please share your stories with me...

Tami, This is my opinion only, and I hope no one takes offense. If the only "problem" you have is obesity, and you have no other co-morbidities (problems caused by or made worse by obesity that may be life-threatening), then I say skip the surgery for now. You can always revisit the option at a later date, when your children are old enough that you don't feel like you are abandoning them by taking care of your own health, or when your medical problems caused by obesity scare you more than the possible complications. Like you, I "thought about" the surgery for years but my health was always excellent and I could never justify such a drastic step in my mind. Later, when I was faced with the possibilty of diabetes and chronic back and joint pain for the rest of my life, I knew that I needed some help, that I was ready to face the scary world and to commit myself to doing everything I could to making this surgery work for me. Others may tell you to have the surgery now before you develop other physical problems. That is their opinion and has its merit. I just don't believe that rearranging your insides is good "preventive" medicine. I have no regrets about my decision whatsoever, and not once since I made the decision have I wavered. I have had no WLS-connected complications, no back or joint pain since the weight started coming off, and my blood sugars remain in the normal range. I am not skinny and probably never will be but I feel great and consider my journey a continuing success. Good luck, Carole

i thank you for you honesty, and i agree with what you say, i just need to hear from an array of people and their stories, again i may have sounded harsh on my reply post but i was feeling like i was being attacked and i didnt really understand what she was trying to say to me, i do thank you! tami

Tamico, Results may vary for Men and Women, So I'm not of much help. But I went from 385 to 179 Holding there below goal for over a year now. And I'm healthier now than I was over the last 30 years. Although, It wasn't an "easy" trip starting out. Checkout my profile For some- "this could be the results good and bad" If you are looking for ALL perspectives. Hope you find the info and experiences you are looking for... Best Wishes- Dx

wow..... this is a general post to all, thanks to the people who just tried to answer my original post... but for the ones who are telling me to post somewhere else, well i have and i will not bother you with my questions again and i was not trying to get someone to tell me not to do the surgery or to do it, i just wanted to hear about what you went through good or bad, and i think if you were new to a board and got a reply like i got from karen the no bull ****er then i think you would have felt the same way! i have been to a lot of boards and have never been treated like this. so i assure you i will not post again! tami

You do yourself a great disservice by disrespecting this wonderful group of people and alienating yourself from their knowledge. If you do not like a particular response, walk away. Take what you need, plenty has been offered. These people have been there and done that, and even amongst themselves agree to disagree sometimes, but are always supportive. You were not told to go away, you were given other sources and avenues to get more information other than what's already been posted here. (I am generally not an instigator or one to feed the fire and I will take my own advice now and walk away.) Michelle

What Karen was telling you was make "YOUR" decision. All too often, the obese feel that have no control over their lives. In a backhanded way, it also allows them to avoid being responsible for their lives. Someone or something else is to blame for their weight. You seem quite well informed; you appear to be waiting for something or someone to make your decision. In the world of the grads, we know that it's "All In" or walk away from the table. We have no exit strategies, no excuses, no one to blame. We will win this fight for ourselves, not for our kids, our friends, or our spouses or partners. WLS may not be right for you, here and now. It may not be for you ever. I am not in your shoes. In the dark night of your soul, I will not be there to fight your battles. You and you alone must make this decision based on the information at hand in conjuction with the value set you have developed and out of which you conduct your affairs day in and day out. If I were in your shoes, after having evaluated the situation for two+ years, I would retreat, get off by myself to reflect upon what I know and what I believe and make a decision that I can live with. Once having made that decision, stand up and start walking in that direction. Nowhere Man/PH/Jay (Indicently, threatening to stomp off will not be met with folks begging you to stay. Its not that way around here. You and and only can choose to say or to depart)

Check your mailbox for the fan club kit...complete with life size poster (5'3", 126#) and personalized signature in glow in the dark colors! Thanks Jay...and keep that fan mail coming! Karen

What's next? Bobble-Head Karens? One on the dash of my pickup, showing me the way? While I pondered if you of all people needed defending, I did want to be sure that the original poster understood the ground rules of the grad world. It's "Total War", not just to lose gracefully, not to make a good faith effort, it's gird-your-loins-and-strap-on-the-weapons-and-charge-to-the-sound-of-the-guns kind of life. We shall come home in triumph or we shall be carried back on our shields. There is no alternative. Read Henry V's speech on the eve of the Battle of Angicourt. Too literary? How bout speech given before the ending battle in the film "Independance Day" http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechindependenceday.html Private Nowhere Man reporting for Duty, General Karen Let's lock and load a few and get it on.

The extent of my absorbable literary reference for this evening begins and ends with Judy Blume's "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret". As for the more mundane celluloid references...I can only muster the banal "Toga! Toga!" You have fought the good fight...we all have, in the end we know what it takes and we rest our heads knowing that failure is not an option. May tomorrow bring the promise of those who understand that our words are far more than characters in an email, that we mean what we say because we are an army that carries the scars of battle and the memories of the lives we left behind! Lights out!

Those who wasted the gift of Today, now lay restlessly upon their beds, tossing and turning, wondering what could have been, might have been, should have been. Those few who fought the good fight during this very same day know best the blessing that the night affords. Rest well, be refreshed to rise and do it all again, and do it gladly! Jay