I think I'm making myself crazy....

Hey yall... I find that the closer I get to actually having WLS (lap RNY or LapBand for me..final decision next month) the more I seem to debate if it's the right thing to do. I go too all the WLS failure boards and do google searches for WLS failing and stories about people dying from WLS. I know I'm just succeeding in freaking myself out with all this, but I just wanted to know if this is normal behavior. (Well...I know it's not "normal" but maybe some of yall did the same thing and all). I find that i debate with myself if RNY is "safer" than the LapBand and vice versa, even though I know they have similar risks and have read up on everything that I could possibly read up on for both. I think I'm going crazy...I make my fiancee listen to me when I tell him what I want done if I die. I find myself writing letters to my sons because I've scared myself so sh*tless with reading up on all the people who have died or suffered complications from WLS. Ughghghghghgh!!! Also...I just wanted to know if anyone had resources (be it a website or a book) regarding long-term (like after 10 years) statistics or complications or successes of RNY?? My doctor says that it's a newer proceedure and that it would be hard to come across but I was just curious since I'm still a little confused about getting the LapBand or the RNY. I know it's a personal decision but I just wanted to know how everyone else chose their type of surgery. Thanks...I know I sound psycho and everything...but as my date comes closer I get more and more freaked out because I tell myself I'm young and I don't want to die and I have two sons that need me...lol. Thanks again...cause I really can't talk to anyone else about this, I only know one person who's gone through WLS and she hasn't really been a big part of her decision making, her dad basically made the decision for her.

Hi, Feel free to ask me anything... I had lap RNY on 8/8/05 and have lost about 115 pounds thus far! I only had the option of getting RNY and not the band... but for me, I know it was the right decision... I like that I am not able to tolerate sugars and carbs very well... That was one of the reasons I ended up at 286 pounds! I also liked that the surgery worked faster for RNY... when I thought about the lap band, I wasn't sure i liked the idea of having something foreign object in me... I hope this helps, and if you have any questions or would like to talk feel free to email me! Thanks! Bridget 286/166/140

Hey Bridget... Thanks so much for letting me know I'm not going psychotic...lol. I am looking at the lap RNY, also. I actually felt the same way about the Lap-Band...I probably wouldn't do too well with a foreign body in me either. I have a lot of allergies and I was afraid I would reject the band and have to have it removed. I know I NEED this, but I think I freak myself out by deliberately looking and seeking the negatives in it. I've been studying WLS for about 1 1/2 to 2 years and I know it's what I need to do. *sigh* Hopefully I can stop freaking myself out...lol...and thanks again. Dana

You arnt going crazy... you are being normal !! I have surgery on the 20th of this month. I too went thru a crazy point and am much better now. I wrote out a will, a living will and wrote a few letters to people close to me "just in case". It made me feel better after doing some of those things because the way my life goes... if I am prepared for it it doesnt happen I dont think you are going to find much for 10 years and beyond... they really dont know. My friend said, Id rather have this surgery and be happy and healthy for 30-40 years... then live for 60 more years at 360lbs. Thats something she said thats always stuck with me. Do I want to walk around as I am now for a long time or walk around a lot healthier and happier. Its alllllll about quality baby! She just had her 4 years annerversary two weeks ago and what she had to say was that at this point her keeping weight off is all her, she has to be very concious of what she eats and exercise or she will gain weight back. As for people dieing or having complications... you could walk out tomorrow and get hit by a bus... you know the saying... chit happens! In years you could have obesity related health issues and have to go thru treatments/surgerys for that. Basically, you just never know what will happen! It is important to know what you are getting into... but try not to let it scare you too much! As for choosing the surgery type... my insurance only covers RNY. I learned about lapband and RNY and decided lapband just wasnt for me. I felt that I wouldnt have as much success on lapband and also didnt like the idea of having it in. Thats just me I felt that I have tried so many things that I needed to do something more *drastic* than the lapband.

