need to reveal that to somebody you were getting serious with - if they are interested in you then they wont care about that... if they care then they wernt worth your time in the first place.  Pick up some books - there are a few good ones today that will give you insight into men, dating and what they think of women - 'Dont be THAT girl' is a funny one... it talks about different girl personalities and why they scare men off on dates :-) "the MANual" is a good one too - written by a self proclaimed bad boy. It tells you a lot of Dos and Donts when it comes to dating. There is also some book a women wrote where she said yes to every guy who asked her out for a month (or something, maybe it was two weeks)... she went on good dates and bad dates but figured a date was better than no date - another one to check out!

I have often thought it would be awesome to try speed dating. But I live in a town of 1600...there is no such thing around here.  Not even close! But I will definitely have to check out those books. Thanks!