Guy/dating questions

Okay I would just like to ask does it ever get easier to talk with guys when they approach you? Im usually so self consciencs(sp?) about  my weight that when a man approaches me I completely cut off any thought that he migh be intrested in me.  Im sitting in my colleges computer lab right now, and this really cute guy came and sat down right next to me despite the fact that it is really empty, and he could of sat anywhere. Then he went out of his way to get my attention, and start a conversation with me, and I totally froze up. All I could think was, what could this guy see in me, he couldn't possibly be interested. Anyway i talked to him, but I wasn't really myself, and I feel like I really missed out on an oppertunity here.  Does this ever get better?

Believe me when I say IT GETS EASIER! When I lost the weight the first time around (not to sound conceited) I was approached alot and it was weird because it was almost like it wasn't even me talking most of the time. It's like I didn't really care what came of the situation, I just took a leap of faith and 90% of the time it was GREAT! You have to remember that as those pounds disappear, other people (especially the opposite sex) are seeing something totally opposite of what you perceive to be. Just embrace it and know that it gets better!!!

I sure hope it gets easier. Now that I've dropped a bunch of weight, I get hit on a LOT more. It makes me uncomfortable still though. I feel like in the back of my mind... Is he for real? Is this some kind of joke? How could someone find me attractive? or sure I look good in clothes but what's he gonna think when he sees me WTHOUT clothes? It's really hard. I'm still insecure, maybe even more so because I'm noticed more. I suggest you try and work on your self-confidence. Fake it if you have to, lol. I totally know what you're talking about though. I was in my lounge in my dorm and this guy was flirting shamelessly and I was like uhhhhhhhh ummmmmmmm....... like a complete dork. Sometimes I feel 11. I don't know if this helps, lol. But you're certainly not alone.

I think that it will get easier. When I was thinner, the same thoughts ran through my mind when I was approached by guys. It's totally normal to feel that way. IMHO, seeing a counselor would probably be helpful. It is important that you work on your self esteem and that will help your mind catch up with your changing body.  Don't feel like you missed out on an opportunity, there will be PLENTY more of those to come. Just remember, your self worth shouldn't be contingent upon a man giving you attention. Put thought into who you choose to date and make responsible decisions.  My personal advice is to test the waters before jumping into a serious relationship. You have a new body and tons of new feelings to deal with. Give yourself a chance to be a fun-loving kinda gal for a minute before taking you and your hot new body off the market.  -Leigh 

I am still clueless.  It has been a while since I've dated - so that might have something to do with it - and I've never dated while not morbidly obese, so that probably has more to do with my clueless-ness.   But YOU - my dear - need to remember that you are a worthwhile individual now, just as much as you were pre-op.  The only difference is now the outside world is starting to see it too.  Keep telling yourself that if you need to, until you know it in your heart that it is true.  You are worth the attention, guys would be lucky to have you

Shasta, YES YES YES its gets so much better and easier.  You will start to feel more confident and start to feel so much more attractive as you settle into being smaller.  A word of advice though- at my support group I se so many women who still dress and act like they did before surgery...that def holds them back from "feeling" like they look better now. So next time you go out--wear a great outfit, do your make-up and hair, if you look good-you will feel good and understand why men approach you!

It gets waaaaay easier :) It was uber hard for me to even conceive the notion someone would find interest in me... when I didn't find interest in myself.  The constant attention is really overwhelming... but after awhile, it gets really fun.  Kind of like a game ha ha! I've recently gained some confidence in talking to others first.  Its hard... but I'm learning! Did you get his number?  He yours?

Well, i've never dated a guy, so I cazn't speak to that.  But I do know that, as WLS patients, our self-esteem goes up, well, mine did, do the point of good things.  My new lady friend can probably attest that I am a much happier and more approachable person.