Life after WLS - my progress, triumphs, and continued struggles...

So I have been kind of MIA lately. It's great to see alot of new 20somethings around here, you "old-timers" SheShe, Ruthie. Reese, Amy, Jennifer, Shasta...will remember that I used to be a fixture around here. heeheehee... I have been so busy lately between my kids, working 50-60 hours a week, and trying to get settled back in Arizona. I'm sorry I haven't been around much, I will try to be better! As for my WLS Journey: It has been almost nine months now since I had laproscopic RNY on March 29th. I'm proud to say that as of the beginning of November I am at GOAL! I've actually lost a few extra pounds at 167 I'm sitting 8 lbs below goal. I can't believe I have actualy been able to lose 130 pounds in such a short period of time! I'm so grateful for the awesome team at Duke University in Durham, NC for helping me escape from the terrible path I was on.  After calling just about every surgeon in Phoenix, i finnally did find a surgeon to accept me into their practice for aftercare. Dr. Eric Schlesinger of AZ Weight Loss Solutions in N. Phoenix. I was very impressed with him when we met. His office and staff are world class, and he took plenty of time to examine me and answer all of my questions. He ran all of my labs, and they all came out great! Where I'm at now is I am starting the path for plastic surgeory. I was hoping that since I started relatively small for WLS at 297 lbs with a BMI of 43 that I wouldn't encounter many skin issues, but alas, I did.  I have loose skin all over, but the areas that bother me the most are my belly and my "manboobs" I met with a surgeon, Dr. Steven Gitt of North Valley Plastic Surgeory and he felt he could get insurance to approve a panneculectomy (tummy tuck) and a male breast reduction - the technical name for it I can't remember, nor can I pronounce!  Unfortunately, my insurance does not cover him under my plan, but I was told that an experienced surgeon who also specializes in reconstructive surgery for patients who have undergone massive weight loss that just joined his practice is now going through the process of contracting with my insurance company (United Healthhcare)...It could be a few days or months before I hear anything, so for now I will just have to sit back, wait, and keep my fingers crossed. All in all I am doing pretty well with it. It hasn't been a completely smooth ride though. I still occasionally struggle to get enough fluids in. Lately, I have been struggling a little bit with my appetite or "mental hunger." I have definately noticed an increase in the amount I can eat, and now it is taking a fair amount of self control to avoid eating more than I think I should. I still will get full very quickly, but if I choose, I can continue to eat more, although still much less then before surgery, so that is comforting...It just freaks me out a little, because it isn't as "easy" as it was before. Carbs continue to call my name, especially with all the holiday junk food around. It seems like everytime I allow them to creap into my diet, the scale goes up overnight! Then I buckle down and no- or low-carb it and it comes back off, but it is a frustrating kind of yo-yo feeling and I hate it!  A few people have mentioned to my wife that I need to stop losing weight, that I don't look healthy. I'm having a hard time with that too. I know that I have gotten my BMI down into a healthy range, but it is at the high-end of normal and I have a "small" frame. So I think it would be fine if I lost another ten to twenty pounds to put me into the "optimal" BMI range. I look at myself in the mirror without my shirt, and I'm kind of grossed out by all the flab. My wife thinks it is all skin, but I feel like there is plenty of fat in there too. It is a wierd thing. I have even been accused of having Body Dysmorphia - where you have an unrealstic body image. I don't know if I do or I don't. I don't like the flab, but when I see pictures of myself, I do think I look "wierd" esecially in my face - I look "deflated.."  My plan is to try to get into a weight-lifting routine and STICK to it to try to add some healthy muscle to my frame. I also think I might talk to the shrink at the bariatric clinic about it...What do you guys think? Also, I posted a picture from this weekend on my profile, take a peek!

I wanted to comment on the body dysmorphia - I do not believe that is what you have. Personally I look at the extra skin and flab and feel I need to lose more weight as well... its hard to understand unless the person was themselves overweight. When I was large n in charge I always HATED my stomach - the night I got my approval letter I was sitting in the bathtub and I slapped my stomach and said bye bye sukka - well at 149lbs I still have a big hangy stomach... when I look at myself naked in the mirror I still see all the things I hate - flabby arms and a fat stomach... I want to keep losing weight in hopes that if I do my arms and stomach will improve. Last I saw my NUT she said I could go as low as 145 which I am working for but I will have to force myself to stop there.... I keep checking inches to see where I am losing and thankfully its been my stomach... I dont want to get that lost too much weight look.  As for others telling you to stop losing weight - they dont see you naked. WLS patients lose differently than normal people. A lot of us tend to lose a lot in the face/neck area which is what people see... we lose last in the areas we hate stomach/arms or butt/legs (depending on your body shape) As Ive gotten smaller the tape measure has really only started to move in the areas that are still flabby - mostly my stomach... so that only reassures me of the fact that I should still keep losing ya know? If you look at Star Jones she got that sunken lost too much weight face but now she looks a little more normal as time passed. Also for the past however many months your focus has been to lose weight - its hard to all of a sudden hit the breaks and stop working at losing - its almost like now what?? Yeah you have to move to maintenance eating and just being a normal person but that is easier said then done in some cases. I find myself at this point moving into the new struggle of can I keep the weight off? Its scary and I am not exactly sure how to deal with it yet... how do you just move on? For years your focus is food and how fat you are, then its surgery and losing weight, then its like - nothing... just another part of the journey to overcome. Anyways congrats on all your success! Just wanted to let you know you arnt alone in your feelings! Its harder for newbies to understand where we are comming from but they will get there. Its something I brought up to the person who runs my support group as a topic by sadly I am one of the 'old timers'.. there are a few others who are further out but only attend now and then so I really have nobody to turn to ya know? There are a few others at or near my stage and in speaking with them they have the same feeling - I hope to figure it out soon!

Hey Mike, you have done so well.  I dont know about the whole body image thing...  I mean I dont look like I have lost weight IMO but im not that far out.  I think maybe talking to the shrink might help you a little.. We miss you so much! I hope all is well with you and your family... Dont be a stranger

HI mike, Im too early out to answer any of your questions, just wanted to say best of luck to you. Also let me know how the plastic surgery stuff goes. I have united healthcare too, and it gives me hope that when the time comes i might get them to pay for part of it.

Hey Mike congratulations on all of your success and thanks for all of the great advice you have given myself and others on the board. You should be so proud of youself-this is constant hard work and self control and its amazing that you have reached your goal!! Thanks for the inspiration...