The time is coming closer...

So, next Weds is my last pre-op required doctor visit as per my insurance. I have to meet with my phsychologist, and tomorrow i got for an upper endoscapy. The passed 3 months have been hectic going to different appointments, missing class, missing work, etc..But it will all be worth it.  I hope to have a date set by sometime in January, and it seems as though lately im having some thoughts flying through my mind,  and im not sure how I feel about everything. I look at myself now, and I just feel so fat, the way i look in clothes, in the mirror, the way my skin looks and everything, and its somewhat depressing. Also, in terms of physical activities, I get out of breath walking short distances, going up stairs, just walking around the mall gives me a sore back, and this summer, i just didnt have it in me to go and walk around car shows..which is my most favorite thing to do in the summer.  I went to a bar the other night with a good friend, who is in great shape and basically a ladies man. He was dancing with all these girls, meanwhile im just standing there looking, because I would never have the guts to talk to a girl at my size. I want that to change, i want to have girls walking up to me and talking.  I went to the mall the other night with a friend..he was looking at shirts at a store, like just random t-shirts with sayings on them and stuff..they were actually pretty cheap. they dont have my sizes..i thought to myself "in a few months ill be here buying all these cool clothes" Also, it kinda aggrivates me that I haven't had sex in over 3 years..this goes to guys..did your frequency of sex and or anything sexual improve in your life? Has anyone gotten feelings like this before getting the procedure? is it normal to be somewhat saddened by the current state your in and how you've left yourself go?

I did have a period where I got down on myself... I thought to myself - Jennifer how did you ever let yourself get so fat that surgery was the only way to cure it? Its really a tough thing to face. Basically I was the one who made myself fat, I was the one who decided to have surgery - if something happened I would have nobody to blame but me?

Once I was post-op I knew I wasnt the only reason I was fat... there were so many things working against me that made me the way I was... the voice in my head telling me to eat, how my parents eating habits helped to shape mine, how cheap garbage food is, lack of proper education about nutrition... I could go on and on. I know now it wasnt my fault - but it is my resposibility to keep this weight off that I lost... at this point with all the education and tools I have been given I am really the one responsible for my weight, health and life!

As for the sex question... I know you asked for the guys but figured I would answer. Frequency and quality definately improved - I am physically able to 'keep up' and not have hurting knees or be out of breath quickly. There is less 'stuff' in the way... so moving around, different positions etc are easier. Because I exercise and do yoga I am much more flexiable making things easier as well ;-) theres also the confidence... sure my body isnt the greatest now but *I* feel SOOOOO much more confident. I walk around naked and dont care... I will leave the lights on, Ill shower with my BF... I feel sexy now which I never did before. My attitude has been one of the biggest changes in my sex life... the physical changes help, but the attitude has been key!

Hey there,  How exciting that you are almost there!!! I have 20 days until GBS and am so excited. If you read my blogs, this is kind of what I've been going through. The frustration and sadness that I let myself get this way...  But all that matters is that you're doing something about it now! We are young and you have your whole life ahead of you, so all that past BS will be ancient history!!! You are going to be able to run circles around your friends, you're going to outdress them, and you'll be the one who gets approached at bars instead of always being the wingman. Believe it. You'll be "that guy" that you always wished you could be but couldn't because you felt trapped by your size.  Smile! :-D

First off...CONGRATS!!! I can't speak for anyone but my own experience, but I know how you feel....like life is "on hold" WLS has changed my life in ways i never thought possible...I love every day of my life...i love how i look and feel, I love that im better at my job, I love that my health is so much better and i love that my husband does me like a pornstar....I have more confidence now that i ever did before I even got fat... nothing would ever ever make me wish I hadn't done this. I wish all of the things you really want in your life from this surgery to come true!! it truly is a wild ride! xxxBecca

Let me tell you...Your WHOLE world is about to change. Don't be upset about where you are now, be excited about where you are going. Just remember where you are now...your mental state, physical limitations, and what lead up to this point. BLOG it, writie it down, whatever it takes...So you will never let yourself get there again. And later on down the road, after surgery, revisit those markers to remind you of your goals. I just wrote a 3 month blog about the EXACT same issues you are having. before surgery I wouldnt even go to the club/bar because I was embarrassed, couldnt fit through the crowds, no guys would dance with me, my friends got all of the attention. It was the most horrible feeling, men wouldnt even make eye contact with me. It's so unfortunate but that is how was. It has only been 3 months since my surgery and alllll of that has changed-and I am sure will only keep getting better. So you have sooooo much to look foward to. Not only because you are going to look better, But your confidence is going to soar as you feel your appearance improves. As far as sex goes....men or women...oh yeah it gets better, more frequent, and your pick of partners will definitely expand lol. 

thanks everyone..arent there any guys around here to chime in?

check out the men's forum...

We usually have three constant guys around... but seems they're mia lately.  Sorry we chicks can't help ya out better lol.