What others think about your WLS...

So, before (and after) you had WLS, what types of responses did you get from friends, family, coworkers, etc? Did you chose to share this information? I have told a couple of my female coworkers of my intentions, and they seem somewhat supportive. (When I say somewhat supportive I mean that they didn't chastise me.) I told one of my long time friends who lives out of state, and she said, "Oh no - you mean like cut you open? NO! My friend, she takes these pills her doctor gave her, and.... blah blah." I talked to her more about it and she was totally not open to the idea. So, I changed the subject. After that, I am worried what other people say. I don't want to have to be on the defense all the time. I realize that this is a personal thing, and not everyone needs to know, but who should I tell and who shouldn't I?  Any suggestions or examples from experience would be appreciated, especially from other 20 somethings, as it seems that the idea of us going under the knife (or laprascope) is more extreme than someone older. Thanks, Leigh

I have had very few negative responses when I tell people about my surgery.  I have always been very open about it, so anyone who asked how I was losing the weight, I told about my bypass.  The few negative responses have mostly been from a few family members (who are prime candidates for WLS themselves) who just can't imagine giving up being able to eat mass quantities of food.  Though they still won't consider WLS for themsleves, they have at least mostly come to peace with my decision as time has gone by. When talking to peers it is harder if they aren't or have never been heavy.  My heavier friends (and when I say "heavy" I mean maybe 200 pounds) could really understand why I was desperate enough to look to major surgery to get the weight off.  Now that I am at my goal weight and maintaining the response I get the most is "I can't believe you were 300 pounds!" and that is hardly negative. As for who to tell...it is a personal decision.  For myself, I just find it much easier to tell the whole truth when asked about how I lost the weight.  I have always been an open person, so anyone close to me at all knew I was having WLS within a couple weeks of my approval because I was so excited about it.  I know there are folks out there who, when asked about the weight loss, say things like "I'm cutting carbs.", "I'm exercising.", "I'm controling my portions" and stuff like that - and as true as it is, I know that I did those things before I had bypass and they never were enough for me to lose and keep weight off.  So if I am going to be honest with myself and others, I know it is the RNY that made my weight loss possible.  But that's just me. I hope that the people you decide to tell are surprisingly supportive and encouraging. 

Thanks for replying. I can understand what you mean when you say you were excited a few weeks before. I don't even have an actual date yet, and I think about it several times a day. I want to talk about it, but I am worried about what will be said, or the fact that no one really cares that much about it. (Hey sometimes its hard to remember that I'm not the center of everyone's universe!  )  I think that after the fact, if anyone asks how I've managed to lose weight, I will be open and honest about it. After all, WLS is not like cheating - even if it is sometimes portrayed that way.

WLS is not like cheating - even if it is sometimes portrayed that way.  That is exactly right!  Never forget that!  It is hard work (Mike and I were talking about this in the Chat last night after everyone else signed off) and will always take effort to make our "tools" keep working.  Sometimes it seems as if feel like their weight loss isn't as impressive as someone else's because someone else did it the "old fashioned way" - but what we need to remember is it isn't about how we got healthy - just that we got healthy. It's awesome that you're excited and you should be!  If you need a place to vent that excitement, there are lots of folks around here willing and ready to celebrate with you.  Posts that talk about someone getting a date or reaching a goal make my day.   

I chose to tell very few people about my surgery... even to this day there are only a few additional people Ive told post-op that didnt know pre-op (minus people at the support groups etc!). I told my mom/dad/brother of course... and a few of my good friends, 4 of which happened to be my coworkers.  I basically chose to only tell people who cared about me and I cared about them. I figured it was nobody elses business and what did I gain by telling people who just wanted to gossip.  My father was weary at first, but when I proved I did the research he was on board. My mother was against it (of course, shes a SPAZ - I was 110% going to die in her eyes hah) but finally when surgery rolled around she was fine. All my friends, except 1 were 110% supportive. The only person that was not supportive was the only overweight friend I have... it was pure jealously. Even at this point she will make some snide remarks now and then but I let them roll off my back like water. She was also the one who before I had surgery would make comments about how I would be sick all the time, wouldnt be able to eat, lose all my hair etc. I knew better because my best friend had surgery before me, another close friend had surgery and another friend as well.. they were all 5+ years out when I had surgery so I knew a LOT about what could and couldnt happen.  Even at this far out I still havent told a lot of people.... I told an overweight co-worker who I was friends with after about it because he knew something was going on... that was pretty much it that I can think of. I work at a new job now and a few people here Ive told because I just dont care anymore... they never saw me overweight (I started here in August) so they only know me as I am now and just think of me as 'normal'. I didnt want to be labeled as WLS girl... I didnt want to be a 'zoo exibit' where people would walk by my desk or look me up and down, I didnt want people saying 'can you eat that?!?!?!' I didnt want to be under the watchful eye of the gossip hounds. I chose to do this for me and only me so I only wanted to share it with those who mattered!

I chose to be very open about my surgery i told every and anyone about despite what they might think...its my body and my life and i can do whatever i want with it...sounds braty i know but until they are in your shoes they have no idea what your daily stuggles....most responses that i got were positive and very few people tried to talk me out of it...but like others have said this is a personal decision....well good luck with your surgery and keep us updated on your situtation.

Like Amy...I tell everyone and anyone, and have, surprisingly, had very few, if any, negative responses.

My family was more negative about it than anyone to begin with. Now everyones supportive though. I did lose a friend over it but it was more the jealousy aspect of me being skinny than the fact of having surgery.