Longing for the euphoria!

Hi all, I'm just over 8 months postop. I feel fantastically successful, but lately I am just not feeling that old excitement about losing weight that I felt prior to the holidays. At Thanksgiving I met my milestone goal of 100 pounds down and am working toward the next milestone of 150 pounds down. I miss the old days of feeling self-confident proud, excited and obsessed about my weight loss. It has become sort of just another chore. I know I'm at a place where I need to go out and buy smaller clothes because what I bought at Christmas is no longer fitting, but this doesn't excite me. My goal at 150 pounds off is a new Vespa motor scooter, and there's a question in my mind of whether or not I'll be able to afford it. I'll know when I get my taxes done tomorrow night, depending on the size of the refund. That's not as big a deal as the fact that I seem to have lost the excitement and self-pride that comes from this accomplishment. It's like I'm forgetting how far I've come. I was just thinking yesterday about how many times I go up and down the stairs at work, and how a year ago I actually planned my trips into the basement so I could minimize that task daily. This and many other things its like I'm forgetting where I came from! Maybe its just the time of year, winter is full of blahs, and I'm experiencing some negativity and self-doubt at work. I know that in the past when this happened I'd just stuff those feelings down with food. Now I can no longer do that, so I'm just working on getting through, you know? I know I will come across as some kind of shallow narcissistic chick but I need to get excited again! Any suggestions? Yours in pounds down, Jen -128

Jen, every now and then I have to pull out an old pre-surgery picture of myself and really really look at it. A sobering reminder of where I was and how far I've come. You go girl, you're doing wonderfully! Linda

Hi Jen, I am having similiar issues. I think mine in particular is that I am so used to living in "survival mode" that I don't know how to just "be". Now that my buddy aka food is gone, I feel restless, bored, and unable to get interested in things that I used to like. (gaming, etc) All I really like right now is shopping, and well thats just too hard on our wallet. Also, the only person here in AZ that knows what I used to look like is my hubby. So I don't have co-workers to compliment me, and yeah I know that sounds so shallow doesn't it? But I think we forget and miss the "ohhhs and ahhhs" from people around us when things become normal (for lack of a better word). When I need a boost, a reminder about how far I've come, I go to my computer and bring up my monthly pictures. Every month, starting as a pre-op my husband took three shots of me in bra & undies, front, back and side. I can also call up my spreadsheet of monthly measurements, and near daily weigh-ins. It really does help. Now if I could only find something to do that interests me, like a hobby. Michele

Jen: I think that no matter what it is in life, the novelty does wear off eventually - even with WLS. Once you've lost all the weight and have stabilized pretty much, and everyone gets used to seeing you thinner, and you don't get the compliments all the time, and life in general just gets back to normal, then we do tend to "forget" where we've been and how far we've come. I like the suggestion from another poster about getting out some old pics and looking at those to remind you of "the past." I just had that opportunity the other day - my mom was looking through some pics from the past few years, and she took one out of me about 6 months before my surgery, and then another one from about 9 months after. Wow - that was an eye-opener. I "forgot" what I used to look like, and it was cool to see that old pic and realize what a change has occurred. I think you will get your enthusiasm back, Jen. Just keep working at it, and find ways to reward yourself (non-food of course) - like looking forward to getting your Vespa when you have reached your next milestone of 50 more pounds off. Hang in there - spring is right around the corner, and I think that will help with your outlook too. I know it always helps mine - just getting more daylight is a big plus!! Carlita

I think that you have done so wonderfully, congradulations. I had my surgery on 12/06/04, full gastric bypass with a large section of my small bowel resectioned. I am 58 years old now and I started my journey at 330 lbs. I have lost 122 lbs and now weight 208. I am stalled at a plateau and I am getting a bit antsy about this. I must remind myself that I did not get MO overnight, that my adult lifetime was spent MO and filled with weight loss struggles and continued failures. These past 14 months have been successful for me, I am now in control...an entire new concept for Monica. I often reveiw the 12 reasons why I wanted to have this surgery. I see how far I have come and what I still have on the list that I have not conquered. I take delight in all the small things that I can now do, even bending over to tie my shoes is super. I take delight in the fact that I no longer have to contort and twist my body to wipe my ass and feel clean after a BM. Basis stuff yes, but I remember getting charlie horses on my sides with this task and never feeling squeaky clean like I do now. Somehow this one act rekindles the excitment in me to stay the course and continue to follow the rules, sip my water, take my vitamins, and make good healthy choices. Little mental mantras also help me. I work in an area where many bring in food to share. I just silently repeat "I know what that tastes like" to myself and chose not to taste or sample something. If I really want a taste than I just taste, not a slab of whatever it is. Very controlled for a women who has not been in control for a very long time. AAAAHHHH so refreshing. Don't let this next goal control your progress. Don't set yourself up for failure. Remember you have do so very very well. You are healthier and so much better off having lost those 128 lbs. Dwell and focus on your success and don't look forward too far. Remember you are still in the new person phase, not even a year old yet. Take a deep breath and be good to yourself. Monica 330/208/16? healthier, happier, sexier, and so thankful.

I've been stalled for almost 4 months now and I hear you with the "ANTSY"! I'd say I'm just about frantic, certifiably totally wacko. Sue O.

Hey Jennifer... why not set your "goal" to a really great bicycle. It would be much better suited to your post-op lifestyle. Think of all the great exercise you would get. It's much cheaper than a Vespa, too ! Just a thought. Check out your local cycle shop and you might be converted. Karen G :0