Shoudl I just 'give up'

on my personal goal weight; or, should I just try to keep plugging away, try to reach it and worry about maintaining my weight then? First off...I KNOW that success does not rely upon a number on a scale; but, on the number of co-morbs improved and/or eliminated. Unfortunately, I am one of the (hopefully so!) few that very co-morbids have improved, even after almost 2 1/2 years following open RNY. When I say give up; I do not mean to start eating anyting/everything I want ...I'm just needing to know if I should accept myself 'as is'; and, realize that without reconstructive surgery, I will just never get to my personal goal. Please do not take me wrong when I say this; but I took a hiatus from actively trying to lose weight for a little over ten months during the pregnancy of my daughter, who is now slightly over four months old. I have never regretted her and I never will. Even though I gained 28 1/2 pounds snd STILL need to get some of that of...along with AT LEAST an additional ten pounds.) Her and my son are what makes my world go 'round and are what gets me out of bed each morning. *sigh* Between my 'normal' depression and belated postpartum depression, I'm probably not making much sense at all; and, I sincerely apologize for that. Some my my medical background include insulin resistance (pre-diabetic), Hypthyroidism (formerly Graves' Disease), dizziness, extreme fatigue, shortness of breath (though, that has improved tremendously since losing significant weight), along with so many other things. Sorry to be such a downer...I would just love to know that I am not completely alone in this 'mess" I so call "LIFE" (((Hugs))) ~~Sherry 294.5/142/131

Sherry, I honestly think we should accept ourselves at whatever weight we are. Hard to do, but I think it will give us so much less stress in the long run. Now that being said, I don't think it is wrong to strive for a goal, but never let the goal become the only focus. What I was hearing in your post was frustration that maybe you have been on a plateau for awhile. Boy do I know about that!!! I finally decided I was obsessing too much with the scales and BANG they were dead. Now I am eating the same way I would eat if I was 130 and hopefully one day I will be there. if not, I'm still eating the way I would be anyway--and without the stress. Hug your babies. They are more important than a number on a scale. {{{{hugs}}}} Pat

{{{{{{{{{{Sherry}}}}}}}}}}}}} You're terrific just the way you are! ~V~

Sherry, I am in much the same place as you and did not have a baby. Somedays I want to work like crazy and get that last 19# out of the way. Other days I am am just sick of it and want to say enough is enough. I am not planning plastic surgery so I will never be thin. I am much healthier. I get scared sometimes that if I do not keep the losing weight mentality alive I will gain. It is fear. For me the fear is not that I will never reach my goal because size wise at least I am there. The fear is that I will gain. You are never alone here. that is why I came back to the OH boards. Hugs, Laurie

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))) I don't have any advice or words of wisdom...because this is something that only you can decide - as only you will live it. I think way too much emphasis is put on numbers, but that's me. Whatever you decide, you know I support you and will help in any way possible, including just listening to the occasional rant and sending you some honeybees to make you smile.

Sherry, Make a decision TODAY! And then Stick With It! UNTIL you make another! Just give yourself permission to give yourself permission... Then hold yourself accountable! My approach has been to remember why I did this to start with- Get Healthy and live longer. Even with my up coming PS I'll never - "Run Topless on the Beach!" But I'll have many more years to Walk on it. I'm not sure that I have anything to tell you. I believe that there's so much more of Life ahead. And it has Nothing to do with 10 to 20 lbs of flesh. Reach for your goals But don't beat yourself up for setting them Appropriately -just beyond your reach. That's what keeps us stretching! Yes? Hope you are fully enjoying your tremendous success And massively increased Health soon! Best Wishes- Dx

Sherry, I had set my own personal goal at 120lbs...my reasoning was so I would have some gaining room...my surgeon said I should be 134lbs. I'm at 139 now..and really don't want to lose anything else. My doc agrees. So am I disappointed in not getting to 120? No...first, I'm 42 120lbs would be close to underweight for me. I'm healthy...and darnit I have 37 inch hips...I mean whats not to love??? I guess I'm saying I agree with DxE give yourself permission to be.....(fill in whatever) That is what I've done. And really it is kind of liberating. I think you have done a fantastic job! I understand about depression I've battled it since I was a teenager...but like our weight..it is a battle we can win. Whatever you decide I'm sure everyone here will sign up to be in the cheering section! And remember, you are never alone...(at least thats what the voices in my head tell me!) (you know I'm kidding..just want you to smile) big hugs!! Leslie

(((Sherry))) ... you've come such a long long way. I think you need to give it a little time and baby fat will come off, so I don't think you should add to your frustration and just pick up the battle at another time. You've done SO well ... and geez, every post or answer I read of yours makes me think you've got it all together! You are not completely alone in the "mess" called "LIFE" ... I know I, for one am in a mess that I can't figure out how to get out of myself. I think you should be proud of yourself, pat yourself on the back and focus on what makes you happy (your kids). I wish I had an answer or some magic fairy dust that makes everything all right, but until I or someone finds it, I wish you the best ... hang in there ... you've helped a lot of people on these boards and I think you need to give yourself a break. Take care, Karyn

It wouldnt be giving up - it would facing the fact that without the PS those pounds will be here 'for now' anything can change in the future. so for now I am 'OK". Too many times (me included) we think we have to be perfect and thats not true. You have come SO FAR and are sucessful - loosing those last 11 pounds will NOT change that you are a sucess now. I would say your fine where you are - and if ps is in the future so be it if not so be it... congrats on where you are... you did a fantastic job.

((((Sherry))))), give yourself a break sweetie. You've come so far in such a short period of time. You are so much more healthier today then you where when you began this WLS life. And you've become a new mother again to a precious little girl that consumes lots of your time. I too believe goals are important but numbers on the scale shouldn't dictate your life.....take it one day at a time and if you reach that ultimate goal you've set great....if not, just keep working to stay healthy, after all that's what life should be for each of us....healthy and enjoying each day. Take care sweetie, we are here for you. Sorry you are experiencing the depression, I've been there, after my first son the post-partum controlled my life for a period of time, with proper medication I was finally able to get back to functioning like I wanted. Hugs, Dana