Advise/Comments please

Helllloooo Grads I have been wrestling with an issue and wanted to throw it out to you grads for comments, etc. I have lost 154 lbs. which is great. I feel good, better than I have ever felt in my life. A few weeks ago my weight went to 174#'s. I did not like what I looked like at that weight. My face looked old and wrinkley and sunken in. I hemmed and hawed for days...still doing it. In an attempt to slow the aging process I religiously use creams, lotions, and potions. Nothing would soften the effects. It was like I was seeing a skeleton of my face. I know it sound wierd, but that is how I felt. I ducked away whenever a camera was in the vicinity. Anyhow, I decided to let myself gain a little, hoping my self image would improve. I am now at 180 and loving it. I am still in size 12's/mediums. I have been at 180 for 2 weeks now and my face has filled in more and I like what I see. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and plan to maintain at 180. When I think of the 180 I still think of myself as fat. 180 seems like such a high number. If I lose anymore, it will be slower and hopefully my face will not take on the skeleton effect. Is this wierd? Does this make any sense at all? Am I putting too much attention on a number? Come on Grads, help me out here...good and bad..... Thanks Sheryl

Read this: "I am now at 180 and loving it." Did you read it? Did it answer your question? If it sounds familiar, it's because... YOU SAID IT! You are LOVING it. You FEEL good! It's SO not about the doggone number, woman! Well, that's my humble opinion. Angie

If you feel good where you are, then don't worry about the number. I have been told that I am too thin and sometimes I too think my face is too thin and I struggle with that, but I like being the body size I am, so I guess that makes me more comfortable. Besides, I have tons of clothes and if I gained to fill out my face, I would have to start all over again and don't know what I would do with all that I have! I think I will just go get fat injections into my face or something and then maybe people would quit telling me I am too thin! It is just a number and if you are happy and feel good and look good, then I would say you are done! Angie - below goal

My surgeon, PCP and plastic surgeon all told me to stop losing because I had no fat left to lose. I'm 5'6", medium to large frame, and still weigh 188 lbs which I don't like to admit. However I am wearing size 12 pants (kind of baggy), 14/16 tops due to bust line. My surgeon explained that we'd built a lot of muscle carrying all the weight around for years. Plus many of us have exercised a lot, including weights as we lost weight. He told me if I continued to lose weight it would be muscle and that could be dangerous because it could be heart muscle, calf muscle, etc. Keep in mind a pound of muscle only takes up 1/4 the space of a pound of fat. Both weigh a pound but they look different on our frame. I've finally accepted that this is good enough. I will never be a size 6 but I look good at size 12. I started this journey at 410 so 188 sounds pretty good in comparison. I still don't like to admit to my current weight, but nobody believes me when I tell them how much I weigh anyway. I wear smaller sizes than friends who weigh less than I do. We have to figure out what works for us and maintain that number. Best of luck.

Sheryl, I agree, if you feel good at 180, stay at 180! I lost 156 pounds, and I'm down to 138. When I first got down here about 5 months ago I looked at myself and thought that I looked sickly too. However, it seems that my face just readjusted and I don't look so drawn anymore.... however I may be just getting used to it! YOu need to do what feels right and comfortable for you! Good luck, Michelle

180 is just a number. I agree with everyone else~if you feel good at a weight, any weight, then that's where you should be!!!! Tracy B 328/162/150

Sheryl, It's really all relative, isn't it? I am at goal at b/w 148-153 and think I look really good & like the size clothes I'm in. My grown kids & husband say I'm absolutely perfect & don't need to lose another lb. I exercise and am more fit than I've ever been as an adult (I'm 56). But I read all the posts from grads who weigh less--like in the 130's & below--more like what I was in h.s.--and I think to myself, "Gee, I'm still around 150" and start doubting if this is good enough! When I was first gaining weight many, many years ago, I thought I was really gross at this weight! But I'm gradually learning to be content w/ where I am. I KNOW I'm grateful beyond belief at what I've lost (over 145 lbs.) and will be thrilled to maintain this weight. If I'm able to get some plastics, I know I'll shed some more weight, but even if I don't, I'm happy with myself at this weight. You know (from what you've said) that you look & feel good! Now we just need to get our thinking as healthy as our bodies are! We can be our own worst enemy; instead, we need to give ourselves a break and be proud of how far we've come! Thanks for helping me to remember this! Jo

A number is just a number. if you feel good look good - who cares what the number is. I should be 115, but when I hit 120 I looked like death. 130-135 i is perfect for me. I posted this to my profile a while ago 9/28/2005 BMI My BMI is 27.3 when I weigh in at 135, I am consistantly 130-135. So that leaves me at overweight. My supposed "ideal" body weight is around 118. I had a body fat analysis over the weekend that showed me at a "very Good" level of body fat and not at all overweight. whew! I was getting a complex because I am working so hard and even gained some pounds when I started exercising harder and lifting weights. ( I was 125 after belt lipectomy) Even tho I am pretty happy with wearing a size 8 petite I was wondering if I should buckle down harder and lose more weight to get my BMI in the normal weight category. The trainers at the health club think BMI's are not accurate because they don't determine how much is muscle vs. fat. IE a 6 ft 200# body builder will have the same BMI as a 6 foot tall 200# couch potato with a pot belly. I wonder how many out there are struggling with the last 20 pounds and not taking all this into account and setting themselves up for failure by having unreasonable expectations for them selves. beating them selves up and not celebrating how far they have come. It is all too easy to pick ourselves apart instead of focusing on what is good about us.

This is about us personally, individuals. We spent so long judging ourselves based on numbers, it's hard to stop. I don't mention my weight alot--I just say I'm at goal and have been there for almost 4 years. No gain. Same size. That is such an awesome accomplishmemt, that finally, fianlly the numbers mean very little. I'm down from my all time high weight before WLS of 367 to 189. I weigh less than when I was married 26 years ago, less when I had my son 21 years ago. I'm even smaller than when I graduated from high school!!! I love shopping--I get rid of clothes when they still fit to make room for new clothes. I don't have to keep clothes just because the fit---ther are more that will!! I look good, feel great. I do anything I want---the mainthing here is--- what I want to do----not what anyone thinks I should be doing. This is my life, and I have to live it for me, like the song says---My Way> We are not all supposed to be 200#, 180# or even 130#. We come in all sizes, and all shapes. Lets think back---why did we have WLS--why did we alter our lives, and take the risk? To fit into a size 2, or to be healthy and have the right to make choices? And hey---being a 2, is fantastic---please do not see this as saying otherwise. The whole thing i'm sayoing--that we all are saying is it's OK to feel good about yourself . good luck. Bek