Head Games - How Do You Deal?

Hey Everyone - I'm struggling with my head these days. It seems to me that I no longer feel skinny/smaller. I've lost 170 pounds and have stalled out for three or four months. I'm still doing everything I'm supposed to do, so I'm not worried. However, I've noticed that I don't feel small any more. I think I felt smaller at 250 pounds than I do at 200 pounds. I'm thinking that maybe it's because I was still losing at 250 pounds and now I'm stuck at 200 pounds. It's been months since I've had to buy new clothes or since I've lost more than a couple of pounds. I struggle to get off every single pound now and they used to just fly off me. I knew this day was coming, but how do I deal with it? I know I am smaller than I was when I began, but I still feel that people who don't know me or where I've come from see me as fat. I'm having a tummy tuck and arm lift done in May and I'm hoping that will help me, but after I adjust to my body at that level then what? Will I feel fat again? How do I just feel normal? Will it come with time? Do I need to see a therapist? Will I ever be just happy with my body? Sometimes I think I was happier fatter and I didn't care. Now I can't get small enough. So my question is, am I alone in feeling like this? If you feel or felt this way, how did you handle it? I'm pretty sure it's normal, but I just need some encouragement. Thanks, Lily 10/14/04 374/207/185

I am pretty much whee you are. I have stalled at 207. I still think I am fat and I know that my BMI still says that I am. I fear that I won't lose any more. You have come much farther than I since I only started at 309. I try to tell my self that I am much better off now than before but it racks at me that nothing moves on the scale. Hang in there. I have been assured that if we keep doing the right stuff it will come off. It just is much harder when we get closer to goal. Your really close. After the TT you'll be even closer, probably below 200. Enjoy being beautiful at the size that you are. If you are still plagued by the negative thoughts, seeing a counselor is not a bad idea. I see mine for depression and anxiety and he is working with me on dealing with head issues, too.

Lily I am right therev with you.. No changes in months...I feel huge Bigger than at 300 pounds Diana RNY 9/17/03 360/203/180

Lily, Feeling the same way. Its hard when the loss goes away and you think to yourself....SELF you aren't at goal or normal yet. Then you think why can't it just keep coming off like it did in the beginning...you only have another 59 lbs to go! Its been very hard on me. I just feel like I am in a funk. I feel the horrible cycle coming back on me. I remember losing alot of weight with optifast and well I think I sabbotaged myself because I got into a funk just like this. It scares me. I am in therapy and well it only helps so much. Its a fear I have to overcome by myself. I keep running from it but it does not get lost easily. I hate this feeling of fattness. I guess I am more insecure thinner than fatter. I didn't care when I was fat. Perhaps this caring feeling is the problem. Its just plain hard. Sorry I am not giving encouragement....Its the funk. I am usually better. I hope this phase of life passes quickly for both of us. Debbie

Oh Debbie, sorry to read about funk as you call it. We can really sabbotage ourselves, I know that I did this to me for years. Afraid of failure and success. I had to write down 12 reasons or things I wanted to accomplish with WLS for my Weight Management doctors. I review that list often to help me remember where I was, 330lbs, and where I am now, 207lbs. Sure I want to lose more weight to maybe even get to 160lbs, but if I don't lose another pound I am a winner, I am a success, I am now in control (shaky at times but thinking before I shove something in my mouth...new ground there for me Debbie), I am normal. Hey I can wipe my ass without getting a side charlie horse, bend over touch my toes and breath at the same time. I talk to the inner fat Monica alot, I remember, I put on my once tight sized 32 jeans and look at how I don't fill them out now. I carry laminated photos of the before Monica and stare at them in wonder, with a heavy heart that just 14 months ago I was that person, a prisoner in my body. I am now living and it is a wonderful world. Don't set yourself up for failure, focus on the good new stuff, don't make the golden ring on the Carousel of Life impossible to grab. You are wonderful, you are successful. I believe that and so should you. Monica, age 57 healthier, happier, sexier, and so thankful

Thank you Monica. Many of the things you do sound like things I could incorporate in my life. You are very right about making the golden ring an impossible grab. I often wonder if this is something that can be changed in a person. I would really like to stop doing that! The 12 items is a great idea! I have always had only 4....I guess I need to think of some more and reinforce it! I am glad you posted! Debbie

Head hunger - grrrrrrrr! But I think I've found a book that is helping. It is titled: Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet. It was written by Linda Spangle, who is a nurse. It sure has opened my eyes. I found the paperback on Amazon.com for only $10.17 Here is the link, if you are interested: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0895260573/ref=pd_lpo_k2a_1_txt/104-3863265-4283128?%5Fencoding=UTF8 Tom

Thanks Tom....I think I will order this today! Debbie

Geeze... we could be twins.. in fact I guess there are a lot of us stuck there..... Here's what I do (sometimes...sometimes I just waller in my own funk too) I think about where I was less than 2 years ago... 380 and going blind, waiting to die... now I can run 6 miles, hardly ever get tired, wear a 14, don't take insulin... yada yada yada..... My point... think of the success you have had, the funk is a part of the old obese lifestyle... don't let it override the new you..... get out there and have some fun... do something that you could not have done before wls.... yeah, I may not be a size four and maybe the BMI says I'm still fat.... but I am not Severly Morbidly Obese, size 28 and I am not waiting to die!!! I hear it gets easier the further out you are.... good luck!! Laurie - minus 176 lbs!!

I'm sitting there right next to you. I've been stuck at 205-210 lbs since November. I originally wanted to get to 150 lbs. I'd revised my goal to say I want to get to 170. Now I'd be tickled pink to get to 200. So frustrated. I've been stalled since November at this weight. I hit -100 lbs and my body has not moved a bit since then. When I first hit this weight last fall I felt really good, felt thin. I continued to shrink after hitting this weight, but the shrinking has been over for a couple of months. Now I feel fat and bloated. I feel like everything is shifting to my middle. My labs are normal. I'm eating 1000-1500 calories daily, varying the foods and quantities so that I don't get in a rut. I stick with lean protein, whole grain carbs, low sugar fruits, green veggies. I've upped my exercise. Obviously I don't have an answer on how to break this plateau. I keep telling myself that it will pass, that I must stick with the program, but it gets really hard to do that with no positive return on my energy. good luck, Sue O.