Which is easier?

I spent my day mostly going from meeting to meeting and meal to meal and snack to snack and poor choice to worse choice to just sinking down low and saying screw it...for the rest of the day I am going to eat a whole bunch of crap and enjoy it! Now that it is late at night, and I can't sleep because I have what feels like a bowling ball in my gut... ...I started thinking about lifestyle choices. Which is easier? A lifestyle of awareness (calories/fats/overall quality of choices), control (portions/behaviors), reasonable (non-diet approach), comfortable (what works for you vs. others), healthy? Or A lifestyle of taking it day by day, hoping to eat the right stuff, having an idea of quantity/quality, not being exact, dieting to beat the next stall? 99% of the time I am the former "in-control" type...today I lost control. I know why (poor planning, hectic schedule, incredible pressure) but what scares me is that after 4 years and 4 months of this thing...my old habits/relationship with food haunt me. I ran a meeting with a very dynamic group of community leaders this evening...we all shared a little something about ourselves...I shared that my name is Karen and I have a 280# morbidy obese woman sitting on my shoulder. ...I plan to keep her there...if only to remember why today cannot be a pattern. I keep her there to remember every minute of every day how it feels to be MO...the emotional pain, the physical challenge, the loneliness even in a world surrounded by love. She will sit there forever, with her fat ass on my shoulder blade...unable to cross her legs! Karen

Karen Something in the air today... I missed two of my "mini-meals" because One meeting ran long And little- "You've got to deal with this now!" things Popped up all day! I substituted water for 2 of my meals today and got off schedule. Later when the urgency of the day calmed down? I didn't "catch-up" with extra food, Just had a little extra Slim-Fast Low Carb After dinner. Behind, (guess-timation only) by about 25gms Protein For the day. So, I'll catch-up tomorrow, or "Plan to." It's a little like surfing. I've try to make the best of the changes that are Coming at me that are beyond my control And adjust to keep headed in the direction I want to go. Just a thought.... Plan, Plan, Plan, like you do, Then adjust as needed when something comes up. Best Wishes- Dx

There's no surf in Cleveland. Maybe that's why historically I defer to sink or swim. I guess what resonates most is that I practice the planning thing day and and day out...it's the little blips that come up that throw me off so easily. Could it be 30+ years of negative behaviors can easily trump nearly 5 of getting it right? I appreciate your support, and know that the promise of tommorow provides endless opportunity...do what's right and what works...or stay up late because the endless buffet of garbage is wreaking havoc on your gut. Thanks Dx. Karen

I prefer the former. Now that doesn't mean I don't make bad choices (just aware of them - VERY much so) or that I don't fly by the seat of my pants - for example, dinner was made too late so my 'planned' steak and cauliflower went down the drain. Everyone else had Ramen and I've yet to have dinner. Sigh.... So I TRY to live by the former, but sometimes the latter takes over. No excuses - it just does and yup that 400+ pound woman sits heavily on my shoulder as well. What a wonderful way to assess it!

Maybe your 400# woman could meet my 280# woman? Who knows...they may have tons of fun?!

I find neither option easy. Being reminded of my former self and all the things I felt as that person seems to keep me in check. I like the fat chick in the shoulder line. I remember not breathing well going up the one flight of stairs and never admitting it was the weight issue. I remember sweating standing still. I remember having to sit on my bed just to tie my shoes. All those things are so clear in my mind and I never want to feel them again. Once is definitely enough in my book. I wish I were a planner. I do it to a point. My meals usually happen at a certain time of day. I don't know what the meals will be.....But I usually eat staples such as yogurt and cottage cheese daily. Oh and lets not forget the all important AM protein shake and power crunch bar snack. But other stuff is a wing and a pray. I try and keep it within the calorie range I can afford. I find I can only afford 1600 calories. Yes I look at my meals like I am buying things. The pounds on are not worth it to me and its my constant reminder. Between adjusting eating and exercising I do okay. I would like to do better. But for now this has been working. When I see its not then we will tweak it. Always looking for other ways of doing things. Very opened to them all! I have often wondered why I cannot plan out meals? I have to plan project for work all the time. Could it be I resent what I do at work so I don't want to incorporate it in my life? It just seems to rigid to me to say I will have XYZ each day. I like to be flexible and know nothing is off limits its just portion controlled. Debbie

I am with you on the flexibility and staying away from a mentality of denial! Portion control is so important too...you are speakin' my language! Karen

"A lifestyle of taking it day by day, hoping to eat the right stuff, having an idea of quantity/quality, not being exact, dieting to beat the next stall" is definitely easier but not nearly as effective.......at least for me. I had "one of those days" today also Karen. There WAS a plan, but when it all went to hell, I ate on the go and the choices were crap, crap, crap. I'm not going too nuts over it because I DO normally plan ahead, and as long as things go according to schedule there aren't many problems. But I know exactly what you meanby being haunted by the old habits. I'm sure I could have found SOMETHING better. If nothing else I could have ran to the grocery on my supper break (a pretty rushed trip, but it can be done.) Instead I went for easy, for convenient, which is exactly what had me weighing close to 300 lbs. in the not too distant past. I guess the plus side is that we are at least aware of the bad days, and like Dx said we can and DO get our ****t together when the next one rolls around.

Sure we all have bad days...and those days are always learning opportunities. But when you are in the middle of them, or coming down from the sugar high, the road to success seems distant and covered with fog! Karen

I want to say these "keeping us honest" entries have really helped me in eating better. I have not been eating enough of the right things. I have to say it is really working. I want to drop another 5 lbs and I have already gotten rid of three very stubborn pounds. (Can you believe we get to the point we are talking about losing 5 or 10 lbs rather than 70 or in my case 235???) I have also upped my workouts at the gym by two a week. This messageboard works for those of us way out from the newbies! Thanks. I'll let you know when I hit my new goal!