Shoudl I just 'give up'

Love yourself no matter your number on a scale. you have succeded very well. you definatley have beaten the avaerage for a wls patient. first you were doing a big job growing a new human being for many months. WOW!!!!! You gained the right amount of weight. You had a healthy beautiful baby, something many people will only dream of. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I am one who wavers between my obsession w/ the scale and fear of regain and feeling that numbers should not be important. I did not go into this with a specific goal other than to be less than 200 pounds, get off blood pressure meds and feel better. I have met all those goals. My dr said to just see where my body settles in a comfortable weight. he said I would have a series of plateaus and would eventually hit the last one, then probably regain about 10% of what I lost. I am really greatful now that he did not give me a number to shoot for. I am only 4'11" and weigh in at 135 most days. My lowest weight was 125 after plastics, I dropped to 120 for a millisecond while I had an illeus and didn't eat solid food for a week. when I got well I went back to 125. Then I started working out hard. weight lifting, cardio and yoga. rapidly gained 8 pounds. all my measurements stayed the same. I had more plastics a couple months ago and am still retaining fluid so I m up a couple more pounds. So techniquely I have had a regain. But ya know I consider 130 - 135 to be my best wieght so I see my self as "at my goal" According to the charts I am over weight w/ a BMI of 27. I should drop 20 pounds by that criteria. I decided whoever came up with the weight charts obviously was smoking crack. I am not going to try to lose 20 more pounds. I am at a weight I can eat like a normal human, not starving myself, and am maintaining it with a lifestyle I think I can live with for life. That is important. Life is too short to spend it agonizing and struggling for something that is unrealistic and probably not even healthy. I think attitude accounts for a lot. I personally have had years of self loathing for my shortcomings. I have decided enough is enough. It is time to start treating myself as well as I treat others. I have had to do a lot of thinking and hard work in therapy and am struggling to be healthy in mind and spirit as I am in body. Recently I posted about some research I had done on eating disorders iI am going to repeat part of it here. 3/13/2006 I was recently doing some reading on eating disorders after listening to a program on the radio about a book called "Just a little too thin" about how to identify if your daughter has or is starting to have an eating disorder. I didn't know much in detail on any of them. I know I have many issues w/ eating. I am an emotional eater and am working on that. As I was surfing the net I found pro-ana and pro-mia sites that support anorexia and bulemia not as eating disorders but as a lifestyle choice. I looked thru some of those sites and to be honest, I felt like I was reading some of the posts from this (OH) web site. It has really made me think long and hard about what I am reading and seeing and how I let it affect my thinking. I have had to kind of back up and look at my choices and how I feel about myself and my eating. Much "food" for therapy. I OFTEN let my food choices affect how I feel about myself and the control or lack of control I have with regards to eating. My strict desire to control is exactly what anorexics have, they are just more disciplined in following thru. I recently also read a book called "how much does your soul weigh" by Dorie McCubbrey. she is a Dr (PhD) who treats eating disorders and is recovered from an eating disorder herself. It has exercises in it that help you look at your diet habits and the emotional stuff that goes with it all. get rid of the "diet" mentality, and unrealistic goals. I highly recommend it. I feel it is important to share and support each other with kindness to be well and healthy. However I don't think it is real possible to get recovery from an eating disorder with out some kind of professional help and support. I offer you much support and hope you find a decsion that make you feel happy, healthy and in love with yourself as you so much deserve!!

Sherry, Totally understand....I kinda went through this a few months ago. With alot of support from my support family and OH buddies I was able to start coping with it. I am not completely done with it but hey we are a work in progress. You have a lot of buddies here too that have given you lots of good stuff! It was very nice to read this post and all the replies. It started to reinforce all the stuff that I was told. We can't be just a number to be NORMAL. I still hate that word NORMAL. (But I am learning to live with it.) They are thoughts that do require coping skills for me. But with the help of others I am starting to learn some of the coping skills needed to deal with this problem so I can continue to be a healthier person! I didn't realize how badly I was obsessing over the number until around December. I did the big funk and others could tell things got really dark in my postings and my life. I don't need the darkness there is so many other things in life that make me happy. I am now focusing on them. You have a wonderful family and have done alot in your life too! Just remember you ARE A SUCCESS! And when you need a reminder of this look at those lovely pics of you and your family! Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

I am 22 lbs from goal. I am starting to think...it might not come off....as dedicated as I am...I have some issues withe the last 20 lbs or so. It is no easy road. I am thinking of doing some cardio by running on a treadmill at the gym. Cardio exercise I think is the key to the losing the last few lbs. Sandy in Tucson

I struggle daily with "giving up" and not trying to lose these last stubborn pounds. One day I'm okay where I am, the next day I'm not. What I'm trying to do right now is to firm up and get healthy. I've joined Mercy's Wellness Center and have been working with a personal trainer. I'm doing water aerobics and wt training. I can't believe how much better I feel and how much more energy I have. I have fibromyalgia so fatigue is a constant problem. So while I still want to lose these last few pounds, I'll settle for a toned, firm body. But I sure would like to be under 150 on a doctor's scale just once! I am at home in my birthday suit, but you can only take off so much in the doctor's office! So my advice is that I don't have any. We each have to make peace with our own bodies. No matter what the scale says. Lyn

Sherry After reading your post what concerns me more than the weight is your emotional status....I have suffered with depression for years and years and years ...Mine came into play heavily after the of my First Born Son who is going to be 23 this year...I hid my depression (atleast I thought I covered it up...HAHA) for so so so so many years ...it affected EVERYTHING in my life including my weight....The first thing you need to concentrate is getting your mental health in order and then hopefully other things will fall into place... Good Luck to you with love,peace and hope stacey

Hello my old friend, Sherry!!! I think the biggest thing I am learning along the way of this journey is that we should NEVER give up (even while putting that next M&M in our mouth)!! I am totally seriously here ya know!! I think you will do just fine in time when you get yourself where you want to be emotionally and I know you will do just that too. Now I hope I am making sense. Good to see you on today and hope you are doing well with the new bundle of joy!! Your bud....Cap'n K-man