How do you adjust after surgery?

So how have those of you who've had your WLS and are at or near goal (or have lost a significant amount of weight) adjust to how people treat you now? How has it changed? Do you notice people who wouldn't look at you now looking at you? Do you get more attention now? And how do you deal with this new-found attention? Just some thoughts that are on my mind since I'm getting a surgery date on Tuesday.

That's a good question...It took a long time for me to actually accept that I was changing. While peoople were making comments about how much I had shrunk - I just didn't feel it. It has only been recently that it really has started to sink in. I don't really feel like people are treating me much differently, just treating me as me. I have always been a really outgoing, easy to get to know person though.  One thing that's wierd though is that I have a lot more confidence now. I don't feel like people are neccessarily looking at me more, but it is hard to tell. I'm married with children so I don't ever really spend anytime in environments where I might be hit on or anything like that. I can say though that like today for example I was at the mall and I saw a lot of attractive people and for maybe the first time didn't feel like there was no reason I shouldn't be attractive to anyone else. I was actually noticing a lot of people are bigger then me now, which is a completely alien feeling to me. Before surgery the only people larger then me were super obese.  All I know now, is that I need to get some clothes that fit to complete this transformation, but I'm holding out until my weight stabilizes....I guess I'm rambling and not really answering the exact questions you asked. Tommorow,  I'm going to see about 30 people who haven't seen me since before the surgery because I was living in SC at the time and now I'm back in Arizona. So I will try to pay attention to how they are treating me and get back to you!

BTW - I checked out a bunch of your pictures the other day and you are an AMAZING photographer! That is something I have always wanted to take a class in. Check out some of my very amateur photos on my google picasa site...http://www.picasaweb.google.com/mbialowitz

Thanks for the reply; I know how others treat you has a bit to do with how you treat and think of yourself, but even so, there are people who just look and talk to you differently than they would a thin person; and I feel that from people (very sensitive to what others are thinking/feeling). And thanks also for the compliment on my photography; I'm very self critical, so I only post what I feel is my VERY BEST work...anything else is "crap". I looked at your photos too; very nice. Cute munchkins.  And Arizona is on my places to go list. :)

I went through phases - at first it was just really nice to be noticed and appreciated (yes, it went from 0 attention/notice to hardly EVER opening a door for myself, getting asked out/hit on all of a sudden, people wanting to work with me on things and all kinds of crazy stuff that never happened before), but then I got to thinking about WHY I was getting better treatment and I got angry and resentful - I mean I was a cool person BEFORE surgery, right?  Then I realizes that before surgery I certinally didn't think I was worth noticing, so why should I have expected anyone else to think I was?  What changed more than anything was my attitude about myself and about other people.  I have become more accepting, more compassionate, more optimistic, more out going - so of course people are going to be attracted to that.  I'm not saying it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the weight loss because for sure it does, but it also has a lot to do with how I have changed and brightened up as a person.   My best advice to you about this is - learn to take a compliment.  Be graceful and don't argue with someone who comments on how well your weight loss is coming.  Don't read too much into it either - if someone says something like "You look so much healthier now" that does not translate to mean "You looked really lethargic and pathetically ugly before" - it just means that you're looking healthier.  I hope that makes sense.  There is a lot of wasted energy not letting others validate you when they are trying to.   I'll be praying that you have a successful surgery and a smooth recovery!  Keep us updated!

if someone says something like "You look so much healthier now" that does not translate to mean "You looked really lethargic and pathetically ugly before" ROFL. Thanks Amy. I needed that! I'm glad you're feeling better, by the way!

Hi Meg! I'm almost at goal... Although I was never given a solid goal, I want to be as close to 175 as possible lol.

Adjusting is the hardest thing for me. The attention is overwhelming, to say the least. Before... I was noone (at least in my own head) so never really paid attention if anyone ever saw me for me, etc. Now that I've gone through the round of plastics to remove my panni, the attention has supercharged. Yes... its a rush at first, I admit it. But after a while, the constant looks, the smiles, the flirty glances, I get super uncomfortable and fall back into my fat girl shell- where its all safe. I've made my own realization while trying tp help you! Wow. *Lightbulb*

I'm still learning to deal with the attention... I know that I deserve the good attention and some people are just pigs lol. I'm with Amy on learning to accept the compliments.... It is super hard to do, at least for me, because I've never been on the receiving end of appearance compliments. Its just odd, lol.

I'm kind of rambling... but I hope you get the gyst of my post lol.

Jaci

I guess a lot of it is realizing that you're still the same awesome person, and always WERE deserving of attention; and you just get around to feeling like it now, eh? Thanks for the thoughts!

My random thoughts lol.

I have noticed a lot of changes in the way people respond to me! More people open doors for me, ask me "how does this look" in a dressing room, start up random conversations in public where before they would have never noticed me. My state ID looks nothing like me anymore. People ask how did you loose "all that wieght". I always tell the truth, I had gastric. At the bank the other day, the teller showed my ID to several other tellers and kept saying "wow doesn't she look different, you look great now". Which translates into "you looked like **** before!". I am okay with all of it! I try to still be nice and smile to people just like I always have. I know I looked bad and felt bad before that is why I had the surgery. The only negative thing for me is that I was surprised how much strength or power I had in my weight. I have always worked in the field of social science in peolpe's homes. I notice that I do feel a lot more vulnerable now when I am out and alone going into clients' homes. I know now I could not defend myself like I used to feel like I could. Overall a great choice for me with surgery! Holli