Jealous???

Do you have a lot of  "haters" since your weight loss? My friend/aunt-in-law had RNY about 6 months ago and looks awesome! She went from a size 20-22 to a sz 10. Now she has people "hating" on her. Some of our family saying she looks like a "crack head" (sad and ignorant, I know) and that she doesnt look right, blah blah blah. And her "friends" and her family are saying mean things. She said she cant wait for me to have mine so she can have someone to relate to. My mom had it but no one ever said that about her, at least not to her face. Anyway, do any of you have people who say things to make you feel bad and you think its out of jealousy???? How do you deal with them? Maybe I will convince her to get on here since she is 24 too. Thanks Tamika

Hey, I have had major issues with the jealousy issue.  Now I have no friends.. Literally.   When I was going to have my wls I let everyone close to me know... I let them know that I may need their help.. Once they found out they all dissapeared, No one answers their phone, or messages on myspace...  Its frustrating...  I had one friend who was so excited for me she decided to go ahead and get it too.. Well Her insurance only covers 15 %. meaning that would not happen for her.  Since then she has said I am cheating..  WHATEVA BISH... THEN my other BFF had surgery in april, We orginally intended to get it together and I chickened out.. Well she was happy for me when i decided to do it... Until about a month out,  I had already lost more then she had in the 4 or 5 months shed had hers... SOOOO  now she wont talk to me.. Its frustrating.. I dont know how I deal with it..  I cry, I want friends.. But life goes on, Since my surgery I have met some ppl in support groups who i am sure will be great friends...

Those Biotches, u don't need them in your life anyway. I will be your friend!!! :)

Awe...its sad how people can be. Jealousy can cause people to be evil!!! Tru friends stick by you beginning to end, so they werent tru friends. I hope you meet some people who are dear to you!

Tamika, I am going through that now.  I actually posted about my one 'friend' two or three weeks ago.   It happens, but i take it as people are jealous and you get to find out who your REAL friends are.  It is sad when your family is doing it too, but you just have to remember that they are insecure about themselves and they are projecting it through their negative comments about others with WLS.  And then there are those that just truly dont understand what surgery means and the benefits, they only see the bad (but they tend to see the bad in everything else too so why do you want to surround yourself with the negativity)...   This is one of the negative side effects of surgery many of us will experience, but if we dont take it personally, and lean on our true support systems more (like OH) we will get thorugh it just fine.   We're here if you need us!

Thanks! I told her to take it as a compliment. They talk about you when you are heavy then when you do get skinny they find something else and it is out of their insecurities. It hurts to feel lonely but other people will come around. I know its easy for me to say pre-op so I cant totally relate but i dont have friends now so it doesnt really matter to me. But all in all people so mean.

Even before I had my surgery people were hating!! I couldn't believe it! And it is absolutely out of jealousy, just always keep that in mind when people you thought loved you and were your friends make nasty comments.   Not long before my surgery this girl at my work (who definitely qualifies for the surgery)made some  nasty comment to me and I just said, "Jealous much?" Now she keeps her mouth shut. Just call people out on their jealousy, it works.

Oh yes there are haters. And either I dropped them or they dropped me. No loss in my opinion. As I say we were the ones they hung around with because we made them look good. Now we look good and get the attention and they can't handle it. Personally I kinda like it now. I have people hating me because of how I look.....talk about a WOW! lol I personally have gone from a 30/32W to a 10 x 34 length ( which will be a 7-8 after my tummy tuck in febuary). So you bet I have haters. It is kinda fun though. Learn to love it. But I do have very few friends that have stuck by me totally. But I can always make new ones, and eventually Ill weed out what isnt a true friend once I actually hang out with them enough. So its all in how you handle it. You can get depressed about it or embrace it a realize they just hung around cause you made them look good.

Wow....ummm, I don't know how I would feel.  My friends are loving that i am going to get the surgery.  They are ecstatic actually that we will be able to shop in the same stores and all.  They are tiny little things.  But I think maybe that is because they have seen me kinda thin.  See at one point I was like 310 lbs. but then I lost so much weight...I went to about 155 lbs.  So they were there through that and they were awesome always telling me I looked hot ..just great friends you know!!  And now after my son and after Polycysytic ovaries and thyroid problems they see me big again.  They just love me the same, really, excatly the same.  Did I mention they are abosultely gorgeous?  One of them was just on the cover of part II of Newsday!  Beautiful girls inside and out!!

If your "friends" are acting like this then they were never, ever your friends.  Mind you there are only about like 7-8 girls I am talking about but that is way more than enough for me.  We never talk about what other girls look like, we just call them *****es if they have a nasty attitude, big or small, prtty or not so pretty.  If you ever wanna come to Long Island and hang, let me know.  We will be here!!  Love to everyone!! -Lili

Yes! You have true friends!!! My friend/aunt-in-law, lost her friends (heavy and  thin) they just started acting "funny" when she lost. I dont have many friends so I am hoping the surgery and weight loss wont test our frinedships either.  My aunt is ecstatic about me getting wls so that I can go shopping with her too. I cant weight either!  Good Luck to you! Its awesome that you have a real set of friends to support you! -Tamika