Pre-operative and Crestfallen.

So I've done it all..i've gotten the tests and the labs and the evaluations necessary. I've picked my surgeon, I've talked over the whole program and made a decision. He says, "lose 30 lbs and then we'll schedule the surgery" I say, "well, that'll be difficult, but i'm so gung-ho that i'm totally going to do it" So I start out all gung-ho, all psyched up to do this. I jump on Atkins and work my hardest. I don't cheat at all. Not even once. I stop smoking at the same time (I don't recommend starting atkins and stopping smoking at the same time) I work my ass off...because even though EVERYTHING else i've ever tried before has failed, surely this will work, because it's just my willpower. Obviously I didn't succeed before because I just didn't work hard enough. I go, I do this for a solid 5 weeks. My PCP's scale says I've lost 13 lbs. I go there, his scale says i've lost 8 So of course I turn into a blubbering teenager and get all emotional and start crying because I'm certain he just doesn't understand how difficult this is. I feel like i'm putting my life on hold and working towards a goal that I can't really see. I'm still doing what I need to, still on a diet, but I can't weigh myself on my scale because it doesn't register me (oh the joys of being super morbidly fat). I have been so disheartened and discouraged since that day that I don't even know how to pick it up again. I've almost convinced myself that it's just never going to happen. I've been seriously hardcore depressed and no matter how many pep talks or success stories i hear/see/read..it just doesn't help. I even want to withdraw from this place now because i don't feel like i'm on the right track. How do you deal with this sense of hopelessness.

Have you thought of going to a different surgeon? If it was that easy for you to lose 30 lbs, then you probably wouldn't need this surgery.

Hi Kristin, I completely fell where you are coming from!!! I don't have to lose 30lobs, but, my surgeon told me 10-15. I've only lost 3 and my pre-op final appointment in next Thursday. I'm terrified!!! I keep telling myself it'll be fine, it's TOM weight or, 3lbs is good. I weigh myself tomorrow to see if I've made any improvement. I am positive you can do it!!! 8lbs is wonderful on any scale! And that's 8lbs you took off by yourself. Ask him if the 30 is steadfast. If it's not aim for 15 and tell him to schedule your surgery because you will definitely take it off!!! Drink loads of water and walk more. That's what my skinny friends push and it's helping so far (well I think it is.) wishing you luck, and it'll be fine!!! have faith meegan

I have thought about going to a different surgeon, but not seriously. I really want to go to mine, i have a lot of faith in his skill. Besides, i've gone through the ENTIRE list of things to do already with this office. And He didn't say it was steadfast, but he thinks i can do it and doesn't feel like the months long wait is bad, as i am making progress. He just doesn't realize how urgently i feel about this. I guess all i can do it keep trying, but i am just so discouraged right now that it's driving me crazy.

Kristin, Im sorry you feel so discouraged. I have a couple of suggestions that may help. You said that you are faithfully going Atkins. Maybe you could try to cut back on the portion size? Also, I'm not sure if you're working out, but that has always helped me a ton. Even if you walk for 20 min. a day it helps. Well, those are just a few of my suggestions...hope they help! Best of luck! Courtney

Thanks. I'm trying to do more exercise, I havea feeling that's the key. It's difficult because my body is still recovering from an embolism earlier this year, but I figure I just have to do what i can. I'm walking a lot.

Wow. Thank GOD Im not the only one. I am in almost the same boat as you. My surgeon's program requires you to lose between 5-10%, which is SOOO hard for me. I've been in the program for two years and according to their scale have only lost 12lbs. I need to lose between 19-36 before the team will even consider letting me meet with the surgeon!! I've been so frustrated and hopeless and every time I bring it up with someone they insist that Im being ridiculous and that it will be good for me. I've been struggling in this program for TWO YEARS now!! If it was that easy for me to lose weight then I wouldnt need surgery! But this is the closest I've been so hopefully in the next month I will make it to at least 19, only 7 more pounds to go. Just stick with it and hang in there- you WILL make it. GOODLUCK!! But I know exactly how you feel and what your going through so email me any time if you want to talk. Oh and if anyone gives you the answer to dealing with hopelessness then fill me in because I feel stuck as well.

I'm glad someone else feels my pain. I think it's bad that they won't even see you until you lose the weight though, that seems sorta working against you. You're getting there though, all you can do is try your best and do it. It sounds like you're doing pretty well. IF i do find out the secret though, you'll be the first to know.

Hi Kristin, I don't have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to tell you that even at 400 lbs you are very pretty Good luck!

Thanks. Luckily my mother always stressed to me that thin doesn't equal beautiful and she always told me how beautiful I was. I mean, moms are supposed to do that, but it really helped with my self-esteem.