Tari,

You need to tell him what you told us! Everyone has insecurities about their bodies, especially having loose skin. Most of us do, by major weight loss or age. (I don't know how old you are.) Even people we think have amazing bodies have something they are insecure about. Has he seen you naked? Too personal a question? When I hated to be seen naked in front of my husband, I had a pannilectomy. Not a full tummy tuck by a plastic surgeon, it was only the skin removal of my low hanging stomach, by the doctor who took out my gallbladder. I felt it was a necessary, as I was wearing a size 8 and tucking in my skin that hung way below my pubic area. Sounds sexy, hu.

I wore a bikini....in the tanning booth :)

My husband looks, we all look at beaches, you just can't touch! He is with YOU, not them!! Talk to him and tell him how even though it's joking around, it bothers you. If he is the right guy for you, he will get it.

Enjoy your summer!

Kelly

What is perfect? What are the numbers?  I am asking because for 2 tpyears my docs were telling me "your numbers are good" while I felt like I was dying.... 

Only after a vet from here checked my numbers (i asked for copy) she told me what was wrong and why. 

Unless you yourself look at the numbers and know what you hard looking at - the doc "They are fine" does not mean a thing to me.  

I.e. my iron, ferritin, D, proteins, B12...were normal - but barely normal... So even though technically I was not deficient - I was not functioning very well... I was tired, low anergy, etc.  Plus some where not tested. I had to add and insited they would be tested every year. 

What are your numbers? What are you currently taking ? What and how much ? I.a - taking iron and calcium together May prevent your body absorbing iron. 

D3 - in blood work works best at least 50 - 80.... Some people like it close to 100..and if in were in your shoes - I would aim for that. 

Because of RNY - for better absorbtion - we need dry form (water soluble) of bit D3, k2, or A. 

Are you taking D3? How much? What about calcium with magnesium? We need citrate calcium and magnesium. 

How about B12? I feel best with my B12 Over 800.. When it drops to 500 I feel slugish... 

Sad but our bodies age just the same as anyone's who has not had WLS. In other words as we age we need less calories and need to adjust accordingly. I had my surgery at age 64 and the weight has been very slow coming off despite my walking 6-8 miles every day.  Never eat more than 1000 cals and often only 700-800. NO complaints though, best thing I ever did for me. Without the surgery I would still be struggling at 250lbs. Feel better than I have in yrs.

I'm feeling pretty lazy tonight so I'm just copying the text from one of my prior "regain" posts.  My answer is still the same regardless.  And fortunately for me I've yet to have a third regain which I know is probably 99& attributable to continuing with the following so here you go:

"1) The number on the scale.  Resolve to yourself that you will not, under any cir****tances allow it to go higher.  Give yourself a couple of weeks at that number, to reassure yourself that yes, you can hold the line and you do know how to stop the gain.  Do whatever it takes. Stop the disappointment of stepping on the scale and seeing even a .2 pound gain.  You can do this.

2) Meat.  Protein. Non-starchy veggies.  The end.  That's what you feed your body until you are back where you want to be.  It's not forever, but it will take awhile and I actually think that's a good thing.  By the time you are back to goal you'll have truly integrated that way of eating.  No diets.  I don't count calories or proteins or carbs or anything.  (Other than sugars - because of severe dumping and RH.  But sugars won't be much of a part of your life while you are losing.)  I'm not dieting. I didn't go through surgery to spend my life dieting. I just eat differently now.

3) Fluid.  Get in as much as you can. I typically drink two to three liters of water a day.  That's on top of  my diet coke (yes, I drink it daily) and anything else I might drink.  It's imperative to flush out built up toxins and keep them flushed out.  You don't want a bunch of sludge in your body but if you're not drinking enough water I can guarantee you've got a lot of it.

4) Expect to lose slowly. About four or five pounds per month. It took awhile for you to re-gain 60 pounds.  Give yourself that long to lose it.  It sounds so desperately slow I know.  But slower is better.  As I said above, you're building in habits so that you won't be in this spot again.  We all know how to lose 30 pounds in month or whatever.  And we all know it takes only a week or two to come right back.  You are in this for the long term.  You will eat this way the rest of your life - with a little more wiggle room when you get to your goal.

5) So much of this is a head game.  We feel like since it's going to take a few months we will be in whatever size we are in right now, feeling horribly huge and discouraged,  until the whole  however many months are over.  We tell ourselves that it won't be until then that we feel and look better.  Wrong!  You will feel better  with every pound lost.  You will lose clothing sizes along with that horrible worthless feeling all throughout your journey.  Yes one day you will get on the scale and see the number you have been waiting for.  But things will just be getting better and better during the weeks or months or whatever leading up to that day.

6) Exercise if you want to.  Move your body every day even if you don't.  Not to earn extra calories to eat, or to burn extra calories.  Just because bodies need movement to avoid atrophy.  And because it feels good.  Walking is great and is all of the exercise I need to be successful.

So that is what I did.  Both times I've had to lose regain, that is how I've done it. Obviously I'm human because I had to learn the lesson twice and the second time was even more weight than the first!  Life happens and I don't think anyone here would deny that.  But we can change.  We can do hard things."

Hopefully this helps in some small way.   ~amy

What T said and also -  you may have a stretched out stoma or some such.  Most of this stuff needs to be diagnosed by a doc; it's not something you would know without having a basic test or two done.

With three children I would stay far away from the DS or any revision surgeries unless you know exactly what is wrong and what needs to be fixed.  I had surgery about a year after you did and have had big regains (one 40+ pounds and one 50+ pounds).  Both times I've been able to get the weight back off and I now weigh less than I did at my lowest honeymoon weight.  So you absolutely can lose regain if there is nothing physically wrong with your pouch or stoma.  It does take time but it can be done, and you don't have to diet at all to do it.

I'm with T.  Maybe check out the 5 day meat test (as long as it's approved by your OB).  That should give you a feel for how we need to eat as post op RnY's. 

Good luck to you.  If you have any questions about exactly how I lost the regain let me know and I'll lay it out for  you.  Revisions in my  mind should be the very VERY last option on the table - especially for mommies of little ones.  All surgeries are serious business.

Take good care,

amy