Not seeing yourself as you are.

I was out shopping today at lunch and stopped in at Ann Taylor. Picked up a skirt and blouse in two sizes (not that it really matters but a 10 & 8) I tried on the 8 and they fit perfectly. I went to the register and handed the sales lady the size 10 and said "I will take these." Even walking out of the store I knew I would end up returning the size 10 tomorrow and getting the 8's. Sometimes I revel, and then some days I just cannot convince myself that I have "arrived." Possibly a fear or regaining? or just wrapping your brain around your accomplishment?

I know totally what you mean. I am a size 8 but yet I have jeans in my closet that go up to an 11. That kinda depresses me. I have never been in single digit jeans in my whole life. But sometimes I hold them up and button them and say to myself, "My fat ass can't fit into these!" (When I just wore them the day before or are about to put them on). I get depressed if I have to buy an 11, but my best friend assures me that all jeans are made different and she read somewhere that you can have up to 3 different sizes by different makers in your closet. When I stand naked in front of the mirror, I can't stand it. I think I look huge. I know I looked huge before surgery and like so many of you said, I see the tags on my clothes, a small/med shirt and size 8 jeans but I can't believe they are mine. Recently due to other things in life, I started really eating again, and I mean everything. Now I feel like a psycho, because I feel so guilty, I step on the scale every day and get depressed cause I gained about 5lbs. I am looking into the aid of a mental health professional, because I need to know how to deal and not with eating. I did not put my self and my body through all this to mess it all up. I probably would have seen a professional anyway to try to help me with my body image.

What I do (and it at times is embarrasing) is ask women I think look small - what size are you - they will say a 10 - I'm in a 4 or 6 depending - skirts I can wear a 4 - if it has to go over my thighs it is a 6 (I have big thighs)...but I think boy they look small and then they are bigger than me - and when I look in the mirror I still see pretty big....I guess it takes a while...I don't know if I will ever get the right idea of size -

I always think my pants shrunk in the laundry and am bummed that they wont fit any more, but then they do.... My big turn around was only a month or 2 ago. I got some pre plastic surgery pics from a PS I had consulted with and when I looked at them and compared them to how I look now, well it was like a light turned on, that yes, this is my body and I do get to keep it. before plastics I still felt very fat and blobby with skin hanging everywhere and it was making me crazy. I thought that after plastics I would feel different than I did. I lost sight of where I am and where I came from and got very caught up in being very critical of myself and my appearance. the last 3 1/2 years have been a roller coaster ride. so much happening so fast and even tho it has been good changes it takes its toll. It really does take time to integrate your new appearance into your self image and let it be a part of you! Bless you and hugs. It will come for you that you will look in the mirror and see the real you!

Funny I should see this post today. Yesterday I was shopping and I went to The Gap to look for jeans. A few weeks ago, I entered size 2 and I was amazed. So off I go to the dressing room to find size 2's left too much room in the legs and a big gap in the waist. I bought size 0. My sister said "Oh that's too thin". I did my BMI as the scale this morning said I dropped another 3 lbs this week although I'm not trying to lose more. It says I am still normal. My skinny minny SIL told me that she is a size 4/5 and I thought I was bigger than she was. I can't look in the mirror and see that I am that thin. Maybe I am. I know nude I feel ICKY. The skin on my arms hangs and the tummy area is horrendous, but trying to get PS will take awhile. Still, I can't see that I am as thin as I am. And I agree with Melissa Mermaid, putting the brakes on weight loss is a hard thing to concept. Aren't we trying to lose weight? At what point will we look in the mirror and say Ok, enough. And scarier is the thought of "eating more calories and carbs" to stop losing. We aren't supposed to be doing that...we're losers. That concept is going to take some work for me.