My brother keeps trying to talk me out of surgery!

My brother and I are very close (twins) and He is very tall and skinny,  But it wasn't always like that.  He lost weight by doing karate and stuff like that.  I told him that I am going to have surgery, Only because we are so close.  He flipped out and started telling me how to do it "on my own"  I listened to him and just ignored it.  Its been bothering me.  Now everytime I see him he tells me that he doesn't think I should do it..  It breaks my heart that one of the most important people in my life is not supportive. Last night he was ranting about it (mind you I never bring it up)  and I told him, "Don't try to talk me out of it, I am going to do it"  That shut him up but I feel Terrible. How did you handle this?

It is your decision. Does he want you to be healthy and around longer? Maybe you have to show him some success stories to make him not worry so much. That's what I had to do. I had people left and right saying that it was risky and that i may die. duh, do you not know that I have done my research? Whatever happens we are all here for you!!!

All I had to do is send my relatives to the website my clinic has..It talks about why for the overwhelming majority of morbidly obese people surgery is really the only option that works LONG TERM...Your relatives mean well, it is just that unless someone takes their time to REALLY find out the details about bariatric surgery, they will be filled with false information because they have probably heard  a lot of horror stories about it - and we always remember the sensational stuff! For every bad outcome there is at least 95 good outcomes... Anyway their is a TON of info about "Why Surgery" out there online, but if you want you can check out http://www.dukewls.org This also might be a good quetion to throw out in the Main Forum - you will get a ton of ideas from all the responses you will get..or do an OH search on the topic because the question has been discussed hundreds of times on here. Hope this helps, good luck with your bro...

Thank you for the site,  I am def gonna have him check out somethings online.  I have gave him my papers and pamphlets but he thinks hes right..   grr makes me want to beat him up. LOL Just kidding. I posted this on the Lap Band forum and have got some great responses.. Just the support I needed. OH is great

He's a guy..   most of them dont get it..  they think because it just falls off for (most) of them, it will fall off for us. Both of my brothers were supportive.. I was kinda shocked.. but they know that I am not the stereotypical fat person (aka sits on the couch all day eating and watching soaps) And they knew I had tried many different way to lose it..  My husband was supportive as well..  My father..  well it freaked him out.  He was worried for me, thinking I would die.. but once I gave him the information, and pointed out people that had it before.. and showed him how well it worked for them.. he was okay with it. I believe he is just scared for you... Direct him to the site.. give him the profiles of some of the "losers" on the Band board and he just might see the light.

Has he given you reasons why? Maybe he just needs a little education... Id invite him to a support group or a seminar and make sure he has all the facts and proper information. Deep down he could just be worried for you :-)

Ahh punkgurl. It will be okay. One thing I would do is let him know your feelings and how important it is to you that he is supportive. He is probably afraid since you mostly hear horry stories about weight loss surgery.

The only people that I told were my close friends and they did not agree with my decision but they supported me. Now they see me and are amazed and tell me to not become stuck up. hehehe I think they understand why I did it now and are happy for me because they can see my happiness. It is a great feeling. You are doing this for you and not for any one else.

 

~Diana~

Hey Sheila - I'm with Jennifer K.  Invite him to a support group meeting or something.  Get him familiarized with the whole process and show him how safe WLS can be.  He's just against it because of the horror stories that lurk about. Also, he's seen his own success and thinks you can have the same if you tried karate, or whatever.  He'll come around.