I lost my way, trying to get back on track

HI to everyone! Well I am about 2.5 years out, my surgery was on 7/2/03 RNY at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago. I had no complications or anything and unfortunately I can eat just about anything! The first two years were a breeze, I was 180 at my lowest of low but reasonably think 185 is good for me. I still have a lot of excess skin on my tummy, arms and legs but thats another story. Anyhow, met my husband and we both put on about 15pds together as most married people do. However I when my skinny jeans started to get tight I knew I was in trouble. I am ashamed to say I got up to 215!! Yep leave it to me to gain weight. I have since started excersing like I used to and making better food choices and I am down to 197, I say I will not go back to the place where I was. I still cannot eat much meat, chicken makes me so so ill!! Steak maybe one bite, but its been the treats and cookies that got me in trouble. I guess I got ****y because I did the 26.2 marathon in 2004 and thought -HEY I got this thing licked. WELL I DONT'!! I am like a druggie, food is my drug. I have since gone back to my support group, doctors and support meetings to try to get a handle before it gets too late. I have discovered that when the food was gone, I started drinking(yes achohol and drinks) and when that went away , I started casual smoking and when that went away, it was shopping - then a vicous circle. Does anyone still have issues with food this far out?? I don't meet many people at this stage at my meetings or groups. I was always an excersier so it was not hard to get on track with that, but I keep finding myself trying to be "normal" with food, and I just cannot be like everyone else who does not have food issues. Trying to get back with the shrink but my insurance switched to this Magellan who will not let me see my regular shrink so I have still been looking for a shrink who deals with eating disorders in chicago that take my insurance. I would love to hear from anyone as far out as me with ideas on how to get back. My blood pressure has raised, my sugars have raised and I am really worried ....... did anyone have these things come back?? And how are you doing?? Thanks for listening... sorry so long!! Kim [email protected]

Hi Kim, I am Laurie. I will be 2 yr out on the 20th. You sound a lot like me. I can snack and it is something I always struggle with. I have not gained but I have only lost one pound in 6 months altho a few inches. I am an addict. Food, alcohol, pain and diet pills, and shopping! I have it all! I go to a 12 step program and it helps me deal with all of this. I realize this is not for everyone but it helps me and I am SURE I would be actively doing all of the above without it. It is free and it changed my life. I am now aware of how I try to stuff myself or compensate by acting out in this way. Just my experience maybe it will help someone else too. I post on the addictions board regularly. Laurie

As Laurie said, check out the addictions board . . . I've always said that food was my drug of choice . . . then I started enjoying beer . . . way too much. Transference. You transfer one addictive habit to another. I think a lot of us have addictive personalities, whether its shopping, cleaning, eatting . . . can't do anything in moderation. But you've taken the right step. Stop the weight gain now before it becomes unmanagable. One pound at a time! Good luck, and welcome back!

Kim Kim Kim Kim Kim.................sweetie you are NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I just posted something yesterday about my out of control weekend.... This was my post DOESNT MEAN YOU SHOULD!!!!!!!!!!! Hello Losers!!!!!!!!!! OMG I cant believe it but after being "GOOD" and following the "RULES" for almost 2 1/2 years for some strange reason I pick this weekend to test the pouch....This is what I found.....I dont dump like I used too....which kind of saddens me and I can eat.....I mean I can eat just like the rest of my family and friends....I cant eat what I used to eat which was an ABNORMAL amount of food in a sitting but I can eat so much more than I even thought I could.....Soooooooooo as I have read so many times from so many individuals..."Just because you can eat it....doesnt mean you should" Today is a brand new day...the scale is in a closet up high ( I will weigh myself next week) and I am back on track.......A VERY SCARY experience and a real eye opener...The surgery is a GREAT tool and so very powerful in the early stages of weight loss but HELL as time goes its magic sort of wears off... So heres to a new day my OH friends.....stay strong...keep the faith....and remember that most of us are addicts in recovery and the road to wellness can be acheived however it aint easy!!! livin and still learnin See Kim we all have our moments and the best thing to do is pick yourself up and start over...You dont want to be where you used to be and you ....only you can stop yourself...YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! Good Luck to you with peace and lots of hope stacey

You are not alone in your struggles. I am 2 yrs 3 months out from surgery and still struggling. I made a maintenance plan before I hit my goal that if I saw a 5 lb gain on the scale I'd go back to basics. Recently I've been wondering why that 5 lbs has to be a constant problem. OK the problem is when I see the goal weight again I think it gives me license to start eating carbs/sweets again, which results in gaining the 5 lbs back again. I think it's time to rethink my maintenance plan. We can do this with the right plan for each of us. We know what it took to lose the weight now we have to figure out how to keep it off once it's gone. I know for me it means eating very few carbs/sweets, so why do I keep going back to old habits? Dummy! The old habits and behaviors will only lead me back to where I was before wls. Yesterday I made a vow to myself that I am not going to ever have to lose that 5 lbs again. I am going to do whatever I need to do to keep it from coming back. We need to forgive ourselves for yesterday and start over today with the right plan for us. We've gained insight from our mistakes so if we apply what we've learned we can come out of this winners. Best of luck in losing the rest of your weight and then maintaining!

hey you ... I was just about to send you an email ... in fact I will!! Karyn

I too lost my way and made up my mind this morning to finding my way back. I know that I have to take it minute by minute and day by day. I started today with just having liquids and I pray to the Lord that I can remain on track. There are so many barriers that seem to trip me up as I travel this weight loss journey but I must use an alternate route other than destructive behaviors as food and overspending. Raven