Feel more uncomfortable about my naked body NOW than I did 120 lbs ago!!!

Ok so I wasnt sure where to post this. I might post it in the main board as well to get some more feedback. Let me tell yall my problems. lol I'm 28 years old single I date around a bit. I had a bf before I had surgery up until April then that fizzled out. So my point is I have not been with a guy sexually since I had the RNY besides the x bf. My big dilemma is............... My naked body is sooo gross. Like I already have plastic surgery on my arms so I have the huge scars, then my thighs are horrible they look like they are melting off of me. The stomach is bad but its something I can actually deal with. Most people have a little stomach pooch anyways. SO I started dating a guy and I have not told him about my RNY or the brachioplasty. Im really surprised he hasnt seen the scars yet from the brachio. My problem is with clothes on hey I look fine no one would have a clue that under the clolthes my skin is melting off. What Im looking for is help on dealing with this issue. Plastics will be in my future but I need to deal with it NOW. Things are getting physical with this guy and Im so scacred he will see me naked and RUN. I kind of feel like I should warn him before it gets to that point. I know that if he does run well he wasnt the guy for me anyways but I just dont know if I should give him a heads up. I don't think he will care but I just dont want to be shocked when he sees my naked body.  PS. I was more self confident about my naked body at 300 lbs than I am now. Im glad I had the surgery no regrets I just wish my body could for once be normal. Overall my confidence has shot up but as far as being naked goes Im soo scared!!!!!

Honey, I am so with you with.  I have lost 195 pounds and about 13 weeks out of my panni removal.  My thighs are horrible, I have skin that needs to be removed near the breast/bra overhang and I could just go on and on.  What I've come to to realize in these last couple of days is that I have to love me for me and go on.  If the guy doesn't like it, oh well. Maybe a discussion is in order... just kind of like a here's my secret... what's yours?  Then let the physical stuff go on naturally later... or however it flows. Remember to love yourself first, hon.. then that specialness will arrive.

Your right the right man that comes along will like/love me for me skinny, fat, extra skin whatever and thats what Ive always wante. It's just scary though. I think I am going to tell him though but I also don't want him to think I lack self confidence. Oh I dont know what to do.

I'm sure he won't think that.  Just bring it up casually if you do.  I know how scary it can be... this dating thing is FREAKY! lol

I am also uncomfortable with the way my body looks. You feel like you worked so hard to lose weight but still have to suffer with a "fat persons" body. I feel like I am walking around with the signs of a FFC (former fat chick).  Anyways... my BF and I talked about it. Basically at this point it sounds like this guy is into you... men do not react the same as women to situtations. I felt I had to 'explain' to my BF why my body was the way it was... when I told him about the surgery he really had no reaction. I talked to him further about my body and how I was uncomfortable etc and he said he thought I was sexy as hell (blush!). It pretty much comes down to us caring more about how we look than the opposite sex. I use to feel like I was doing "false advertising"... when I am wearing my clothes there is NO way a guy would know the 'scaryness' that is underneath... but you know what? Really to a guy once you get to the point where they have you naked they really couldnt care :-) If you are really into this guy and see it going places I would talk to him about the RNY. When I told my BF he said he wondered why sometimes I ate so little and it made sense to him now. When I first met his parents he was sweet and asked what he should tell him mom I could eat. He wanted to make sure there was something there for me so I wouldnt not eat (I am a picky eater!!). He was very understanding and is aware of the issues I have with my body. I still am shy about changing in front of him sometimes and he understands. I chose to tell him because I didnt want him to think any of my insecurities had to do with him.

Thanks for all your great comments. Im going to tell him, now I just need to find the right time to tell him. I mean sometimes you don't know a guys true intentions. If he just wants to get a little Brnt chika Brnt Brnt lol, I really could care less what he is going to think of me naked. I do hope he wants more than that I think he does anyways.

I was waiting for the 'right time' planned out what I was going to say etc. Then one night when we were out I just blurted it out without thinking... then I started crying! haha... it was AWFUL!  But at least it was done and over with!

Well I'll hit this from a few recent things I had go on. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Well back in July I dated this one guy, things did get physical and to be quite honest bearing my body didn't phase me at the time with him. And trust me I have the panni from hell, it hangs over the kitty, lol, except when laying down. (Yes im perfectly comfortable talking about all aspects). I don't know if it was because I didn't see it going anywhere or what. I split with him, cause I didn't see us going anywhere, and didnt feel like dating forever. As thats the vibe I got from him. But that lack of worry just wasn't there, which I personally found really odd, maybe I just got what I wanted (sex, lol it had been a lil over a year since I last had any at that point). Well my current boyfriend, its a whole different story. Luckily we are taking things slow for the time being. He's a farmer/country boy and its harvest time so I don't get to see him much. We are really into each other.  Anyways he said something about me once I kinda did that brush off/whatever comment that clues into our personal mental fights with our bodies. Luckily he didnt catch it totally, but I could see him question it by his look. Well he asked about my doctor appointment, and I told him yup have a hernia. And that I was actually kinda happy about that cause it opens doors for me to get other things done (damn it my slip on that). He looks and goes what other things, I say don't worry bout it. Wrong he didnt let up till I told him. Amazingly after I told him, he says I am so proud of you. Not many would have the guts to go through that surgery at our age. He actually didn't care, and was honest to god happy.  But thing is, I like you, worry about the physical thing, and my bf actually knows, about surgery and my mental battles with the skin! So I would find a way to bring it up. If he is into you, no matter what it shouldn't make a difference. So go find out. Much luck and sorry for the ramble, lol

I don't think I can give any better advice then is already given.  Thank goodness I am married. My husband doesn't even notice the skin.  He doesn't care by the time he get me naked. Not to mention the sex life is better.

I am glad I am married too! I can imagine going through the WLS and skin issues AND DATING! Wow, that's a lot! Even though I am married, I still hate my skin and looking foward to a TT. Good luck ladies~ Holli