Why do we become complacent?

Its weird, I feel like the more "normal" looking I get the more complacent I am. I really don't like that state of being. I feel now I have to be more of a watch dog than before and I am not. What happens when the layers of fat leave? Do we say "hey I don't have to do 2 oz of this anymore I can eat normally? Between us, my plate looks like a serving to a person without WLS. I usually have 3-4 oz meat, 2oz of greens, 2-3 oz of pasta or potatoe for meals. Maybe its just my percepction that its a lot since 2 oz was all I could do for a long while. I don't want it to get out of control. The curbing of portion control has always been a problem for me in the past. When I am home I have my scale and I make my plate that way...when I eat out there is where the problem lies. I definitely don't eat everything that they bring to me on that plate but I know in my heart I am eating more of it. So grads what are you doing to make sure you have control over the portion sizes when you are dining out? I find with friends its harder because I don't want them saying...is that all you are going to eat? When do we get to the point in life where we don't have to explain our actions? But then again why do I feel I have to explain would be a better question to ask myself huh? I don't want to go back up in the scales so I want to be better at policing myself. Any tips or pointers of what you do would be helpful. Debbie

Debbie--Ya mean people who have had wls have problems with portion control? What an interesting problem. Oh girl--you are definitely not alone. I still say that for most of us it is a life long battle. My theory on this is that 'normal' is just not something that describes people who have had to have their innards rearranged in order to appear 'normal'. Re going out with people and having them ask about our portions--I am always out with people who have no idea about my surgery. Very rarely do people comment on my portions. Often people will ask me about my 'diet' and they always ask about South Beach or Atkins. I just tell them my focus is on protein. 'Normal" people do the same thing. Apparently that is part of what keeps them 'normal'. Good luck with the complacency thing. Happy Easter!

So it sounds like I will always be Pinnochio! Wanting to be a "Normal" girl but never be able to obtain it! I use the I get my protein in first line alot but its really hard to keep using it on people who know you had the surgery. I guess there are some that are still waiting for me to fail and I know it.....I don't want to be that person that they think I will be.....I want to be above that! Happy Easter to you too Linda! Enjoy this nice sunny day!

Your portions sound very good to me, If you lived on 2 oz meals forever, you would be very malnourished. To be honest, it is rare that anyone asks me about what I am or am not eating. I agree with being aware of what you are eating, and always eating mindfully. Focusing on the food and enjoying every bite. Where you will get into trouble is eating with out thought. I personally stopped even reading post on "what I ate today" because I felt some of them were either anorexic or understaing their intake. Over policing every bite that goes into your mouth is a problem too. I think it is natural and normal to get into a more relaxed stage. I have been doing this for 3 1/2 years and I know what to eat and how much, and my pouch controls my portions. When I think I may be eating too much I take a look at what others are eating (and am frequently amazed at what they can put away) and try to remember back to the dark ages and how much I ate then. It is important to keep in perspective that you can and will and should eat more down the road than you did as a new post op. Just be aware of making good choices and make it a daily habit that is ingrained into your routine. Be known as the person who eats healthfully. people respect that. most importantly EXERCISE every day.

Good post, willow! I really needed to read that...thanks!

Excellent reply, I agree 100% and exercise is VERY key!

I did find out about that mindless eating you are talking about a few weeks ago....Had a very bad week and did some pretzel eating then went to 6 oz chicken stir fry.....Never again! I am trying to work the exercise every day....I do get to gym 3-4 times a week but I should do better. Its a very important key to the WL! Thanks Debbie

Debbie, A friend at work had rny too, and she eats anything she wants - like a "normal" person. Her goal was to be "normal" and not have to watch every little thing again. I'm not that brave. I am having feelings like you've expressed - about being afraid of being too complacent. YOU WOULD THINK that after almost 2 years of having forced "good eating" habits, that it would stick and THAT would become more automatic, but it's not. And I have to make an effort to put limits on going overboard. One thing that makes portion control a little easier while eating out is to ask for a "to go" container to be brought out when the meal is served. Transfer 1/2 or more of the plate to the "to go" box so it's out of your immediate sight and ready to take home for leftovers. My friends don't ask any more about "is that all you're eating". Most of them are watching calories too, so taking 1/2 serving home for leftovers isn't all that unusal -- especially considering how large resturant portions are these days. We have a cafeteria at work and even the serving guy behind the counter knows my eating habits! When I get a burger it's without bread. Most often if he's making wraps or if they are serving nachos - I just eat the meat and cheese and leave off the fixin's because they take up too much room in my belly. Sometimes they serve philly cheesestakes and I don't get bread. At first he had a questioning look about leaving it off, u now when he puts my plate together he doesn't even ask! One thing to rememer that "normal" for us isn't the same as "normal" for the general public. Our "normal" has changed -- and that IS OK! I hope it gets better and we can both get used to what is now "MY NORMAL" (not society's) ! Best wishes! Regina

Regina, I like what you are saying here about NORMAL. I never looked at it that way. I guess we do have a different Normal than everyone else. And you are right...that is okay! I totally agree with the forced good eating habits. I feel like I have been doing that too. I just see some things creeping back that I don't want. Lucky for me I am looking and paying attention but what happens if I get to relaxed and do nothing? I so don't want that to happen. Thanks for the reply! Debbie

Debbie, I know what you are saying. I do not think of myself as normal nor do I ever expect to be. If I try that I will set myself up for failure. I am not normal. My routine has to be "my normal". Honestly I don't give a darn about other peoples routine. It does not apply to me. If they think mine is weird I do not care. I see a lot of humor in Others questions. I do not let it get under my skin. Do I mourn food and eating "normal"? Occassionally. Do I eat things I should avoid? Occassionally. This is my life. I do not restrict myself from everything I love. I try to allow myself some of it rarely but allow it and enjoy it. Maybe I would be even thinner if I was stricter but knowing me I would get resentful and go hog wild and self destruct. I hope this passes for you. I went into surgery with this attitude. It has served me well. I had birthday cake last night. A small piece. I looked at my guests and said, I might get sick or maybe not but tonight is my night and I am willing to take the risk. They laughed with me and I was fine. If I had gotten sick I would have quietly suffered and it would pass and that would be that. I have a wonderful group of support. Happy Easter! Laurie