Other's reactions to "I'm having WLS"...

Alright. I've told lots of people that I'm trying to get approved for WLS. Besides all of you, I've had two people..TWO, tell me they're proud of me for doing this for ME. My mom, and our landlord's wife! lol. Everyone else has an odd reaction. I've gotten - "thats way too risky, you should just go on a diet" and "good luck, I hear it messed you up horribly" ..I've gotten a *look* and no verbal response. The hardest of all for me to handle though came from my sister. She's went from over 250 down to ...i think 160-165 now..all on her own. I'm very proud of her ..don't get me wrong. Her first reaction seemed like jealousy..but I'm not sure. Her reaction was that I'm taking the "easy way out". I can argue this ALLLLLL day long. I know full well this isn't easy, for ANYONE who has WLS.  My question is...what responses have you gotten ...and how do I deal with my sister's response? Other than the phone call I'm going to get from Jaci once she reads this lol. Crystal :)

First...I only told people I cared about and who cared about me. I did not (and still havent) told random people about the surgery. Its a decision I made for me and only me so I involved only those I knew would be supportive because they loved and cared about me. As for your sister... thats a normal response. Of course people think its the "easy way out" because they see celebrities on TV just melting away. They dont see everything that we go thru post-op. See if your sister will get involved.. bring her to a Drs visit, take her to the NUT with you... bring her to support groups so see whats involved pre and post-op. Education is key.

Dude, do I need to slap her or something?  Yes, she can be super proud of herself and everyone else can be proud... but she had alot less to lose/more will power/motivation/incentive than most people.  She's amazing! My sister was horrible to me when I was planning for my surgery and just after.  It wasn't until about four months or so after that she finally let up on the attitude.  Personally... I think its jealousy.  She is 6'2 at a minimum and overweight as well.  I think the change in how we worked together was not only her moving out to go to school... but my own outlook.  My outlook on life improved and such, so I was better able to handle the super conflict between us.  I think I know exactly how to help you out... and we'll discuss it tonight :) Others... geeze... aren't they mean!?  Just ignore them.  I didn't tell ANY of my family until I was a month post op lol.  My parents knew as well as my sister.  My grandmother and aunt were super AGAINST the WLS because of bad past experiences... so February 6th (1 month anniversary), I told them both in church about my WLS.  Sometimes... its just easier to keep quiet before the procedure in order to not have to worry about the negative. *hugs*

When i was telling people about the surgery, i got a huge variety of responses. they were: are you sure, it's so risky,  that's great good for you, wow, good luck with that, why don't you just try to diet, i even got a " you should go on the biggest loser, i think you have the look for it." that has to be my favorite. no matter what i heard though, i knew what i wanted and didn't let any of it affect me. but remember, who cares what they say, good or bad. ultimately it is a decision for you and you alone. it is to make ur life healthier and hopefully longer.

I really only told close family and friends about the surgery before I had it.  Since I have returned to school and I am only 2 + weeks out of surgery and I am still wearing a binder all the time, I have got a lot of questions about whats up am I okay from people I am going to school with.  Thankfully I am in the teaching program at UMFlint and the people in the program are really nice and I have known them for a few years now, so I have got some support from them.  I had a few people that were like well what did you do that for, then they would get the dirty looks from the nice people in class haha.  Really you need to just hold your head up high and know that your doing the right thing for you. 

I like pretty much everyone above me got a varity of reponses.  Mostly People would tell me that I am so young and that its risky..  Or, My favorite was "you dont look like you would need that"  Uhm, ok I know I was in denial for a long time but why are they?  Most of my friends said they would "be there for me"  But since my surgery not one person has called me or asked how I am or visited me or anythign!  (see my blog from last night) Its really depressing me. As for your sister....  She may be a bit jealous because she thinks she had to do it the hard way, and you get to have it the easy way...  Of course you know thats not true, but she will see that soon and be your biggest supporter!

I have gotten a variety of responses from a variety of people.  My mother and grandmother have been very supportive and i was worried about their reaction the most.  One of my clsoest friends has been the least supportive.  I feel the reasons for her less than positive reposnse are as follows: 1) she is not well educated in the procedure 2) she is jealous 3) she is resentful because soon she will be the heaviest among our close circle of friends.   By understanding what is motivating her reactions I can better handle it.  I just dont discuss it with her (she can even say the words bypass or WLS).  I lean on those who are supportive: family, co-workers, select friends, and my OH family. I also see a therapist who listens to my frustrations.  It has helped with the lonely feelings and depression.   You have to remember that you did this for yourself, so draw your strength from within.  This is about you and no one else. right now we get to be a bit selfish and focus our attention on ourselves instead of everyone else (which i feel is a big problem for alot of us - especially women) Be strong, be proud of yourself, and enjoy this amazing ride!  If you need someone to talk to feel free to drop me a line!

I also got a variety of responses mostly positive but there are still those people who say your taking the easy way out...all i have to say is "What's so easy about being cut open and haveing your internal organs rearranged?" usually they shut up after that but thats just me. As far as your sister is concerned just give her some time my little sister who is also my best friend had a less than desirable reaction to my surgery...it wasn't that she wasn't happy for me and it broke my heart cause we are so close and i really wanted her to be there for me...but i gave her space and now after a month post-op she is starting to come around. I also didn't tall the rest of my family until this past Saturday and that was only cause i had a family gathering to go to i wasn't sure of their reactions but they are all supportive of me.

Oh man, I can totally relate..My sister who used to be overweight, but is now an average size, got mad at me when I called to tell her about my WLS approval. She said, and I quote, "You don't try hard enough with your diet and exercise". I was like, yea, it's hard to keep giving your 100% after months of killing yourself at the gym and completely sticking to a diet and still seeing no results. It's just hard for me to lose weight, why can't she understand? Who knows..I tried to explain to her that the diet and exercise continue after surgery and the WLS is there to help...I hung up on her because she was just making me so mad. And my feelings were hurt because I thought of all people she would be most supportive..sheesh. I feel your pain--

My mother was very against it.  I think the concept scared her.  She wanted me to try Jenny Craig again instead.  I told her that I just couldn't do it again.  After a while, she came around.  My Daddy was very supportive of the idea because my weight has always concerned him.  My sister was intrigued more than anything.  She was oblivious to what lap band surgery was.  My friends were supportive.  My coworkers were jealous and tried to talk me out of it, all at individual times.  Only one coworker held my hand through the whole thing and she was the one that introduced me to the idea of WLS.  I love her for that.

Your sister is probably resentful that you'll get the reward of being thin without having to put in the same dieting efforts that she did.  Seeing how she's been down the dieting road successfully, she probably wants everyone to suffer like she suffered to get the same finish line prize.  It's understandable.  But she's got to come to grips with the fact that your surgery is not going to be that easy.  That stuffing yourself with vitamins and pureeing your food for weeks isn't a good time.  Maybe you should invite her to a support group meeting and have her watch the hell that you'll have to go through.

Best of luck!