Should I bring it up that I know what he wrote?-sorry long

I accidently read an email that was menat for my mom, today. It was from my  big brother, whom I am very very close to. I look up to him, and admire him more than anyone in the world. I go to him for advice on any problem I have, or anything that goes on in my life, and always trust what he has to say. Well anyway let me explain that it took me awhile to tell him I was having this surgery, because I didn't think he would be supportive(just because he would be afraid for me). Anyways though when I told him he was so supportive, and asked all kinds of questions and really got behind me. It was such a relief to me because I really didn't think I would be able to do this without his support. Well today I accidently read that email to my mom, and found out that he is really not wanting me to do this at all. He went on and on to her about how he thinks its a really bad idea, and he wishes that I wouldn't do it. He is very concerned for me and very upset, but he doesn't want to tell me because he knows I need to make my own descion.  Now I don'y know what to do. Should I bring it up to him that I know he has concerns? I was also just thinking of not telling him that I read it, but sending a letter letting him know all the research I did, and the reasons why Im doing this, and the qualifications of the doctor. Anyways I would appreciate any advice because I really need his support in this.

you have to remember, he is being supportive. as long as he is being supportive to you. i am sure he has doubts and fears for you, but he never wanted to let you know any of these. you found some information not meant for you and you should act as if you didnt see it. i am sure many of our friends and family members had doubts and fears for us and did not express them. as long as they are not speaking negatively towards the surgery. you should except his support.

I'm going out on a limb and actually agreeing with Josh, hun.  You weren't suppose to recieve the information that you read. He is being supportive and perhaps he doesn't want to scare you by telling you his fears. I know many of my friends and family members who "appeared" supportive told me after my surgery that they were scared as all.. well.. get out. :-)   Zandra

Hey Shasta! I think its awesome that your brother wants you to feel support from him! Also that he acknowledges the fact that its your decision. If you feel like you should say something, go ahead. Or just begin to give him information about the surgery and let him know that you are educated on it and tell him all of the benefits you will get from it.  He loves you and is just concerned about your well being. I love the fact that he hasnt tried to change your mind or talk negatively to you. He just wants to voice his concerns to someone you both respect. Maybe your mom will email him and re-assure him that you are making a good decision.  If my brother were living, I'm not sure I'd have that much support from him. It seems like you 2 have a really good relationship and to keep it that way, communication is needed. Good Luck!

I would NEVER say a word! The e-mail was not meant for you! He is being supportive and that is all that counts. Everyone has to vent about things and maybe he used your mom as a sounding board to work through his concerns, not meant for you to know! Holli

Honeslty I wouldnt do anything... your brother is scared for you and is looking for reassurance from your mother that everything will be ok... just like you wanted reassurance from your family. Its up to your brother to speak to you about his concerns if thats what he really wants to do. Perhaps he just needed to vent a little to mom so he could get it off his chest. I wouldnt take it to personally or be upset about it... Id actucally be worried if he didnt question your decision a little or worry about it. Its a major decision you are making and can be harder for others to accept. Over time his fears/concerns will fade and he will eventually realize this is the best thing you could have done for yourself.

Thank you for everyone *****sponded. I was upset when I first read the email, just because I didn't want him to be so worried, but really everything that you guys have written is true. I need to just let it go. I appreciate everyones advice!