Thanks =) I've been writing letters to everyone who's important to me and I think I will have a will done. At first as I was looking through the memorial board and the other deaths from WLS I thought it was just really high BMI's, lots of co-morbidities and older people that had the most problems. I started REALLY freaking out when I read about 5 profiles of people in their 20's with young kids that died. That just did me in...lol. But I think it was just a phase...I'm starting to calm down now...lol. But for a week all I could do was go on-line looking for everything to convince myself not to do it. *deep breath* thanks so much though.... dana

I think you are normal. I researched and made a decision to have WLS over the course of 1 and 1/2 years. I saw my father go through it and saw the pros and cons and decided that I wasn't getting any younger and it didn't look that hard, so I went for it. I was not scared until hours before surgery and I have never regretted it. My suregry was a breeze, recovery was not that bad and I have had no complications. I believe that going into this with a positive attitude and being sure you are making the right decision for you is the key. I wish you all the luck in the world. I am 6 months out and so very happy. I have lost 71 lbs to date and I am thrilled with the new me. Please contact me if you want to talk. I am 28 years old. ~Carla

Carla.. Thanks...I've been researching WLS for about the same time as you did. The only thing is I saw a friend go through it and totally fail. She ended up only losing 30 pounds over the year and is now gaining weight back. I know that she is most of the reason she has failed...she says that sometimes the only thing that goes down easily is the bad things (sugars, sodas and ice creams) and barely does any type of excersize. I think in part, too, it's really hard for her to have to answer people when they ask how much weight she lost and she has such a low number that she began to set herself up for failure. Congrats on the weight loss! I can only pray to be as successful as most of you up on OH. I'm excited though...just scared. I guess that's as normal as possible though...lol. Dana

Dana, Hang in there. Something must have happened with your friend's surgery- I really don't see how anyone could fail. I was afraid I wuld fail at the beginning. I have been on every diet you can think of and I would lose weight only to gain it back- but this is so different. I have been so successful! I have lost 71 lbs in 6 months and I am so happy! I feel great! I have not been able to eat sweets, sodas, ice cream. I have tried a couple of things and they made me feel horrible and sick, so I haven't tried them again. This is a lifestyle change. I am so thankful that I don't want sweets or bread anymore- they were my weakness. I now have a control over food that I never had before, and it is empowering! You will do great, I just know it. The best advice I can give is to shoot for the stars and hang on for the ride. The ups and downs are a rollercoaster, but don't obess- just when you think you are done, it jump starts again and the pounds melt away. Don't give in to temptation- thin feels so much better than fat tastes. When you think you can't live without it- chew gum or get out of the fridge. I find myslef staring in the fridge and pantry only to close the door empty handed... It is a great feeling! You are so normal- just hang in there. Love, Carla

I just got my surgery date, and I too felt crazy about it all. The reactions I got and the feelings just started to overwhelm me. But while I still feel like I'm being emotionally pulled in about 8 million directions, I know that I would rather be happy and thin and emotionally secure about what I see in the mirror, than ever have to resort to self-depreciating fat jokes again! There is this stupid saying, nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. My skinny friends haven't the foggiest idea what I am talking about. It's not about fitting in, it's about being me. or, you! There is something I have been doing that has helped me out a lot! and i think it would help you to....be confrontational!! confront all the resources you have, either online or at a support group or the dr's office. I made a very active decision, and was quite the pest when it came to details. I also have a binder of all the info i have recieved, including info from the internet and surgeon' s office, and newspaper clippings. the harvard womens health journal validates the necessity of wls, in findings from last month. They sid that diet and excersize alone isnt enough for morbidly obese people. Organization, while a little on the anal retentive side, helps me to re-evaluate my choices. at first, i was only interested in the lapband, but thru research found that the rny is more commonly done, with fewer complications for my own individual co morbidities. I also have seen my PCP, a psychologist, a dietician, and an endocrinologist. Since these are req'd by my surgeon, its an added bonus to discuss with them the things i need to know. meet with some of those types of people (especially a psychologist who has experience with patients who have gone thru wls, and a dietician to discuss your own personal needs) and you'll be able to get enough info to make an educated choice. Sorry for my novel, but I just wanted to give you some advice based on my personal experience. I wish you luck!

I have a binder too...lol! But I know in the future I will reference it and be glad I was "anal retentive" (as you labled it...lol). I mean, I know if I have a problem that someone else may have experienced I can be more knowledgable about the situation should I need to contact a doctor or determine if it's an emergency or not. Plus...I've been collecting recepies and taking note of the type of products people are recommending once they've moved over to the losing side. Thanks so much though...everyone has been such a help. Dana P.S. I love your pic caption on your profile...lol. I feel the same way.