feeling guilty

so tonight, i'm one day from surgery. and we get a phone call and it's a family friend who found out i am getting this. long story short.... my mom hadn't told her yet, her daughter stalked my facebook and found out i was getting it and told her, my mom looks like an ass for not saying anything before, and my dad is pissed because i "didn't think about them" at all here when i decided to tell people i was getting a bypass.  I shouldnt have told anyone or i should have told everyone.  Now, I believe i am the one who is getting this whole thing done, im the one changing MY life and i can or can not tell who ever i want!  i understand how my parents are annoyed about this whole thing, but for my dad to tell me i'm stupid for saying anything or for my mom to make me feel guilty about not saying anything is kinda redic.  ughhhh i mean if i didnt have enough emotional stress already.  Now i am just feeling guilty for even going through with this.  I know its something that i want, that is going to make me healthy and i shouldnt care, but i keep thinking that if i never chose to do this, no one would be mad or upset..... i'm one day from surgery and i feel like all my supports are crumbling.... not to mention that my best friend left for cancun and didnt even call me to say good luck....  oh man,  i sound like a big baby.... am i being unreasonable?

Eh, tell them to can it and put it out of your mind.  You have a major surgery to get reqady for and the last thing you need to be thinking about is some nosey family friend and your parents will most definately get over it.  Good luck girl!

Dont worry about what other people think - your life is NONE of their business unless you make it theirs. They definately had NO right to say they were 'upset' they wernt told... if they cared about you they should have called and wished you well instead of complaining about not knowing. This is THE time to think about YOU and only YOU... nobody else. This surgery is being done on YOU for YOU... not you familys friend for them... boo hiss on them for making you feel bad... shame on your mom too. The entire world doesnt have to know about your personal decision... its up to you to share... Just know that you are your best support... OH is another amazing resource... support groups in your area... family and friends are great but nobody can really truly understand what you are going thru then those who have been there before!

You are not being unreasonable at all.  This is a big deal for you so you've got enough to worry about without having to concern yourself with what every family acquaintance is going to think.  You just take care of yourself and get some good rest tonight before your surgery.  I wish you the best in your post-op life!

Good Luck tomorrow! I know what you are going through I havent told many people especially ones in my family and It just somthing that you dont have to blurt out to every single person.  And this is your mothers friend not yours and its your surgery not your mom's no one should be yelling you. This is one thing that I know my group sessions taught us that its our decision wether we tell people or not, and truthfully it's none of thier business. Don't worry about this relax before tomorrow

I didnt tell hardly anyone about my surgery, not even my grandmother. It was a very personal decision for me and I didnt the distraction of trying to keep everyone informed on my recovery...You need to focus on YOU like jen said...Good luck tomorrow girl!

Not unreasonable at ALL! Life is too short to second guess doing something that will better yourself. If you really want something, go get it! God said in all things there will be opposition! But he wont give us anything we cant handle!  Thats some comfort huh?? You are stronger than you might think! Use this time as an opportunity to do things your way and in your time. People will always have opinions...But they have nothing to do with who you really are. Remember that girl!  You have support here whenever you need it!!! :-)  We are here for you, which isnt always the most reassuring(most of us have never met each other :-)), but its true. Keep going forward and be true to yourself...They will get over it, and you are doing what you feel is best health wise, trust that! -Always, Anne