Liquid diet was flowing...until I ate..

Okay, to start things off...I have been on a liquid diet for my Dec 20th surgery for a good week..But the other day, I got so hungry and didnt want to make my protein broth..so I ate normal food. I feel like a failure...like I will now never make it through what I have to...Has any one else had this experience? Advice? Anything! I think I am feeling very insecure about the actual procedure...Very scared that something will go wrong..or that my body will freak out...My mind cant picture the end results and I feel like this is not really happening for me. That its just a nice dream...To be free of this overweight hell. Like, I cant quite get a grasp on how good it will feel. Negative thoughts pulse through my mind "You know your never gonna be able to do this..". Ahhhh! get out of my head!! Im hoping this feeling is just for a small moment and that I will keep going and have that reassured feeling that all will be well when December 20 rolls my way...

i wouldn't freak out too much. nobody is perfect. you had one lapse in judgement. and you know what, it'll happen again after surgery too. ur not always going to eat the right things, we are still human after our stomachs are shrunk. and i know exactly how you feel not being able to see the end result. when i was 462, there was no way i could picture myself ever weighing 193. no effing way on earth. sometimes i look back and still cant imagine i was ever fat. and ur doubts and fears, we all went through, some worse than others. well i wish you good luck on friday, which by the way will be my 2 year surgiversary.

Wow, that is incredible...Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!  Congratulations!

I felt the same way before my surgery. For some reason I was sure it wouldn't happen, like at the last minute my surgeon would decide not to operate on me. In fact, when I woke up in the recovery room I was very drugged up and confused and couldn't feel any pain and I was SURE they hadn't operated on me. The nurses kept reassuring me that I did have the surgery and I was ok. It was so strange, I couldn't believe that I finally had my operation that I waited so long for. You'll do fine, just stay positive!!!

Haha! Oh man, that sounds like me lol  Thank you for your support ...It really helps right now!

I too have struggled with my liquid diet...and have cheated which has caused me to question whether or not I should have the surgery at all. The what ifs are overwhelming. I can only pray that God makes me strong enough to travel the road I have chosen

Going through blogs and reading peoples stories has comforted me...This is not an uncommon thing..I mean, think about why we are fat to begin with...We all seem to be overeaters/compulsive overeaters!! duh! haha  I think  we both needed the replies on this entry huh?  I think we will both make it through :-)  Thank you for posting!!!

I feel sooo lucky that my surgeon didn't require ANY preop diet except for the day before and even still I could have a regular breakfast, full liquid lunch and clear liquid dinner. Anyways as far as being insecure about the procedure and outcome I think a lot of us struggle with that. Four months ago I couldn't fathom myself being under 270 lbs for nothing (I was 307 the day I was released from the hospital from surgery, 304 when I checked in). 270 always seemed to be where I would get stuck at in previous dieting attempts before I would start regaining again. Now I'm weighing in at 235ish and it's sooo real to me and I'm having a hard time picturing me in ONEderland. I think I am always going to have the fat girl mentality though because I see absolutely NO difference in myself even though I've lost over 70 lbs. In fact even though I can shop at other stores now because I am able to wear some 14/16s also some 18/20s it really depends on the cuts and what not I still made my hubby go in to Lane Bryant with me the other day and the whole time he was asking me why because I can shop at regular stores now and very few things at Lane Bryant will fit me since their sizes are cut so big, but it was habit therefore I went in and browsed around and left. Anyways this is just turning into a story book. I think after being overweight so long it really is hard for most of us to fathom not being big.

My gosh...I always think I am the only one who thinks this way...and boy am I wrong lol  I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for taking the time to post...Good luck on your way to Onederland!!!

Your definitely NoT alone in your thinking. :) The great thing is we have people on OH who know what we've been through and can offer a shoulder and some support!!! I don't post over here in the WLS in your 20s board very often but with all the wars lately I probally will be more active.